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AIBU?

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AIBU to feel awkward accepting my SIL's lift to hospital? - I'm not used to kindness!

29 replies

pontipinemum · 27/08/2026 12:45

My SIL (husbands sister) has very kindly offered to drive me to the hospital the day I am having a non cancerous breast lump removed.

I had said I would take the bus, it's about 1.5hr bus trip. DH was then going to collect me after as it is just a day surgery but I will have been under general and won't be driving! We have 2 very young DSs who he needs to take to nursery.

SIL has said no, she will take me, then WFH in the canteen at the hospital. Or do some 'bits' in the city.

I am not used to people being kind to me like this. This lump developed when DS2 was 4 days old, and I was seen immediately. My own 'DM' was hardly interested. Didn't offer to help in any way. I told her, we spoke about it for approx 1 minute, then it was back to her big problems of the day. We have an immensely fractured relationship.

I am immensely grateful to her. But also quite uncomfortable, because I am not used to this. I am telling myself though that I need to accept the help, it is something I would do for her/ any of my friends or family.

That like other people I also deserve kindness. But I still have this underlying feeling that I am putting her out, and that I shouldn't take up her time like this.

YABU - She offered, she wants to do this
YANBU - all manor of awful things I could say about why I do not deserve the lift

OP posts:
TFImBackIn · 27/08/2026 12:49

Why shouldn't you accept gracefully? She knows it'll be a difficult and long journey for you on your own. Wouldn't you offer to help her in the same circumstances?

It sounds as though your mother has taught you never to accept kindness. I'd be steering clear of that one.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 27/08/2026 12:49

You are over thinking this, ' Thank you that would be most useful ' - and she is helping out her brother too due to him needing to collect the children from nursery etc.

Octavia64 · 27/08/2026 12:47

Love, you are going in for an op.

i’d give a lift to anyone in these circs.

Velumental · 27/08/2026 12:46

Let her take you, it's ok to accept kindness, you matter.