Furious with what happened to DS17 on his last day of work

FFS this is terrible.

I would bet that a company that routinely humiliates its staff is not going to be a good employer to women, people with disabilities etc.

If that had happened to me at 17 I dread to think how traumatized I would have been, having already suffered two serious assaults at the hands of men.

It's especially bad that your son is a child and hadn't even been working there that long.

Sure some men apparently like this kind of weird hazing style ritual, but they can join a rugby team or an American fraternity. What happened at your son's work was a disgusting male dominance display and abuse of power.

The filming is so deeply sinister..Probably so they can play it back and get their jollies.

I’d listen to what he wants. I would see if I could find out if it was tradition though or if he was personally victimised.

In media we ‘bang people out’ where everyone beats the tables as you leave. It’s a very moving experience to have hundreds making a beat to wish you onwards and upwards. THAT is a tradition. Not humiliating people.

It gets worse!!!! Filming it!? Happy slapping is still round clearly, op you have gotto report this company to the police and to an external watchdog, tradesmen aren't infallible for fear or reprisals, bloody animals treating him like that.

A 17 hear old humiliated and not yet aware of the world and employment law is bound to say don't say anything. I mean when I was a teen I wouldn't let my mum send anything back in a restaurant for fear of embarrassment so ended up eating a cheese pancake thick with icing sugar once insisting it was fine ...

But @Workcomplaintt you definitely need to report them, that kind of hazing is serious and the sort of thing that can harm a person, and isn't funny to anyone but those with the flour and eggs in their hands. Especially as your son didn't know, jts different to know you get planked on your last day to being ambushed with that and to be tied up is such a step too far, he couldn't get away! Only reason they could do it is hevause he is a green 17 Yr old, a grown adult would be harder to haze. Sorry for your son, I hope he begins to understand how unacceptable this is in the workplace.

They filmed it?! How very bloody odd, that owner is a relic stuck back in the 90s when this nonsense was common. How awful for your son. This happened to me nearly 30 years ago and I hated the attention nevermind anything else, had no idea it was going to happen, though probably should have expected something from the eijit of a head chef. The practicalities of trying to get home afterwards were nearly worse, i usually walked home but the combination of a volatile July in a N Irish town with a bridge that randomly was blocked and an accent from the Republic meant I had been getting taxis ,so it was a whole palaver sorting getting home.
You can't do anything if he's asked you not to, but its a horrible thing

@ChristinaPaigeDoesNotApprove presumably the victim wouldn’t allow it to happen by making clear said issue?

It’s the sort of thing that used to happen in the 1980s but I thought society had moved on from that in this day and age.
It says a lot about the culture of the company.
Your son has asked you not to get involved and you should respect that, but you can support him through it especially if he decides to make a complaint himself.

It’s child abuse. He’s a minor. I’d go to the police and I’d taken legal action against the company.

Victim blaming now.
He's a child.
17 is still very young.
This was assault and I would go to the police in your place. Yes, they may not do anything much. But I would try.

Why do some people think this acceptable behaviour? Its humiliation plain and simple, would this be seen as ok if it was an adult this was happening to, or a young female? No it would've for those of you who think it's just a bit of fun.

He may not need a reference but if he was a conscientious employee he might like to feel able to ask for one, and not be remembered as the lad whose mum made a formal complaint non his behalf. I would have been mortified if my mother contacted my employer about anything against my wishes . I never expected my parents to phone in if I was sick either. I always dealt with my own problems myself at 17. It's a different matter if her son asks his mother to report it on his behalf but he hasn't.

There was the sad case of a child who died after a piece of cheese was thrown at him at school.

I would report this to the police and get a solicitor involved to threaten legal action with the aim of getting an agreement to apologise, delete the video, undertake never to let this happen again, provide compensation and an agreed reference.

I wasn't suggesting the employer would give a bad reference. The employer might refuse to give one at all.

I got a doing like this at work- including eggs, flour, ketchup, mayonnaise and 2 big buckets of water - before I got married, but I wasn't tied up and was able to chase the ringleader and try to give her a big hug when I was plastered in the stuff, and I was able to change into scrubs to go home. I think the tying up is really wrong though, and I don't think they would have done it to somebody young or really shy, or who they hadn't known for years. I'm pretty sure they would have stopped if I hadn't been laughing and fighting back. It's one of those "only a joke if the victim thinks it's funny" things.

I would also persuade them to report it to the police, and go with them to support them. I'd at least comfort DC make it clear that what happened was totally unacceptable.

@Workcomplaintt given is a tradition, he presumably knew it was coming and / or observed it happening to others.

it would be interesting to explore with him:

1. why he did nothing beforehand to make clear he didn’t want it. Presumably he could have spoken with his manager or hr
2. if he observed, and possibly participated, in it happening to others. If he did, and either didn’t raise it as an issue or even was part of it, it would lead to an interesting discussion…

perhaps these reasons are partly behind why he didn’t say anything about it and doesn’t want you to….: as he knew it was a possibility, didn’t do anything to actively manage the situation in the run up, and may even have been complicit in the same happening to others previously.

all good material for life lessons to be learnt that will benefit him going forward

Idiots undermining and humiliating a junior colleague. However@Workcomplaintt don't make it worse for ds by taking it further.

He’s 17. Old enough to have a job, old enough to drive a car, old enough to join the military, old enough to have consensual sex and bring children into this world, and he’d also be old enough to vote should many campaigners get their way.

but not old enough to stand up for himself in a workplace nor not old enough to have you respect his wishes?

come on, get a grip, he’s not a baby

This.

and, if there is a problem to be dealt with, let him deal with it. Will be fantastic learning experience as he won’t always have mummy to save him.

I'd do what DS requests - say nothing.

Though when you went to collect DS, you should have demanded that the workplace give you a towel and bin liner before you would be letting their cooking ingredients travel in your car.

Did you take pictures?

As a Coeliac I completely agree with @GiddyRobin. Flour is really not funny.

I can't think of anything more embarrassing than a parent storming into my work at 17.

Leave it alone, you may find your son was consulted and went along with it until he came across you.

as much as I agree with you that what they did was wrong on so many levels YABU if you go in all guns blazing about it your DS has asked you not to respect his wishes and just leave it alone do you really want to embarrass him any more by marching up there and having at go at them for it he doesn’t work there anymore and he doesn’t need his mum to fight his battles for him just let it go and be glad he’s left and it was only temporary.