How to deal with people who have these views

I'd just forge my own path and let it wash over me. They're probably jealous of your independence hence the digs. I feel a bit sorry for people who need to follow the crowd or keep up with the Joneses / latest 'in' trends. It's how people get into financial trouble etc too. It's always good to question and ask whether XYZ will really make you happy.

I think it’s a lack of imagination, and in some cases a lack of intelligence, worldliness, or both.

Did the smirking person actually go to university themselves? Anyone with experience of a graduate career path would surely know you often end up in an unrelated field.

My ILs comment negatively on everything, in a similarly invasive way. I think it’s partly they have one idea of how people should be/live (like them) and they want to bring us down ‘a peg or two’. It’s very wearing and I no longer get into a debate on anything. I just say versions of ‘it works for us’ or ‘we all value different things’, But it’s impossible to have a relationship beyond that really, as everything comes down to them making an assessment, or negating a perfectly neutral choice that doesn’t affect them 🤷‍♀️

No matter what you do, there will always be those who feel threatened by you and your choices and feel they have to establish superiority. Those people are dicks and need avoiding.

Yep, this is me and always has been.

It's called being independent, having your own mind and not following what everyone else does. I wouldn't care to be any other way.

Went to wedding a couple of months ago and the guy on our table said he studied music at x uni so my DH said oh Sartre did her undergrad there! He asked what I studied so I said English Lit and he very smugly said (with a smirk) “how’s that working out for you then”. I said very well, I have a PhD and now lecture at Manchester. It transpired he didn’t even finish his degree after all that and now works in sales. I felt vindicated.

I had a very non traditional wedding and no one said anything like what you are describing. Guests came and celebrated, or declined the invitation, and that was that.

People asking questions about why my path in one thing led to another isn’t something that bothers me, I quite like talking about my career journey.

You seem to have either really overbearing friends and family, extreme sensitivity to innocuous comments or a lack of boundaries. Just let the comments wash over you.