AIBU to think friend’s question was fair?

It was a fair question when you’re making ‘getting to know you’ conversation with a self proclaimed Muslim who is in a bar. He was being a defensive aggressive prick, probably because he’s from a part of the world where men don’t like being challenged or questioned by females.

Exactly! The man should have told her to piss off and mind her own business. I’m a nosy bugger and I wouldn’t even have thought of that question. It 100% suggests judgement.

Does she also ask Catholics who have children but unmarried if they are practising Catholics?

Why would a simple statement be bragging?

so why did they brag that they were muslims??

Drinking alcohol would be the last question I would ask. I wouldn't even engage, knowing how they treat women.

I think it was a rude question. Lots of people “break the rules” of their religion. I was raised catholic and went to catholic school - none of my friends waited for marriage to co-habit/have sex, most still identify as catholic. The world is different to when these religions were written down. It’s up to individuals how they choose to honour their beliefs

They’d been caught out hence the aggression

Since when? According to who? People do only seem to apply this to non Christian faiths.
I’ve never had anyone question that I’m not a real catholic because I’m on the pill.
It’s very normal for someone to consider themselves a follower of a certain religion and not live by every single rule, in fact I would argue almost everyone doesn’t actually abide by every rule.

It's an odd question. We don't expect complete observance of any other other religion do we?
Are you sure they announced their faith out of nowhere?

But if you’re asking a follow up question in good faith, just interested chit chat, why would you “dodge the question” when they ask why you were asking?

I agree. Practising can mean different things to different people e.g. going to church or mosque, observing certain Holy days or praying 5 times a day. Many Muslims drink alcohol but are still observant

They don't have that belief or they wouldn't be drinking, would they?

I have met a fair few people who take the opportunity to behave differently outside of their country when they are away than when they are inside it due to the social pressure to conform when they are at home.

The point your friend was making could be seen as wagging the finger while they were wanting to exploit their limited opportunity to have what they thought was a good time. So probably not surprising that if that were the case it would not be that well received.

I doubt whether they needed any reminder here.

Why would they open the conversation by saying they were Muslim, if they’re not?

It’s the two men who come across as arrogant to me.

And if anyone’s an arsehole, it’s not OP and her friend.

They were the ones who brought up the subject of their religion, while doing something that everybody knows goes against their religion, so there’s nothing rude about your friend asking that.

If they didn’t want to talk about it they didn’t have to mention it in the first place. I mean, if you’re from Qatar, it’s pretty close to obvious, anyway. I doubt very much your friend would have asked that question if they hadn’t first made that statement.

I think they were rude to bring it up and then get all arsey when your friend pursued the line of conversation. “We’re allowed to introduce the topic of our religion but you’re not allowed to respond to that”? Nah.

Just having a conversation these days means you have to think about your words, the other person, phraseology, theme, atmosphere, etc. Then take those words out of your mouth, look at them, think about to whom you are addressing those words, consider whether what you are about to say is offensive or intrusive in any way, then either say them, or put them back in your mouth and be quiet.

By the time you do all that, the person will have disappeared.

Far too much analysis and judgment of ordinary conversations now, everyone is looking for offence and bats back, or people are terrified of opening their mouths in the first place!

Honestly....

The complete stranger had declared his religion, unasked. So a follow-up question wasn't unreasonable.

Your friend was incredibly rude and ignorant. You were even worse. It's none of your business how people portray themselves. Maybe they are not Muslim at all and just wanted to shut you both up. Unfortunately for them they encountered 2 entitled arseholes.
Then you start a thread on here about it!
Arrogance at it's finest.

The fact your friend wasn't fit to answer why she asked says it all really.

She was absolutely judging them. She should just own it.

I think your friend needs to learn some social graces - she sounds pretty inept at „getting to know someone“. If you want to learn more about another person why ask a question that may put them on the backfoot. It’s none of her business and I know plenty of secular Muslims who are practicing their religion but drink.

Plenty of churchgoing Catholics use protection against pregnancy and most of them also wouldn’t cast out gay people. Give your head a wobble!

Let’s face it, an intrusive question about religion within the first couple of questions of meeting someone is just a social faux pas whatever way you look at it.
It’s like asking someone which way they vote after asking their name.

You're right. It is indeed a parallel universe in which people are expected to treat each other with basic courtesy and respect, and in which it would be considered extremely rude to try to interpret someone else's religion for them.

Very different from the universe that you seem to inhabit, obviously, where people are allowed to be as rude as they like and nobody is allowed to point it out.

Sounds like chit chat and small talk to me. No one needs get offended by everything !

I would think OP's friend was equally rude if she were questioning a Catholic stranger on why they were not doing/doing something. Hard to think of a similar food/drink equivalent: maybe saying, 'Why are you eating meat?' on a Friday, especially Good Friday.

I don't think asking if they go to the mosque would be rude in the same way.