colleague has overshared and is now embarrassed

Howard and Hilda….

It comes across as pretty sad.

No, some of us can be trusted not to betray our friends’ confidences.

Yes the OP knew because the colleague confided.

We don't know how the OP's husband knew.

Tbh when a couple is having issues it's usually blindingly obvious the minute you watch them interact.

Precisely why I rarely tell DH anything. And I’d never confide in him or my sister anything even vaguely confidential.

Yes. I think it is a sign of insecurity. If one of you is threatened by the idea that your partner is keeping a friend’s confidence, then it is not a good sign.

Which one of you cheated 😂

I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with someone where we didn’t trust each other so much that we had to tell our friends’ secrets to each other.

If you want to broadcast anything in our family just tell my husband. Secrets just fall out of his mouth. His defence he forgot. He does get snitty if he is left out of the loop. He'll say well I never told anyone about ✖️ completely forgetting that he'd already blabbed it. 😅

He guessed the issue correctly and then OP confirmed.
Lucky guess then I suppose but its still a bit suss how he knew they had problems.

Personally, in the unlikely event my dh was able to identify an issue with a colleague and guess correctly what the problem was I would just make a lightheaded comment, something like 'You may think that but I can not possible comment' or ' There always a drama at our place' and move on and change the subject.

Some people on here are really shit friends. I hope (but doubt) that they at least have the integrity to tell their friends in advance that they can’t be trusted and intend to tell their DHs everything. But I bet they don’t, cos they’d miss out on the gossip then. Awful characters.

I once ended a friendship over this. I had told my friend something deeply personal, and asked her to keep it to herself, to which she agreed. Before anyone asks, it wasn’t something traumatic that she might have needed support with. And in front of me she told her husband. When it looked like she was about to tell him I said “please don’t do this”, even though I knew at that stage it was a fait accompli, but she just laughed and said “sure it’s only DH, who’s he going to tell?” and proceeded to tell him. I walked out of her house there and then and haven’t spoken to her since.

Ok, so he’s gay, that’s the only suggestion that has been made on here.

In that case perhaps it was blindingly obvious, so no wonder he guessed.

I thought most people shared things with their dh anyway, and that it’s pretty normal.

And how, exactly, did the OP know this woman and her partner, were 'having issues?'

.

No, that's not what's in the OP's posts (albeit she hasn't provided much info at all).

Colleague confided in her.

Her husband knew colleague and colleague's husband were having issues - OP does not tell us how he knew. Colleague's husband may have told him, someone else may have told him.

He guessed the issue correctly and then OP confirmed.

Yes. I doubt they’re telling their husbands about the size, colour and consistency of their latest shit.

100% agree @saraclara 👏

DH "blimey, Kate's housemate doesn't half look gay"

OP "he does look effeminate doesn't he?Wouldn't be my type"

Sorted. Not breaking a confidence. Not lying

Yep, this. ^

Yep, at the end of each day I'd know any number of things about my colleagues. Jo's dislike of broccoli; Sue's kids struggling at school, Ben had got a nasty rash. But I didn't tell my husband this things because why would I ? I wasn't lying by omission. And if one of the things I was told was a confidence, it also wouldn't involve lying by omission and I'd file it away without even a thought of revealing it to my DH over dinner.

But apparently I'm wrong. Juicy gossip is in a class of its own and not passing it on is 'lying'.
Is it bollocks.

He didn't independently guess at all. She said there was a problem, but didn't say what it was, so he started making guesses, and guessed right. Then he had the temerity and audacity to charge in and tell the OP's friend that he knew her little secret.

I disagree. You cannot possibly know that he won't tell anyone.

The relationship is doomed if the husband is gay. I've seen it in three couples we knew. The husband did a runner with a new lover in every case.

Imagining a lot of DHs just sat there like 😶while their information sharing wife chunners on about Vals blokes awful prostate exam, and how Susan has fell out with her MIL again and Tara has started drinking more than one glass of wine a night 😂😂😂
Remember, no secrets! 😂

Exactly!
But I bet its more like I said on my post, they only share the personal gossip stuff.

If your husband guessed so easily, then she's not hiding it very well. That's something for her to think about. Once he'd figured it out, you could hardly have lied to his face and denied it when you knew it was true.

She shouldn't tell him AT ALL! You're actually suggesting that you she only tells him if he lies about it? And since she will have broken a confidence, how can she expect him to keep one?

This is absolutely ridiculous.

The number of times I've heard "well I only told X and s/he promised to keep it confidential"... Well so did you, and look what you did!

This 😂😂