AIBU to think friend’s question was fair?

They were drinking alcohol at the time, so it comes across as a judgemental and inappropriate question, given the specifics of the situation.

Asking if you go to church is also a bit rude and unnecessarily intrusive IMO. I would wait for someone to volunteer this information if they wanted to. It’s still not as bad as what your friend said though,

Yes, they do. Just go to any country where people overwhelmingly identify as Catholic or Orthodox and ask the same question. People will look at you like you’ve grown another head. They’ll insist they’re practising, even if they only go to church at Christmas and Easter. It’s cultural.

But that isnt the same thing. OP and her friend weren't in a predominantly Muslim area.

@Luluandkirk I think it's odd to state your religion to someone.

Ad extremely odd to state your religion as Muslim whilst standing in a bar drinking.

So your friend's question was fair.

Although I used to work with this Muslim guy and also asked if he wasnt a practicing Muslim as he was eating a chicken and bacon sandwich from the vending machine. Turns out he didn't know bacon was from a pig. Poor guy!

Read the info I posted, please.

@LuluandkirkEven if the question was fair, it was a bit socially inept and tactless to ask a stranger in that setting.

The implication behind the question is a bit judgmental like “oh you’re a Muslim but you drink alcohol how does that work” i.e. you can’t really be a Muslim / you’re a bad Muslim. It’s asking them to justify violating a term of their religion which is pretty big

It would be like saying to a Catholic who is buying contraception / getting divorced / living with a partner before marriage “oh I just thought you were a Catholic”. Or saying the same thing to a Jewish person who is eating in a non Kosher restaurant / working on a Saturday / eating in a restaurant vs attending a Shabbat Friday night dinner.

But he sounds like he could have handled it more calmly. “Plenty of religious people don’t follow every rule of their religion” would have been a better response

Yes, and it's not really appropriate to ask you that during chit chat either.
Peoples religious observance isn't really anyone's business especially if they are strangers engaged in a very casual interaction .

lol I like you friend. Those blokes are definitely dicks. If I got this right, she asked their language? Not their religion?

THEY volunteered that they were Muslim which is a bit weird - religion is not a fact we generally offer up unsolicited while making small talk. These blokes started it - making a point of mentioning their religion when it wasn’t asked about, brings the subject to the table.

Your friend was very quick to notice the drinks and ask them if they were practicing. The fact they got aggressive and didn’t have any self awareness about how ridiculous they seemed sat there making a point of being Muslim, while simultaneously downing a pint, is not on your friend. The blokes made it awkward not your friend.

It would be the same if you asked a guy tucking into a full English at the airport ‘where are you traveling to’ and he said Israel and then volunteered he was Jewish. As he bite into that pile of streaky bacon, the natural next comment would be ‘but not practicing eh?’’. A self-aware Jewish person might see the juxtaposition and laugh or offer some explanation - not aggressively ask ‘what makes you say that?’

Your friend is NTA

Ok ask any person from one of those countries if you happen to meet them in the UK 🙄

The question was weird and intrusive. Why would the friend think it’s ok to question someone about how they practise their faith? It reminds me of the thread the other day where a woman was questioned about why she was not drinking by a man and everyone agreed he was out of order. Why would this be any different?

As a Catholic, if someone asked me that question Id find it utterly bizarre, but no one ever has! Maybe something about you looks suspicious if people keep on pestering you about it 😂

I think it’s fine to ask. I have a non-practicing Muslim friend- she drinks. I’m Jewish and pretty non-practising and wouldn’t be offended if someone asked me if I was religious. I’d say not really, just traditional, and move on.
He could’ve been drinking no-alcohol beer.

Most religions teach sex is for marriage and prohibit pre marital sex - yet lots of people who consider themselves to be practicing would have sex before marriage. My dad used to know a Jewish bloke who used to have a bacon sandwich once a month because the smelt and were so delicious, he considered himself religious in every other aspect. Lots of people pick and choose what bits of a religion they follow, so I think it was rude to questions someone’s faith based on one thing and I’m atheist.

As a Jewish person I’d laugh, but I don’t eat bacon (although do other ‘forbidden’ things!).As I said above I’ve def been asked similar questions and I they’re genuine or in good humour then it’s fine. people are curious - when it gets racist that’s when it’s offensive.

It was a bit of a crass question. Would you question a Christian person's faith in this way if they weren't following it to the letter?

If a person who is muslim eats pork, as in your example, they don't stop being muslim. They've sinned.

It's the same as if a catholic has pre-marital sex. Still catholic, but have sinned.

I think this thread demonstrates the whole problem in our society . White people taking umbrage on behalf of Muslims who aren’t offended by it . It makes Muslins out to be intolerant of every little thing when in reality it’s not the case .

It's got F all to do with your friend, that's why. How odd.

These Muslims WERE offended by it??

I think it was odd that they brought up their religion. If I was chatting to someone I didn’t know it wouldn’t be the first or second thing I told them. And it was possibly going to lead to a question when they were openly behaving in a way that goes against the teachings of that religion. Be a bit like someone chatting in a queue at pharmacy telling you they were Catholic and picking up birth control tablets. Why mention the religion? Or as another poster said someone telling you they were vegan as they tucked into a steak.

I think it’s because in the story in the OP, the muslims did sound offended.

And a lot of people on the thread are trying to explain that it’s unfair to treat one religion as very simplistic when being very used to variation in religious observance with eg Catholicism.

They weren’t that offended as they carried on chatting and had a nice time . They were probably more ‘ surprised’ at the question .

They wouldn't do it in Qatar.

Have we forgotten the uproar that the football was being held there, because none of the gay fans could go and there were only a few special places that you could drink in and nowhere else?
I've been to strict Muslim countries and Turkey. Both restrict women's lifestyles. Honour killings in the name of their religion takes place in every Muslim country. Women are covered, often unseen. So let's not pretend that when a man declares himself a Muslim, it's the same as a lapsed Catholic. Their religion has a knock on effect for women. If a Muslim man is drinking, but also advocates for women's and gay rights, crack on. They were defensive because their actions contradict the, unasked for, declaration of their religion.

Posters on here have got to be so right-on, that now Qatari Muslim men can drink alcohol, it's laughable.

They probably felt guilty about the beer

There’s no need to generalise, this is about one particular interaction.

Politics and religion should be left out of polite conversation. It’s weird to question someone’s religion in a social setting, especially when you’ve just met. There can be any number of reasons why he was drinking. Maybe he’s questioning his faith and has difficulty coming to terms with it, maybe he’s a hypocrite, or maybe he’s really an atheist but can’t come out to his family and friends. Doesn’t make it ok for a stranger to challenge him.

This