Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish my partner was funnier?

118 replies

Banoffeemuffin · 27/08/2026 19:57

I have the most amazing partner, we have been together 2 years and honestly, he has treated me so well. He's emotionally intelligent, mature, kind, great with my kids, thoughtful, great in the bedroom, consistent. We also do have a bit of a laugh together and tease each other but he's not naturally funny.
I work with a guy who just has this unbelievable sense of humor, he doesn't even try to be funny, he just is, lots of one liners and just dry, silly humour. Im constantly laughing.
I'm not physically attracted to him but I just keep thinking how fun it would be to actually be with someone who was like that and sometimes feel a bit sad that I'm not going to have that. AIBU?

OP posts:
FlorenceLawrence · 28/08/2026 00:25

Interesting - my ex wasn't a funny guy, as such, but we did used to laugh together a lot. Lots of in jokes, love the same comedy shows.
I've worked & known some bloody hilarious men, and it's an incredibly attractive trait in a man, but they aren't always good relationship material, for reasons PP's have already said.
So, I couldn't have a relationship with a man I couldn't laugh with, I don't think. But you should probably step away from the funny guy in the office.

bridgetreilly · 27/08/2026 23:48

Watch a sitcom if you want laughs.

Catza · 27/08/2026 23:47

sonjadog · 27/08/2026 20:25

For me, someone who I can laugh with is an essential requirement in a partner. However, I notice that you mention he makes dry lines that you find funny. Is that one of these things that is funny when you hear them for a couple of hours a day at work, but that would lose their charm if you heard them day in day out for decades?

I was just about to say that. My aunt's husband is a "funny man" but 25 years after they married it's bloody infuriating for her. I find him funny when I go and stay with them for two weeks a year. She has to listen to him 24/7 and the man is completely incapable of having a serious conversation. His humour is a way to deflect from any issues he finds uncomfortable. Not really all that attractive in a long-term partner.
My great uncle also had fantastic dry sense of humour. His wife hated him with passion.
My ex was also very funny. It wore rather thin after a while.

LauritaEvita · 27/08/2026 23:14

Do you fancy your partner?

LooneyLiberalSpaceWaster · 27/08/2026 22:45

I don't have any advice but funny is good. Humour can often get you over life's stresses. My Ex was witty and clever whereas DH is well intentioned but not very funny. He sat through Zombie Nation with a straight face. He rolls around laughing at Billy Connelly. I'm sardonic and dry, Dh is more madcap and literal. He misses any attempt at humour, doesn't understand irony and it can feel lonely because you can't share. He has other qualities, but if I could start again I would go for the bloke who made my laugh.

Fieldmiceears · 27/08/2026 22:44

Its probably a persona. Living with him he wouldnt be like that at all.

I still feel hurt what a miserable bastard DH can be, he has a wicked sense of humour but I rarely get it bestowed at home 2 kids in :( he saves it for colleagues and mates instead and I just get moaning and negativity.

Banoffeemuffin · 27/08/2026 22:22

@DontGoChasinWaterfalls thank you, very wise words and yes actually, I know there are things about me that he might change, I never thought of it that way. I have got lucky for sure.

OP posts:
HumptyDump · 27/08/2026 22:01

LondonMum2026 · 27/08/2026 21:05

My DH does not have a dry sense of humour like me- didn’t notice when we first started dating but years later it’s a big issue for me as kids grow up and we spend more time together again plus menopause kicking in which makes him annoying. I just don’t find him funny.

he does have other endearing qualities, he cooks and helps with everything house wise and kids but not sure if I can go on with someone that doesn’t make me laugh. Sorry not v helpful to you.

This is my thoughts exactly. I’m sorry you’re in this position.

If she is feeling like this 2 years in, you’re her future. I hope you find happiness x

HumptyDump · 27/08/2026 21:59

Traceysgoingtobelivid · 27/08/2026 20:43

And the award for the most stupid advice on mumsnet goes to……..

Really? You think 2 years in she should be feeling like this.

Your bar is too low.

HumptyDump · 27/08/2026 21:56

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 27/08/2026 20:10

Yes, it's so easy to find Mr.Perfect isn't it?

That's why so many women are single including my sister and two of my friends. They were looking for Mr. Perfect and now and are now in their '60s and single.

I’d rather be single than settle tbh

5128gap · 27/08/2026 21:55

Its easy to be funny at work. The bar is low and there's a lot of material to work with.

DontGoChasinWaterfalls · 27/08/2026 21:46

I think you need to be very careful not to romanticise one attractive quality in someone else and compare it with the whole reality of the partner you actually have.

You’ve described a man who is emotionally intelligent, mature, kind, thoughtful, consistent, great with your children, sexually compatible with you, treats you well and who you can still laugh and tease with. That is an incredibly strong relationship foundation, and frankly, a lot of people would give their right arm to find that combination.

Your colleague being naturally hilarious is lovely, but you’re seeing him in a very specific environment where his best quality is on display. You have absolutely no idea what he would be like as a partner at 7am when somebody is ill, when money is tight, when the kids are difficult, when you’ve had an argument, or when life becomes boring and stressful. Being funny does not tell you whether somebody is kind, dependable, emotionally safe or capable of maintaining a healthy relationship.

And it’s worth remembering that your partner probably doesn't think you embody every single quality he could possibly find attractive in another woman either. There may well be women who are funnier than you, calmer than you, more spontaneous than you, more interested in one of his hobbies, or possess some other quality he occasionally wishes you had. That doesn't mean he'd be better off with them.

No partner is going to contain every desirable characteristic that exists in every other person you meet.

So yes, I think YABU if you're genuinely feeling sad that you're “missing out.” You aren't missing out on a better relationship; you've simply encountered someone who possesses one quality your partner doesn't possess to the same degree.

I'd appreciate what you've got rather than allowing an imaginary version of somebody else to compete with a very good man who is actually showing up for you in real life.

Pinkflamingo10 · 27/08/2026 21:28

Have you ever watched the episode of friends about Fun Bobby ?

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 27/08/2026 21:14

SALaw · 27/08/2026 20:51

Or they could be nice, kind and funny?!

And likely to be married!

Illegally18 · 27/08/2026 21:13

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 27/08/2026 20:14

But so many women are looking for Mr. Perfect so I assume that they think that he exists.

What they don't consider is are they Miss Perfect?

Very good point!

HappyToSmile · 27/08/2026 21:09

Personally, sense of humour is majorly important to me in a partner, but the fact that you've been with yours for 2 years before it has raised an issue has got to count for something?
As for the funny bloke at work....step away....

LondonMum2026 · 27/08/2026 21:05

My DH does not have a dry sense of humour like me- didn’t notice when we first started dating but years later it’s a big issue for me as kids grow up and we spend more time together again plus menopause kicking in which makes him annoying. I just don’t find him funny.

he does have other endearing qualities, he cooks and helps with everything house wise and kids but not sure if I can go on with someone that doesn’t make me laugh. Sorry not v helpful to you.

LlynTegid · 27/08/2026 20:56

Humour changes over time but many so-called comedians don't. The fun bloke at work will probably be as dull as Coldplay within a few years, you will have heard all his jokes by then.

Pineapplesonpizza · 27/08/2026 20:53

Long term partner was witty, funny, etc. Constantly. I promise you, it grates hugely after a while and you end up wishing he were just a nice guy with a sense of humour rather than Mr Dry Wit.

SALaw · 27/08/2026 20:51

Banoffeemuffin · 27/08/2026 20:03

I know if I met someone really funny they could have lots of other issues that my current partner doesn't have, addiction , debt , crap in bed etc..

Or they could be nice, kind and funny?!

SuperSugarHigh · 27/08/2026 20:50

I have a colleague who is hilarious. He’s also emotionally immature, has walls up the height of the white cliffs of Dover and uses humour to dodge serious conversations. He would be a terrible husband. Enjoy your colleague’s one liners and appreciate all the wonderful qualities your DP has.

Traceysgoingtobelivid · 27/08/2026 20:43

HumptyDump · 27/08/2026 20:06

Honestly I would leave him and find a funny one. DH is so so funny and we literally laugh all the time. I couldn’t be with one who didn’t make me laugh.

Dont settle.

Edited

And the award for the most stupid advice on mumsnet goes to……..

GhostOrchid · 27/08/2026 20:40

My husband is good humoured and has a good sense of humour but he isn’t a great wit or anything. We laugh and have in jokes but I wouldn’t say he’s the funniest person I know. He is a wonderful man and has many fine qualities. I have friends who make me laugh a lot more (I am funny and make people laugh), including one old male friend from university who absolutely cracks me up (we’ve always cracked each other up) but nothing sexual there at all and he is a bit moody and flaky, unlike my husband who is a very steady eddie. Funny people can also be difficult people.

Ilovemsrachel · 27/08/2026 20:31

I mean, my husband is fuck funny (and also tall and good in bed) but he still does my absolute nut in. He’s also not very well read but had I dumped him when we first met on that basis it would have been a mistake.

Humour does get you through a lot of hard times and is very important in a relationship but it doesn’t sound like your guy is a total corpse in that regard? Also sometimes you’re just not as funny with your partner. I am very funny with my friends but can be a total shrew at home.

sonjadog · 27/08/2026 20:25

For me, someone who I can laugh with is an essential requirement in a partner. However, I notice that you mention he makes dry lines that you find funny. Is that one of these things that is funny when you hear them for a couple of hours a day at work, but that would lose their charm if you heard them day in day out for decades?

Swipe left for the next trending thread