AIBU to feel hurt about last minute party cancellations?

I'm an August 25th Baby. My friends were ALWAYS away for my Birthday, because it invariably fell on the bank holiday weekend or during the last week of holidays and people had plans. If you want more people to be able to come, perhaps consider having her party in very early September in future? That way, people are unlikely to be on holiday........

Oh yes totally agree that once they are old enough to notice its just dreadful, probably better to stop setting them up for disappointment though? Its a lot of work as well!

I think the main problem is the timing of the invites. I know why you sent them out 2 months early because of school etc but 2 months before not everyone will know what they’re doing over the bank holiday weekend. I do usually think if you agree to something you should stick to it but in this case I’m not sure I do, if I’d agree 2 months before to go to a child’s party for 2/3 hours and then my DH said let’s take the family away for the weekend I know I’d choose the weekend away.

August baby here. This has always been an issue - same as for kids born over Christmas. Sad as it may feel, you're trying to compete with too many other family activities scheduling a kids party in August, despite taking care to plan before schools broke up. By this time in the holidays, emotional attachment to schoolfriends can be quite detached. Do it mid-September when the kids have got all giddy and excited, having seen each other again and friendships been reignited.
Hope your daughter had a super celebration!

We have very good friends who always ALWAYS schedule a party bank holiday weekend. They live a few hours away, we don't like a lot of their other friends who go and I don't want to commit the next ten years until he stops having parties of working our bank holidays around it. I've had this conversation with my friend and we always make additional plans to celebrate. So you can be disappointed but your choice is to take the L or do what loads of people do and have the party a few weeks either side so people can come. Lots of people are making the BH point but to say there are other options for you, and it would still be a great party if not on the actual bday.

Op people are flaky next time do it it June before break up

It’s not a good weekend for it: make it fun for your daughter this year and next year do it the following weekend.

Unfortunately, it’s just a timing issue being the very end of the six weeks holiday and bank holiday weekend. It’s courteous of the people you invited to have at least let you as on the contrary I see a lot of posts with people having not RSVP’d at all. Today is my sisters 18th and she has several friends that are away, at festivals, working because it’s busier etc. She has been quite upset about it so I do know it’s really disappointing. My brother is a NYE baby so similar situation for him. That being said, your LG will have a fab time and probably won’t even realise at the time who is missing as she’ll be having too much fun. Next year I’d propose doing a party before or just after the school holidays.

Summer holiday birthdays are tricky. Lots are away and in June it’s pretty hard to commit to a day in August. When my dc were in their party years the holiday birthdays tended to have them after they went back for that reason. People are back in their regular routines then.

In my experience, kids care very much about their own birthday parties and (once they are old enough to understand what’s going on) they tend to feel very upset and hurt if not many kids turn up. It’s also not great for the parents if they still have to pay for the no shows.

It might not matter too much if one or two kids are no shows, but if six sets of parents decide to renege on their RSVP and go to the beach instead, then that stings and the birthday child is likely to be gutted.

I do feel for one of my DC’s friends who had her party on her birthday, during the Easter holidays (soft play followed by food at home). Several parents turned the invitation down and DD was the only child who came to soft play with the birthday girl, although a few more came to the meal at home. Poor kid!

Of course children care about their party! All of my kids would be involved with planning, sending invites, choosing food and looking forwards to the day. They would be disappointed if they thought friends were coming and they cancelled

Very few reasons, barring emergency or illness to accept an invite and then cancel when the event comes. Its rude to decide there is a better offer imo, and if there is a chance that someone may be of the opinion they may suddenly chose to do something else, they should just decline the invite in the first place.

I wouldn’t book a kids party slap bang in the middle of a bank holiday weekend, you are setting yourself up for this; as guarantee people won’t have realised in June when exactly the party is; plus this week they will have realised it will be there last chance to go away for a while.

DD sounds like has lots coming anyway, and she won’t notice; I know it’s annoying to be let down last min, I personally wouldn’t do it but it happens. Next year find a date after the holidays just to be safe. Hope DD has fun

Lots of reasons really. In my day you could safely have a kids party because in the seventies literally no one ever had anything else on. No one did. Ever.
Now its all busy and busy and busy so (a) people get double booked, (b) people get better or more important invites and (c) people are doing last minute breaks plus tbh no one, your kid included, actually cares about a little kid party. It's not a milestone event.

Probably best to stop planning them.

YANBU to feel hurt. My eldest is an August baby and I'm afraid you have to accept that you either schedule the party for term time or have it near her birthdate and accept that many people won't come. End of June is too much notice for an August BH weekend party and many people won't know their plans that far ahead. I would have declined at the time rather than risk letting you down once I knew what we were doing for that weekend.

From experience, I advise you to have her friend party in the final weeks of the summer term next year and then do a family celebration. My DD is now a teen so we're through the years of big class parties. This year was the closest her party has ever been to her actual birthdate because I sent a WhatsApp poll to check summer holiday availability in her friendship group and scheduled it accordingly on a weekday evening.

I have learnt this too this summer. Next year have the part in term time. Not the final weekend either as some people go away straight away. I struggled a couple of weeks ago and in the end had 5 come, out of all the boys in the class. It was fine but bloody stressful getting so many sorry cannot make it replies! Next year’s party will be in June.

Everyone saying its poor timing, too far in advance, plans change.... surely the better thing to do if any of those things could apply to you and your family is decline the invite, not to accept but then chance your mind if something better for the bank holiday weekend comes along

That way, op could have rethought the party plan if she got a lot of declining and rearranged for September when back at school.. not planned a party with the numbers that had confirmed, for people to then cancel

I am a believer that if you commit to something, you should honour that. Not agree unless something better comes along

Many comments rightly saying that the bank holiday is not a good time for a kids party so beat that in mind for future reference. BUT also remember that people are increasingly rude and see nothing of simply changing plans to suit them with no thought to the birthday kid or the parents planning. You read so many posts on here of poor kids where no one shows up to their party and they don't even receive a message to explain why. Good manners and kindness are a thing of the past, so bear this in mind too.

i hope your daughter has a fab day x

Agree with others, it's the timing. I certainly don't wouldn't prioritise a child's birthday party over other plans on a bank holiday weekend/ last weekend of the school holidays. No matter how far in advance it was arranged. I also wouldn't have RSVP'd yes and then cancelled though as I'm not rude.

FWIW, my kids have birthdays over Christmas and we do their parties at the end of January to get better attendance.

You'll need to get used to this and adapt accordingly, perhaps delaying her birthday party until the first weekend after the start of school. My birthday is tomorrow and I've had a lifetime of no parties as there was literally no one around to party with, and also my birthday going unnoticed and unacknowledged as it falls on the last weekend of the summer holidays, a bank holiday, last minute preparations for the return to school, etc. It isn’t anyone’s fault, but it is a predictable consequence of the timing, similar to people who have december/january birthdays, and one you may need to plan around.

I’m really hating all the
“people don’t know what they’ll be doing the end of August if you ask them in July”
comments.

If you’ve said you’ll be at their party at the end of August then THAT’s what you’ll be doing. If you are not putting that on a calendar and working subsequent plans around these previous commitments, then you and your family are dicks.

It such a selfish thing to do, RSVPing as a back-up plan if nothing better comes along. Usually it’s selfish parents who put their own preferred plans over what would make their children happy (hanging with their friends at a party.)

And the excuses are always really lame. Just know that when you can’t commit to a kids birthday party in just 6 weeks time because your life is so exciting and unpredictable, or you cancel last minute because you’ve had a better offer, there will be a bitchy group of mums and dads who will definitely notice.

As an end of August birthday girl I birthday like the royals and always had an October birthday party when at school, so people would come.

Even now I don’t attempt to do things with groups on my actual birthday but instead spread it out right across the summer.

Sorry they let you down though.

Summer bank holiday becomes precious family time for a lot and last minute weekends etc. 2 hours for someone else’s child becomes irrelevant. Harsh but how it pans out.

My son is always feb half term. We now do it the week before or the week after.

Without sounding brutal, your party isn't very important in the grand scheme of other people's lives.... It's not because they don't like you, or your dd, they really do but life gets busy, things move around, people in the summer juggle abroad holidays, annual leave, work, childcare, family etc. It's a super busy weekend, it's been a while since you sent the invites and people with have forgotten or booked other things. It's just life and generally I expect about 10% of people to drop out always. Don't stress, you and dd are very liked but summer holiday parties are just a bit like this, she'll have an amazing time, don't take it to heart!

It’s frustrating but it is the bank holiday weekend and the last weekend before the kids go back to school (weirdly falling bank holiday this year). I’d say it’s bad timing and maybe don’t plan it for the bank holiday weekend next time. August is always going to be bad for someone booked away but I know loads of people who are away this week/weekend. I know mine is always going to be awkward for people as it’s so close to Christmas, you either have to go early or late if you want people to be free.

It is the timing that is the problem. As many other posters have said, plans change abruptly in summer and few people ate likely to give up a weekend away because of the birthday party of someone in their child’s class. In future arrange for September