To wish my partner was funnier?

I have male friends I find funnier than my partner. But I don’t ever really compare. I take him as he is and hope he’s doing the same.

Why are you making things up? ‘Sour puss dour pants’ when OP says he’s a good partner and they have a laugh together. And where did ‘time of crisis’ come from?

I understand Op
I had an ex who was naturally so funny, witty, dry humour etc, I love having a laugh and just loved it. He was very intelligent too
My top three traits in a man are probably kindness, humour and intelligence

I have an ex casual boyfriend from a very long time ago who is hilarious and we absolutely click in our mutual humour and bounced off each other which gives you a safe warm feeling. It is a magnet for so many women. However he is also immature,avoidant , depressed behind closed doors and has been a nightmare of a partner to many women. Stick with and value what you have.. sounds great😊

Or more accurately, guessing the height.

Measuring the height of women's bars is endemic on here these days isn't it?

It's such a cliché now, yet posters still seem to think it's an outright winner in the withering put-down stakes.

I have to say, I don't think I'd enjoy being with my husband half as much if he didn't make me laugh daily. He's also a pretty decent cook, which is nice! However, I don't think it does anybody any good to compare who we have at home to those we work with - for all you know, the guy in the office could be a complete bore at home! This could just be his work persona!

For me, I think it would be more important that we found the same things funny eg comedians or TV shows than him being funny per se. I used to laugh all the time with my ex, and he took me on amazing holidays, bought expensive gifts etc but he was lacking in a lot of other ways.

Current DP is very funny (in a weird way!) but a lot more intense and he doesn’t splash the cash. But he’s respectful, kind and would do absolutely anything for me, so I’d take him in a heartbeat over the ex who was an absolute hoot but also a bit of a narc!

Just count your blessings OP, and try not to compare. If you love your DP and he loves you, try to find humour in other ways.

That’s not what OP is saying at all. He doesn’t make her laugh. He doesn’t have wee quips or asides or a way of telling a funny story.

Exactly this. He doesn’t have to be a full blown comedian but has to have some level of wit or banter or whatever about him.

Well my husband is not Mr Perfect but he’s definitely kind and funny. And was single until we met at nearly 30 so lots of people had obviously passed him up!!

Who is? The OP has been with her boyfriend 2 years. No mention of marriage or children?

Everyone thought my ex was funny and great company but at home he was the opposite. He saved his best self for outsiders. Be careful what you wish for….

As long as you get your laughs somewhere does it have to be from your home?

I’m not very funny unfortunately but my husband and his friends are extremely funny so he gets ample banter from the WhatsApp group.

Your bar is too low, like mine is apparently……

I’m not sure even the OP describes him as a “sour puss dour pants”.

Why are you blaming the OP for her husband being a sour puss dour pants? This is supposed to be a site for solidarity amongst women and in a time of crisis you instead try to make an attack on her character. What is wrong with you?

Are you the boring husband is that it?

A good point was made above - is the OP funny? What’s she bringing this laugh riot of a relationship. Why is it only on the man to be funny?

A man who isn't funny is like a man who is less than 6ft, I don't care how 'perfect' you say he is. Why settle for less when there are plenty of better prospects out there?

Well yeah we talk and have a laugh together, same as OP says she does with her DP. But it's rare we sit around cracking up so much you have tears in your eyes, like you would on a night out with a big group of friends, or at the staff xmas party with a hilarious drunk colleague. It's just a different dynamic and that's OK.

I didn't even realise it was a deal breaker for me before I read this today. But perhaps I've always kind of emolyed a natural filter 1. Do I find him physically attractive? 2 . Are we making each other laugh? If no to 1 and 2, it's not gong to get any further really.

That's why so many women are single including my sister and two of my friends. They were looking for Mr. Perfect and now and are now in their '60s and single.

And they're probably still a damn sight happier than the thousands of women on Mumsnet who 'settled' for someone because they wanted to get married and have kids, and are now miserable as fuck and posting threads about their depressing marriages.

Nobody's saying a partner has to be 'Mr Perfect' but if they're very obviously missing a quality that's extremely important to you, that doesn't make for a great relationship.

Personally, I couldn't in a million years have a successful relationship with someone who didn't share my sense of humour. I'd be miserable. It's one of my dealbreakers. It doesn't have to be everyone's though. I'm sure there are things that would be dealbreakers for others that I could do without.

People talk about avoiding "settling" a lot and it's interesting subject.

I think there's balance here - of course there's nothing wrong with people having a few preferences or or deal breakers. However I've also known people who've reeled off about 12-15 "must haves" in a potential partner, and I always thought "well, good luck with that!". They'll never find these people, and even if they did, unless they've won the lottery in the looks and personality stakes yourself, this flawless person isn't going to be interested anyway. None of us are perfect, it's about recognising this and finding someone you love and who makes you happy regardless - rather than settling for second best.

Re the guy from work, I agree with others that you're seeing one side of him and maybe unfairly comparing your partner against that. If you lived with the guy from work it would likely be a totally different story. Your partner sounds like a really good guy.

I'm not sure i could cope with a man who wasn't funny. I need someone i can riff with. I grew up with a very dry, quick wit on one side of the family, where uncles and aunts would bounce off each other, and a more absurd, gentle humour on the other. Humour is a normal and integral part of my life.

I agree with posts saying you don’t really know this guy! He (and others you find funny) may have the 10% that’s missing from your current relationship but may not have anything else. So it would be swapping 90% for 10%. Very funny people often do have a darker side, or alternatively can really fail to take anything seriously.

However I also agree with pp that you’re allowed to have a ‘must have’ list and if humour is on that then fair enough. My husband is funny, a nice balance, he’s not a full on comedian but he’s dry and quick witted and makes me laugh everyday. It’s often how we get through the tougher days. I couldn’t do without that personally!