To wish my partner was funnier?

Sorry, but humour is #1 on my list. I love telling my husband a funny story and watching him react....i also love the classic lines he comes out with and we are in stitches, together and with company.

He has other great qualities too, but it was the humour that drew me in, turned me on and has kept us together through children, illness, bereavement and ageing parents. Life is cruel and unpredictable and unfair, and humour is sometimes the only light.

But my friends are very funny, I am quick witted and peripheral friends have said it's Iike a fringe show when a lot of us are together, so it depends on your personality and priorities. I could never have married someone that didn't make me laugh.

Our kids are now teens and we have an amazing time together just sparking off each other when we are all on form.

Yeah, id never be with anyone I couldnt laugh with. It's life blood to me.

It’s hard if you haven’t got a similar sense of humour. That’s one thing which is very important ti me. Your partner does sound great in all other ways though.

My DH is incredibly funny. Very quick witted and he makes me laugh more than anyone I’ve ever met. Fortunately, he’s got all the other stuff you’d want in a good relationship too. The man I dated before him was very sweet, but it was that man who made me realise that I needed to be with someone I could laugh with.

Once you start comparing your partner to other men, you’re playing with fire.

You sound exhausting

I think everyone’s looking for the perfect man - rich and successful, but free to spend lots of time time as a family, a beast in the bedroom, good looking, kind, hilarious, certain height, charismatic etc. But there are always gonna be trade offs.

However if sense of humour is of number 1 important to you and you haven’t had kids yet …

My husband is pretty funny and so am I so we’re all good in that department but I’ve worked with guys who are hilarious and I love that but it’s also very difficult to have a serious conversation with them often, there’s a lot of sarcasm and I think they would drive me mad living with them

I love the fact that my partner is quick witted and we often naturally fall into having a bit of a joke-off. We laugh a lot, and we just wouldn’t be together if we didn’t have this fun.

In your case it doesn’t sound like you’re considering ending the relationship imminently because he’s not making you laugh, but it seems like the lack of jokes in the relationship could potentially become an issue at some point. You’ll have to decide if all the other great things trump him being funny. In the meantime as others have said, I think watching comedy together is good - it’s fun to have a laugh together like that too!

Think hard about this OP.

I wonder how you'd feel if he was comparing you to another woman.

I have this exact situation but op I married him! Sometimes I wish laughter featured more in the.marriage and sometimes the other aspects make up for it (just being honest). The very funny men I have happened to meet along the way wouldn't have made good partners and tended to be the player types who knew they could laugh a woman into bed but maybe that was just my experience. I do miss laughing though luckily my kids are funny xx

Humour on my personal level is the only guaranteed way to get me naked win my heart and mind and will carry me far through the shittiness in life. Money, stability and having things in common helps of course, but not sharing the same sense of humour is like speaking a totally different language to me.

Also, humour doesn't have to be about jokes, slapstick and just being a clowning fanny during serious moments all of the time , for me it's about turns of phrase and just stone cold wit. The humour has to be intelligent not the Lee Evans kind.

It really depends on how important it is to you. I’ve had partners that are all the things you mention (kind, attractive etc) but our sense of humour hasn’t been compatible. My DH has all the lovely positive attributes PLUS we’re on the same page humour-wise, and we laugh together so much.
It’s hugely important IMO.

It gets you through the tough times.

Me too. Humour wins the day and heart! Me and my partner laugh so much every day, and I love it. Can't imagine not being with someone who you didn't find funny.

I would never repeat anything that I was told in confidence to anyone, including my husband. If someone trusts me enough to share something personal, I respect that trust and keep it to myself. I honestly can’t believe how many people think it’s okay to share their friends’ private business with their partners — it’s not.

This is such a good point. Many people use humour to deflect. The grass often seems greener but if you found a really funny bloke, he'd probably be deficient in areas that your partner isn't. If you feel loved and supported by him and can have a laugh with your friends you've got all bases covered.

You would soon get bored at the constant jokey banter. Not to mention how many times you had to listen to the same jokes in front of different friends.

I would tell my ex all the time that he should've been a standup comedian. He was constantly making jokes/being funny. However, he never laughed at my jokes, but always laughed at me and made jokes about me. He had more of a slapstick type of humor when I prefer more witty/sarcastic type of humor. He had to be the "class clown" which gets old after a while. He was also missing a sympathy/empathy chip and could be very mean and cruel.

I realized that my best relationship was with someone who had a similar sense of humor as myself, where we laughed but it didn't have to be constantly bantering and laughing all the time. Now I stay away from any man that is too funny, always cutting up, it's just too much for me.

I think its important that you have the same sense of humour and laugh together rather than being entertained by someone.
My ex could be right miserable except when it suited him to laugh at his own jokes. I suspect that he was a right joker at work and with his friends. If they'd had seen him at home, they wouldn't have recognised him. It took too much effort to put on a front at work to then be able to make the effort at home.

Fucking Hell, get a grip! 😂

One of the best pieces of advice I've been given is dont create problems where there are none. You're happy, you have a good man so don't overthink it.

A shared sense of humour and finding the same little absurdities funny is way more important than someone actively being a comedian in their own right. (People constantly trying to be funny, even the best ones, can be exhausting after a while. The ones who do it but aren't actually funny are intolerable.)

I know plenty of men who make me laugh but I can't say it's ever made me more attracted to them. And whoever said that funny people often use humour to deflect from intimacy or serious conversations is right - I know because I do it myself a lot.

Where did you get this description of the guy from. The orginal poster stated that they laugh together, but the bloke at work is good with the ‘one liners’

Oh do come on OP 🙄 By your own admission, your partner is a lovely guy and a good lover and your winging because he isn’t performing one liners 🤷‍♀️ This here is a case of ‘he deserves better’.

I do get it, but people can hide behind humour, and not actually be that nice.

Personally I would stick with him and possibly try to draw it out of him over time.