colleague has overshared and is now embarrassed

Come off it! She was clearly discussing it with him. How else would she know what he thought? She might have not actually told him (because he had already guessed) but it's clear the intention was there.

Sorry but I don't keep secrets from my husband!!

It's not a secret that could affect your relationship.
Not breaking a confidence does not equate to keeping secrets from your spouse.

If a friend told you she was, for instance, having issues of a gynaecological nature, would you run home and tell your husband? Would you think that was any of his business?
How would it in any way be keeping a secret from your husband?
It smacks to me of having nothing better to talk to him about, so you gossip about your friends.

They were out socially as couples and husband guessed.
Some people are just good at reading others.

But how does OP know what her husband thought if she wasn't discussing her colleague's business with him?

@nearlyemptynes I'm glad you refer to this person as your colleague and don't have the gall to call her your friend.

Where is that written?
Or have you just made that up and decided its fact?

Sorry but I don't keep secrets from my husband!!

Gosh, I hope all your friends know this about you and don't confide in you at all. You would lie?

Well, if the secret is that he's gay, I'm guessing it won't stay a secret much longer, unless he's not planning to start seeing men when they split. You shouldn't have confirmed it, still, but I'm surprised she has the energy to be upset with you when she has something this serious upending her life.

@TheDenimPoet You cannot possibly know that your husband is not sharing things with other people. You only have his word for it. My DH has told me things that a close friend confided to him about - and said they begged him not to tell anyone, but he told me! So DH does blab. As I said, he's a gossip and he loves drama. His friend at work thinks he is trustworthy and true and is confident DH won't blab, but he always tells me EVERYthing. I don't do the same. Not when it's someone else's secret,,,

Never assume your DH won't blab to someone else...

.

I agree.

It’s using a friend’s secret for gossip and entertainment - it might be to a limited audience but that’s what it is.

Well there seems to be an element of gossipy "you'll never guess what work colleague just told me?" Whether he guessed or was actually told, i can't imagine having a conversation with the colleague revealing that the husband had guessed, no wonder she is pissed off, its obvious you've been enjoying picking over her relationship woes (that she should have kept to herself).

If she told you in confidence then you really should not have discussed it with anyone else, not even your husband. When he mentioned that he thought something was amiss you should have shut the conversation down and told h8m you weren’t discussing it! No wonder the work colleagues is annoyed, she has every right to be!

Why would you be pissed off either her? She’s going through a tough time so isn’t at her best.

Yes. People share a lot with me. Partly because of my job in mental health but partly because they know without asking that I won’t go running to my husband or anyone to share their secrets.

What I said! I never tell anyone ANYthing I don't want anyone else to hear.

I disagree. We have been married for almost 30 years and have a very good relationship. But if a good friend asked me to keep something secret, I would not feel the urge to run and tell my husband. Not unless he needed to know. I don’t see the need to automatically share friends’ confidences with my husband. Not at all. Is it really that hard to keep it to yourself?

I think it IS normal to divulge everything to your husband. In the knowledge that it goes no further - and I don't mean in the way you might say it in a friendship group, where you know it'll leak, but I mean it DEFINITELY will go no further.

Me and DP know loads of things about each other's friends. Neither of us have ever blabbed to anyone outside of these 4 walls, and nor would we.

We do not keep secrets from each other, not even other people's secrets, but equally we can keep our mouths shut.

EDIT: If someone asks me not to tell anyone before they tell me something, I'll say but I always tell DP everything, as he does me, and it goes no further, and there has not been one single occasion where anyone has then not told me because of that.

Don't tell a secret unless you are fully prepared for everyone to know it. Once you share it with another person, it becomes information they might pass along.

I am seriously judging the 'I tell my husband everything' posters

Quite. Definitely not the confidences of other people.

Well I always do go through life with the mantra 'don't tell anyone ANYthing you wouldn't want anyone else to hear' but you shouldn't be telling your husband someone else's secret. You say he 'guessed' the problem, but you should not have even said there was a problem...

My DH tells me all the gossip from people from work, and is a right little gossip himself. I never tell him anything my friends tell me, OR my adult DC, because DH can't keep his mouth shut. He just loves gossip and drama.

If he finds out things that I already knew he is like 'why didn't you tell me?' I just say 'not my secret or news to share, it's someone else's.' He thinks because he tells ME everything/everyone's secrets and gossip, that I should tell too. But I don't, and I won't.

As has been said, you don't sound like a good friend @nearlyemptynes and your husband sounds useless, telling her he knew the 'secret!' Did it make him feel special and clever telling her he knew?!

My guess is
the husband is a camp as they come and OP’s DH jump to an obvious conclusion

Because we don't keep secrets from each other. Or lie by omission

Secrets from each other about each other, that would apply to.
Lying on your own account or omitting to tell a dh something about yourself, is what this applies to.

This secret is someone else's and none of his business.

DH recently had similar situation. I guessed. DH would not confirm as did not want to break trust. I agreed with him as I did not want the burden of pretending not to know when we socialised. So I would say YABU.

So this is a thread because you are annoyed because she is annoyed?