Friend’s reaction to my pregnancy news

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be annoyed at the person who basically messaged ‘nice, anyway now about me..’ tbf!

I don't think the first friend is that bad. She did send a nice message.

The others are mean.

Massive congratulations BTW.

No, she called out the friends who didn’t comment

Eh, you are annoyed at the one friend who actually commented?

I am delighted for you OP. I know how hard infertility is. Massive congratulations!!!

sorry but this groups of friends are all bellends! Even if they do feel awkward, they could have messaged you separately- they are cunts!

Has your friend been admitted to hospital?
Are your friends just being cautious about going hard on the congratulations after you’ve had so much struggle? When I was pregnant after loss I hated people saying ‘congratulations’ like everything was guaranteed (I’d had a very late loss though so it was different).

It sounds like you called out all your friends rather than the attention grabbing one which probably made them all feel a bit awkward, but I can see why you did it

They are being shite. You deserve to be congratulated. You are not being self absorbed or any other tripe mentioned here.
something like that would get immediate responses from everyone on my group chat- sounds like it would the norm for yours too.

if it was me having the bad day I’d had held off posting. And said something like

‘Lovely congratulations! that’s made my day after a tricky one. But I will tell you all about that later as it’s time to celebrate’ or similar.

I think she gatecrashed your announcement and made it awkward for the others to respond happily.
I don't know if she did it knowingly or if she's simply lacking social grace.

I imagine your message got lost in hers - people may not even have read your as it opened on hers? They may have absorbed her 'congratulations' bit when reading all her problems. She is selfish.

Also massive congratulations. It's huge news.

Your friends should have congratulated you. No excuses, especially knowing that this journey has been so hard for you.

I think that unless you get a slew of apologies and belated congratulations, you should reconsider whether these friends are worth your time and energy, especially now you are entering a new chapter in your life and your free time will now be at a premium.Do not let their indifference and rudeness take any shine off this wonderful news.

Many congratulations

Congratulations!!!

As someone who has been through IVF and was also quite open about our journey, I would have been upset if my friends had reacted in this way when I finally announced I was pregnant.

Enjoy your pregnancy (I wish I had worried less throughout mine) and all the best for your precious baby’s arrival x

just saw that you have followed up by calling them out :/.

OP do all your other friends have kids?

Maybe one or more of them is also struggling and your preg announcement has also brought up stuff for them? Maybe that's why people don't want to fawn about it in a group chat...

Congratulations @sarahjane7777 - this stranger has everything crossed 🤞🏻 for you x

Many Congratulations. Wonderful news and little boys are so loving. Put another post on saying thanks to everyone who congratulated you, especially as its been such a long time wanting a baby. They will know if they did or didn't. Hope you have a wonderfully smooth pregnancy and birth.

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

I'm going to go against the grain and say that you are really focusing on the wrong stuff here. You don't need your friends to validate your pregnancy for you- just be happy for yourself that after such a difficult time you're growing that baby you so longed for ❤️. Many people struggling with infertility or involuntary childlessness will never get to that point.

Pregnancy announcements can be difficult for people for all kinds of reasons. You never know what is going on for someone else.
In my experience the only people who are typically that invested / joyful about pregnancy announcements are the parents to be and grandparents. Sometimes wider family. You don't need anyone else. Just be happy for yourself and enjoy your preg

xx

She’s the only one to respond to the ops pregnancy. Even when called out. The rest have not.

Congratulations!

As regards the friend, I think it deoends on what the hospital admision was about.If it was something really serious or life-threatening, then I can understand her reaction and that of the others. If she's just someone who turns everything into an opportunity for a woe-is-me whinge, then it's annoying.

She's not a great friend is she?!! Nor are the others who didn't even respond. Perhaps you'll meet some new, less self-centred friends as a new mum!

Anyway, congratulations, awesome news :-)

This is weird. I kind of get your look-at-me friend who congratulated you and then made it about herself (we all know one of those! 😂) But I don't understand the others who haven't commented at all other than the heart emoji when you called them out. That is BIZARRE! Surely there must be some wild back story here? If not, I'm terribly sorry OP but your friends are absolutely crap! Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope everything goes brilliantly for you. 💕

The only time I’ve seen this was a friend who announced her pregnancy but had previously completely ignored lots of other friends pregnancies (and births) due to fertility issues of her own. She got a muted reception from the people she’d backed off from.

It would NOT have been hard for them to respind by congratulating you and then also sending well wishes to LittleMissMeMeMe.

I'm in lots of busy group chats and often reply to two or three people when i come back to it.

Do any of the others have kids yet? If they do, how did you navigate news of their pregnancies?

I don’t really understand the ‘it’s not a priority or as exciting to other people’ angle. If a stranger I didn’t know from Adam told me they were pregnant I would say congratulations, there’s no excuse for not doing so.

But they didn’t did they, because even when the op called it out they didn’t congratulate her, so this is nothing to do with the First Lady

Is there a backstory here like you've dominated the group chat the last few years with your baby/fertility journey and they've got a bit fed up? It's easy to become self absorbed with stuff like that, and the way you've described their reaction I immediately pictured people who are a bit sick of hearing about it! But if not, then they aren't great friends.

Does everyone else have children?