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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To worry about all this sick leave

28 replies

Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 13:17

Started new job in Feb. 6 weeks in caught a stomach bug both ends so had to stay off for 2 days.
I then had a procedure at the hospital for a gynae issue in July, they said I’d be fine to go in after but I booked the whole day as AL in case of delays etc. I ended up having complications so needed the following two days off and another trip to the hospital - work agreed to let me use these days as AL too.
It’s my first period since the procedure and I completely flooded through my trousers at work yesterday so had to go home, I’ve taken today off too because it’s still heavy and I feel dizzy when I walk around, and also so I can go to the gp.
That’s three times in just over six months. When I whatsapped my manager this morning to let her know I wouldn’t be in today she’s read it and not replied so I’m shitting myself now.
I was at my last job for four years and I think I had one or maybe two absences in that time but this just feels like a string of bad luck that I’ve been unable to help!

OP posts:
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AirborneElephant · 28/08/2026 11:32

Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 18:38

Yeah I’m hoping they’re being like this because my performance is good and I go in early etc so that’s outweighing the bad! I hate people who drag themselves into work and make everybody else sick but I’m afraid that will definitely be me for the next 12 months because I can’t afford to lose a job.

Yeah, if you can’t WFH I’m afraid that if you can drag yourself in you probably do need to don a mask, stock up on pills and battle through at least until you have a year or so goodwill. I’m glad your boss is being ok so far. Do remember you can’t be forced into taking AL - if you want to because of the money fine but it is ok to use some sick leave.

pondplants · 27/08/2026 18:52

ExpectMore · 27/08/2026 18:19

Even a semi-decent employer should be ok with this. If they’re not, at least you’re finding out their true colours so know to move on before wasting too much time with them

I agree with this - I find Mumsnet bafflingly puritanical about sick leave. Its seems like OP has currently only taken 3 days sick since February because she used annual leave for a recognised medical issue? This is not an issue.

Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 18:38

MidsummerMadness91 · 27/08/2026 18:34

Sounds like they're being really good about it, Especially offering you holiday rather than counting it as sick. If I was in your position I'd go out of my way a bit to show flexibility now for a bit. If someone needs to stay late, be the first to volunteer etc. Just to show you're not a piss taker and you recognise good will flows both ways.

Yeah I’m hoping they’re being like this because my performance is good and I go in early etc so that’s outweighing the bad! I hate people who drag themselves into work and make everybody else sick but I’m afraid that will definitely be me for the next 12 months because I can’t afford to lose a job.

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MidsummerMadness91 · 27/08/2026 18:34

Sounds like they're being really good about it, Especially offering you holiday rather than counting it as sick. If I was in your position I'd go out of my way a bit to show flexibility now for a bit. If someone needs to stay late, be the first to volunteer etc. Just to show you're not a piss taker and you recognise good will flows both ways.

ExpectMore · 27/08/2026 18:19

Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 13:17

Started new job in Feb. 6 weeks in caught a stomach bug both ends so had to stay off for 2 days.
I then had a procedure at the hospital for a gynae issue in July, they said I’d be fine to go in after but I booked the whole day as AL in case of delays etc. I ended up having complications so needed the following two days off and another trip to the hospital - work agreed to let me use these days as AL too.
It’s my first period since the procedure and I completely flooded through my trousers at work yesterday so had to go home, I’ve taken today off too because it’s still heavy and I feel dizzy when I walk around, and also so I can go to the gp.
That’s three times in just over six months. When I whatsapped my manager this morning to let her know I wouldn’t be in today she’s read it and not replied so I’m shitting myself now.
I was at my last job for four years and I think I had one or maybe two absences in that time but this just feels like a string of bad luck that I’ve been unable to help!

Even a semi-decent employer should be ok with this. If they’re not, at least you’re finding out their true colours so know to move on before wasting too much time with them

Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 18:09

Also, I’ve just looked back at half of my posts and they’re written terribly - apologies! Think I’m just wiped

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Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 18:08

My manager has just replied apologising profusely, saying she had written a reply and thought she’d sent it but hadn’t which was made me feel so relieved.
She has suggested I take tomorrow morning as a medical appointment and the afternoon as a half day holiday which seems like a good idea.
I might have to don a mask during my commute over winter as I can not afford another instance of sickness!

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DandelionClockSeeds · 27/08/2026 18:01

Depends on how well they track the AL as sick!

2 absences (of 2 days each, if i read it right) in 6 months isnt great, but isnt likely to be cause for great concern.
3 absences totaling 6 or 7 days is likely to start some warning signs if they use any form of monitoring.

I guess it just depends on what happens over the next 6 months - certainly our monitoring is over 12 months, not 6.

Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 18:00

The other thing that’s worrying me is that I haven’t a feeling this is going to turn into a couple of referrals so will need to take time for appointments etc.
Also because it’s period related what if this isn’t sorted and happens next month too I’m going to end up out of a job aren’t I.

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UrbanFan · 27/08/2026 17:58

I'm pretty sure they will be discussing it. Maybe you need to have a conversation with them about it. After all you can't help being sick but at the same time they have a business to run.

Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 17:56

UrbanFan · 27/08/2026 17:52

Do you have return to work interviews after sick leave? You can't help being sick but i don't suppose they will be happy about it. Have you been able to WFH during sickness periods?
If its a small company missing staff can have a big impact.

I didn’t have a return to work last time, it’s a small business that doesn’t have a lot of the standard policies/or has them but doesn’t really follow through.
They have a policy of no wfh during probation, so it isn’t something I’ve pushed for.
The only kind of blessing is that we have an extra head at the moment who is leaving in two weeks and so there’s a lot of spare capacity in the team at the moment. I generally only have around 3 hours work per day to complete so I know it will be covered by that person.
I’m starting to get really worried, my attendance at other jobs has always been really good so I haven’t dealt with anything like this before.

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UrbanFan · 27/08/2026 17:52

Do you have return to work interviews after sick leave? You can't help being sick but i don't suppose they will be happy about it. Have you been able to WFH during sickness periods?
If its a small company missing staff can have a big impact.

Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 17:50

I had a GP appointment and he has referred me for urgent bloods in the morning so I’ve sent her another WhatsApp updating her and again reiterating that if she wants a call about all of this then to let me know

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Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 17:49

Lexy2345 · 27/08/2026 17:25

Are you still on probation? Why did you send a WhatsApp message rather than a phone call?

My contracted 6 month probation end date has passee but I haven’t had any meeting to say I’ve passed so I’m not sure. It’s a small business and not a lot of standard HR processes in place.

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Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 17:47

millymollymoomoo · 27/08/2026 17:09

I would argue that it is a lot of sick leave regardless of sector ! Eg I was at my last company 11 years and had 5 days sick ( very fortunate I know !)

have you offered any flexibility ? Ie to make up time or catch up on work or ?

I wouldnt WhatsApp either / you should be calling

It’s a small business with no HR and I’m the first one in in the morning apart from the MD. Our policy is to call your line manager and let them know, but as I’m wanting to let her know at least an hour before I start I don’t want to call her at 7am when she starts at 9 so i whatsapped letting her know and asked if there’s a time that’s good for her for us to have a call if needed. Been left on read.

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AllyOhly · 27/08/2026 17:28

Where I work an HR conversation is triggered based on a calculation of either total days or separate incidents of sickness.

If your illnesses are a continuation of a previous period of illness I would make sure your manager and Hr are aware as it may help.

Lexy2345 · 27/08/2026 17:25

Are you still on probation? Why did you send a WhatsApp message rather than a phone call?

SewYellowLikeButter · 27/08/2026 17:11

millymollymoomoo · 27/08/2026 17:09

I would argue that it is a lot of sick leave regardless of sector ! Eg I was at my last company 11 years and had 5 days sick ( very fortunate I know !)

have you offered any flexibility ? Ie to make up time or catch up on work or ?

I wouldnt WhatsApp either / you should be calling

It’s not a lot of sick leave in the days when we actively don’t want infectious people to push through and make the entire staff sick along with them.

SewYellowLikeButter · 27/08/2026 17:10

You’re fine. DH has been off work for 8 months and they haven’t fired him yet. You have real reasons and can just explain that it’s an unfortunate run of events.

millymollymoomoo · 27/08/2026 17:09

I would argue that it is a lot of sick leave regardless of sector ! Eg I was at my last company 11 years and had 5 days sick ( very fortunate I know !)

have you offered any flexibility ? Ie to make up time or catch up on work or ?

I wouldnt WhatsApp either / you should be calling

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 27/08/2026 17:09

Honestly, as an employer, I would not be overly worried about this level of sickness given the reasons. You don't sound like a pisstaker to me at all, just unlucky to have had a run of poor health quite soon after starting a new job.

We do monitor sickness absence and I might be concerned if you continued to stay off sick at this rate on an ongoing basis. But I wouldn't be concerned right now.

aliasfrog · 27/08/2026 17:04

SinisterGreenMan · 27/08/2026 16:58

It's a lot of sick leave, even for the public sector.

I only meant usually with public sector jobs it's harder for them to fire you for whatever reason.

SinisterGreenMan · 27/08/2026 16:58

aliasfrog · 27/08/2026 15:17

Stop worrying, that is a normal amount of sick leave. Are you public sector? I have had months off with long covid and nothing happened.

It's a lot of sick leave, even for the public sector.

SinisterGreenMan · 27/08/2026 16:56

Isthismykarma · 27/08/2026 13:28

I was hoping they can’t use the second one against me as they approved it as AL, but I suppose I was still letting them down last minute ffs

That's unfortunate, but four periods of sickness in such a short period of time is a lot.

The one you took as annual leave can't count as sickness, but as you have acknowledged, it's still an occasion when you let them down.

However genuine the reasons, your frequent absences will be affecting your manager, colleagues and the business.

Have you been confirmed in post yet? If not, your manager will probably want to extend your probation, during which time you will have the opportunity to show that you can be reliable.

Loulou4022 · 27/08/2026 15:23

If the second time for the procedure you used annual leave that shouldn’t be recorded as a sickness absence. However this absence puts you up to 2 now. I work for the local authority and we would be on a stage 1 for 3 absences or 10 days within a 12 month period. You’d need to find your companies sickness policy and at what point they would escalate things.