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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? DH and family holiday

333 replies

Mrshermitt · 27/08/2026 11:41

FIL birthday this year and theyve planned a family holiday abroad but it’s 1.5k each and at Christmas time. I am unwell so I can’t go anyway and we can’t afford to spend money like that now I’m not working. We have 3 kids so looking at 7.5k for all of us.

DH desperately wants to go and I’ve just said go because I’m sick of hearing about it. I can barely manage taking care of myself some days but somehow I have to figure out with the kids.He’s going for 7 days and coming back on Boxing Day.

Can I ask would your husband do to this to you and your family or even consider it? Especially at that time of the year too?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrshermitt · 27/08/2026 11:51

Thanks this is all I needed as I thought I was going crazy. I’m so sick of hearing about this holiday.

OP posts:
StressedOutPeanut · 27/08/2026 11:48

So he's fucking off for a hoilday over christmas while his 3 kids and unwell wife stay at home? Thats grounds for divorce.

FookFookFook · 27/08/2026 11:48

I think it depends on your illness sorry. Time with parents is precious too. They aren’t around forever. If you are seriously ill my answer would be different.

WildLeader · 27/08/2026 11:47

In sickness and in health love.

he needs to say he can’t go and tbh, your in-laws are being insensitive to even suggest it knowing you’re (a) unwell and (b) taking a massive financial hit due to being out of work.

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 27/08/2026 11:46

I don't think my DH would miss Christmas with his DC unless this was really a special one off or there's some back story (likely to be FIL's last Christmas etc)

Lengokengo · 27/08/2026 11:44

I am sorry this has happened. No my DH wouldn’t dream of doing this.

How old are your children? Do ILs understand that you (and kids) can’t go? My ILs would arrange something that everyone could attend and nobody need pay for!

user1492809438 · 27/08/2026 11:44

No. But he is a good man who puts his children and me first.

Sparrowsandbudgies · 27/08/2026 11:44

Not a way in hell my dh would go. But then we aren’t close to our families at all - dh is non contact with all of his and mine are all dead (!) but even so if I was unwell and we couldn’t afford it dh wouldn’t even be considering going.