Maintenance and extra's

There is a reason she receives PIP.

I noticed how the OP very casually mentioned it as if it didn’t matter….

Nowhere as clear as the OP started really

Like a lot of single parents Tbf.

Thos doesn’t change the CMS calculations

If you are so sure that you don’t need to pay these “extras”, then I would advise the mother to simply keep anything she purchases for the exclusive use during her parenting time. You can provide what is needed during your time.

How can you manage to do appointments? Do overnight stays over half the week? Whilst working full time as well?

Hang on, hang on. She has a partner who cares for her? What??

I’m going to guess there.
If she is receiving PIP, that’s for HERSELF. That also means she is disabled which might explain why the OP needs to do as much as he says.

So you mean you’re still a parent?
Im sure your dcs considered that a minimum but 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Just why???? Is she useless or what? Why doesn't she do some?

Personally I think if you have the kids 45% of the time and do most admin, you’re doing loads. Paying £350 a month child maintenance when you still have to clothe, feed and house them all almost half of the time seems very reasonable. Your ex will receive UC which includes help towards rent, Child DLA plus of course the CB, so yeah I do think you paying 50:50 of everything sucks if in reality she has a lot more spare money. However, school uniforms are something you really do only have to buy for a few more years (last year for the 15 year old and only two more years for the 13 year old twins), so I would probably just cope with the costs for a few more years (but let your ex know you’re on a budget for them and what that is if she’s buying the uniform then asking you for half the cost). The same with trips, there really shouldn’t be many in year 9-11 but if there are you both need to agree on the budget for these things and if you can’t afford big overseas trips or whatever then either the kids don’t go or you ex can pay because she can afford it.

Of course it works both ways. You are also not giving much money to your 3 children either. What does your ex wife say she needs? What do you need to pay all your way plus your living expenses plus food. You are not expected to have much of a social life as is she.
Sit down with her to work it out - you wont get much from here

PS You ARE paying the minimum. You said that in your first post

It’s certainly a grey area as to what maintenance should cover and I guess it’s between parents to decide.

I do think she’s a little foolish though to rely on it to top up her household income as it will end at some point.

I hope you are able to get resolution and I’m sorry if my previous comment about moving to 50/50 was snappy.

oh if she lives with someone her money would reduce by their income quite significantly so she may not actually get as much as you think. Who knows but either way I think 50/50 and no maintenance seems to be the best option

These figures are based on:
Single person aged 25+: £424.90
3 children: £303.94 each = £911.82
Disabled child lower addition: £164.79 OR
Disabled child higher addition: £514.71
Carer's element: £209.34

not including rent from universal credit alone she would get £1710.85 and £2060.77

she will also get:
£350 child maintenance
£272.35 child benefit every 4 weeks
DLA anything from £121.20 - £778.40 every 4 weeks
Pip is £306.80 - £778.40 every 4 weeks

assuming the lowest possible income she gets a total of: £2761.20 per month to pay for her bills her kids herself her food and on top of that rent and council tax will be paid for.

I think having your children only 55% of the time also them being in school full time and recieving almost £3k a month at a minimum and not having to pay rent.. well she's doing alright TBF.

The maintenance pays for all sorts of things including food but also clothes, haircuts, etc.

If you have them 45% of the time do you buy separate clothes for them there or does it work out roughly the same over the year?

I’m not trying to catch you out I’m just wondering what are the extras your paying for?

In our case uniform is split because they’ll use it at both houses. Glasses and contacts the same. I tend to buy clothes just because I’m more available than my ex to take them to the shops / trawl through vinted.

If something is used at both homes we tend to split it up to a certain cost and then we would have a discussion about it. For example DS has tutoring once a week but we discussed that between us before committing to it as we would view it as a joint cost.

Would your ex be open to a conversation about money and what exactly you’ll pay half of?

I think you need to explain to her the financial struggle you’re under and If she’ll discuss the extras/the children’s outgoings when she has them, you can come up with something that means you can afford to live and she also has enough to do the things she needs to do for them whilst she is has them.
If she isn’t working because of the children perhaps offering a set pattern of contact/an extra evening with you would enable her to look at returning to work?

Why do you do the vast majority of appointments if you both have them in the week? What appointments are you really talking about here?

You picked up on the labor aspect of my post, not the expense aspect. Maintenance offsets expenses for the extra time. You are supposed to cover the costs while under your care.

Presumably with 45%, the children need uniforms and other things while under your care. That means you need to buy uniforms to keep in your home. if your ex buys them for you, you need to reimburse her.