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Original poster

AIBU to laugh at what makes a marriage seem alright?

63 replies

FlamingoFloss · 27/08/2026 17:19

So, on the train. There are 3 men sat next to me having full on conversations (mostly about football). Particular conversation:
’nah, my marriage isn’t great but she comes and picks me up from the train when I need it so..y’know, it’s ok’

Mate: ’yeah, she’s alright then. Not that bad’

seriously?! An ‘alright’ marriage is based upon the fact the wife will pick him up when he needs a lift?

Anyway, this did make me laugh a bit and then I thought, what are the things that make you think your marriage/partnership is ‘alright’?

OP posts:
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Summerlovingtheraspberries · 29/08/2026 22:06

Dh does all the cooking. I love it!

parkezvous · 29/08/2026 20:53

He makes me tea in bed every morning, gets up early with the dog and feeds her and empties the dishwasher. Every day.

Everydayimhuffling · 29/08/2026 20:45

@SnowFrogJelly I can cook, but I hate it so I'm very grateful that DP does it whenever he's available. That's what I tell him I keep him around for. Really, though, it's what a PP said: he's always on my team. He's me comrade against all the challenges and nonsense and frustration of parenting and being in the world.

NovemberMorn · 29/08/2026 19:41

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · 29/08/2026 19:34

I do think it’s little things. My dh of 25 years messaged me earlier when I was out with the dog and it had started raining heavily and said do u want a lift and came and got us.
I bought him some biscuits he likes in supermarket this evening and he’s happily eating them.
We don’t go in for big displays of affection and fancy celebrations but we both do look out for each other in small ways.

I love that....I agree, it's the little everyday things that are the most thoughtful and appreciated.

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · 29/08/2026 19:34

I do think it’s little things. My dh of 25 years messaged me earlier when I was out with the dog and it had started raining heavily and said do u want a lift and came and got us.
I bought him some biscuits he likes in supermarket this evening and he’s happily eating them.
We don’t go in for big displays of affection and fancy celebrations but we both do look out for each other in small ways.

ChocolateApples · 29/08/2026 19:27

Tiredbean · 27/08/2026 17:38

He makes dinner most nights. I’d live on crisps and toast otherwise.

This is terribly controlling. Why is he in charge of what you eat? LTB immediately!

NovemberMorn · 29/08/2026 19:24

UniquePinkSwan · 29/08/2026 16:02

My DH will do absolutely anything for me. Anything. That’s how I know I have a good marriage.

I would hate to be married to someone who would do "absolutely anything" for me. I would think he was a bit of a lapdog.

UniquePinkSwan · 29/08/2026 16:02

My DH will do absolutely anything for me. Anything. That’s how I know I have a good marriage.

Summerlovingtheraspberries · 29/08/2026 15:39

I think that sounds sweet. It shows she cares for him and he appreciates her.

Thepeopleversuswork · 29/08/2026 15:25

The bar is pitifully low on what makes a good marriage for most people tbh.

Curlygirl06 · 29/08/2026 15:11

SnowFrogJelly · 28/08/2026 23:58

Don’t get people who can only make toast

cooking is easy

Show quote history

Oh I can cook, just don't want to when I'm on my own.

NovemberMorn · 29/08/2026 12:29

Minasama · 28/08/2026 23:06

that sounds disgusting! I’d not want anyone touching my feet and certainly wouldn’t be touching theirs! (I trust he washes his hands 😀!)

Show quote history

Don't knock it till you have tried it.😋
It can be very comforting, even sensual; it has to be a firm rub though, no tickling obviously.

I could not do it to him, I hate touching other people's feet, but I do other stuff, so it works out fair in the end.

frozendaisy · 29/08/2026 01:46

We take each other’s socks off on the sofa
so yeah it’s alright

MoodyMargaret11 · 29/08/2026 01:34

Mine will offer to drive me to a train station 1 hr + away, just so I dont have to drive to my hobby destination (anxiety related).

And wouldn't kick me out of bed for farting - his words 😂

SnowFrogJelly · 28/08/2026 23:58

Curlygirl06 · 28/08/2026 22:56

@Tiredbean are you married to my dh? Mine goes away a lot, and when he does me and the toaster have a very special relationship. If I'm feeling fancy, I'll have a Pot Noodle, with toast, obvs!

Show quote history

Don’t get people who can only make toast

cooking is easy

SnowFrogJelly · 28/08/2026 23:56

Minasama · 28/08/2026 23:06

that sounds disgusting! I’d not want anyone touching my feet and certainly wouldn’t be touching theirs! (I trust he washes his hands 😀!)

Show quote history

Omg how is a foot rub disgusting

try it you might actually enjoy it

Harry12345 · 28/08/2026 23:47

Minasama · 28/08/2026 23:06

that sounds disgusting! I’d not want anyone touching my feet and certainly wouldn’t be touching theirs! (I trust he washes his hands 😀!)

Show quote history

I hate feet and hate oeople touching mine but it’s hardly disgusting, it’s very common to have a foot rub

Minasama · 28/08/2026 23:06

NovemberMorn · 27/08/2026 17:42

I have the ugliest feet, but he will rub and massage them for ages when we are watching TV.

that sounds disgusting! I’d not want anyone touching my feet and certainly wouldn’t be touching theirs! (I trust he washes his hands 😀!)

Minasama · 28/08/2026 23:04

It’s having someone to talk to and laugh with about all sorts of things who you can be yourself with, drink cups of tea with and do fun things with.

Minasama · 28/08/2026 23:00

DeftGoldHedgehog · 27/08/2026 17:34

The best thing is that we are completely at ease with one another. It's not hard work.

Yes, this.,

Curlygirl06 · 28/08/2026 22:56

Tiredbean · 27/08/2026 17:38

He makes dinner most nights. I’d live on crisps and toast otherwise.

@Tiredbean are you married to my dh? Mine goes away a lot, and when he does me and the toaster have a very special relationship. If I'm feeling fancy, I'll have a Pot Noodle, with toast, obvs!

Pistachiocake · 28/08/2026 22:34

When you're 40, your hero is the man who will run to help you at the shop because you forgot your card or lost your keys.

user293948849167 · 28/08/2026 22:27

My DH always tops up my windscreen wash when he does his

LizzieW1969 · 28/08/2026 22:08

GenEx · 27/08/2026 17:27

Ha ha - do share any more of their wisdom!

For me: A cup of tea in bed in the morning

Yes, that’s my DH and me as well. He always brings me a cup of tea first thing in the morning.

That and the fact that he loves one of my cats a lot, despite not having been a cat person before he met me. 🙂

ColdWaterDipper · 28/08/2026 21:56

My DH infuriates me regularly, but he has the knack of leaping nimbly up into the main attic which I am too afraid to do, and he often hangs the washing out / empties the dishwasher while I’m at work (he works from home) which are both jobs I hate, so I let him stay 🤣 he also doesn’t complain (much) about extra horses being added to my collection which is a big plus.

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