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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think friend’s question was fair?

247 replies

Luluandkirk · 27/08/2026 11:01

Last night I went to a languages night at a local bar (everyone wears tags with what languages you speak so you can practice & socialise).

My friend and I ended up chatting to 2 guys from Qatar who were just in the bar, not for the language night. So asked what languages they speak and they said Arabic and then said we are Muslim. My friend asked if they were practicing Muslims and one of the guys asked why. My friend kind of dodged a reply and tried to change the subject but he asked why she asked if they were practicing and persisted on the question. My friend said something like ‘oh I just wondered because you are drinking’ (alcohol)

He got really offended so I tried to back my friend up and said that well I was raised catholic but I’m no longer practicing, some people aren’t. The conversation moved on and it was all friendly in the end.

AIBU to think that while the awkward moment probably could’ve been avoided, my friend was just asking questions to get to know them? To clarify, she was absolutely not judging them for drinking but they were in fact drinking so it was a fair enough question. Not everyone raised in a religion do practice it continually and that is perfectly fine. As I said we continued chatting and it was all friendly but I think it played on her mind a bit.

OP posts:
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Valeriekat · 05/09/2026 19:54

GolfingGoddess · 27/08/2026 11:05

I think it’s pretty rude to ask to be honest. They have told you they are Muslim; they define themselves that way and have that belief. It sounds like your friend is then judging whether they meet her definition of Muslim and questioning their drinking etc. You are right that it could have been avoided, but by your friend asking a more appropriate next question.

Alcohol is haram!

GaIadriel · 01/09/2026 22:27

I don't know why you're only comparing it to other religions. It's not only religious people that have been affected by things like Islamic terror attacks.

QuietComet · 01/09/2026 21:54

GaIadriel · 01/09/2026 21:49

So you really think that a survey of 1000 random Brits would find the majority stating that being gay should be illegal?

Um....ok.

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Lol, not sure if you're being deliberate obtuse, not sure where you got that from...

GaIadriel · 01/09/2026 21:49

QuietComet · 29/08/2026 15:42

The majority in a survey conducted in the UK, not the majority in the UK. 520 Muslims in total felt that homosexuality should be illegal.

The survey was of 1000 British Muslims, 0.025% of the British Muslim population.

And that may well be no different to the results of surveys of other religious groups.

It's also quite a "whataboutery" statement.

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So you really think that a survey of 1000 random Brits would find the majority stating that being gay should be illegal?

Um....ok.

MyMiniMetro · 01/09/2026 18:40

A lot of people have really missed the point- the men were the ones who brought up that they were Muslim. The men were the ones who made religion a topic of conversation.

BeWittyRobin · 30/08/2026 09:02

I personally think it wasn’t an unreasonable question but at the same time I wouldn’t have thought to ask myself. But some people regardless of their religion get easily offended and defensive 🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean the amount of times people assume I’m catholic because of how many kids I have is unreal ….. now I am catholic but I usually joke that yes I am catholic but that isn’t the reason I have as many kids as I do because I’m prob the world worst catholic. I wouldn’t ever get offended but some do xx

WhyIsThereGlitterEverywhere · 29/08/2026 19:20

Luluandkirk · 27/08/2026 11:16

People don’t have the same attitude when it comes to Christianity though. I’ve been asked 100 times when I’ve said I’m catholic “do you go to church”. It’s very similar.

It’s really not. It’s more like saying to a Catholic with a small family “are you practising, because I didn’t think Catholics use birth control?” or something. It’s not any of your business to what extent someone else is following the customs of their religion and it’s too personal to comment on your perceptions of someone else’s adherence.

QuietComet · 29/08/2026 15:42

GaIadriel · 29/08/2026 15:33

Well, the majority of UK Muslims think homosexuality should be illegal. That was from surveys like the Channel 4 one where they asked them directly.

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The majority in a survey conducted in the UK, not the majority in the UK. 520 Muslims in total felt that homosexuality should be illegal.

The survey was of 1000 British Muslims, 0.025% of the British Muslim population.

And that may well be no different to the results of surveys of other religious groups.

It's also quite a "whataboutery" statement.

GaIadriel · 29/08/2026 15:33

QuietComet · 29/08/2026 13:56

Neither do most Muslims. There are extremists in all religions. It's best not to judge millions of good people on the actions of a few.

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Well, the majority of UK Muslims think homosexuality should be illegal. That was from surveys like the Channel 4 one where they asked them directly.

QuietComet · 29/08/2026 13:56

AnitaCam · 29/08/2026 10:22

It’s the noli mi tangere of Muslim ideology that causes the stringency. Hindus don’t issue death threats to artists that don’t flatter them. Let’s not pretend these religions have the same kind of presence or character in the world.

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Neither do most Muslims. There are extremists in all religions. It's best not to judge millions of good people on the actions of a few.

CaptainMyCaptain · 29/08/2026 13:55

DeathNote11 · 29/08/2026 09:23

You friend outed a hypocrite. I'd say that was a job well done except for the backpedaling. I'd have kept at it like a dog with a rabbit.

Why do you think you have the right to tell other people they are not doing their religion properly? What difference does it make to you anyway?

QuietComet · 29/08/2026 13:52

DeathNote11 · 29/08/2026 09:23

You friend outed a hypocrite. I'd say that was a job well done except for the backpedaling. I'd have kept at it like a dog with a rabbit.

Why were they a hypocrite?

nomas · 29/08/2026 13:50

DeathNote11 · 29/08/2026 13:49

Yes. Every time.

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Sure you do.

DeathNote11 · 29/08/2026 13:49

nomas · 29/08/2026 09:25

Do you call Hindus who eat meat and Jews who eat pork hypocrites too?

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Yes. Every time.

FateAmenableToChange · 29/08/2026 13:20

Your friend wasn’t direct enough ‘I thought Muslims weren’t supposed to drink alcohol?’ Would have been a better question.

No doubt you’d have got the same arsy response but at least there wouldn’t have been any confusion around what was being asked.

And no there is nothing wrong with asking questions when the person in front of you has just said something that doesn’t line up. Most people are allergic to gaslighting.

GaIadriel · 29/08/2026 12:51

FirmSnake · 29/08/2026 12:49

You seem to fundamentally misunderstand Islam. It is a faith, not a rule book.

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You seem to fundamentally misunderstand veganism. It is an ideological belief, not a rule book.

FirmSnake · 29/08/2026 12:49

GaIadriel · 29/08/2026 12:42

Indeed. Most vegans would probs avoid mentioning their veganism while indulging in a cheeky steak.

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You seem to fundamentally misunderstand Islam. It is a faith, not a rule book.

GaIadriel · 29/08/2026 12:49

Re-reading the OP it doesn't even sound like the friend was particularly pushy. She just asked if they were practicing Muslims and they pressed for a reason why because they knew they were committing a sin.

Probs didn't like being called out by a second class citizen.

GaIadriel · 29/08/2026 12:42

Deboragh · 29/08/2026 09:20

If its inappropriate to ask, out of confusion, because he was drinking, how was it appropriate for him to mention it in the first place? Who the hell volunteers their religious beliefs in the opening sentences of a conversation about language. Did anyone else say stuff like, ' I'm Jonathan I speak German and I'm a protestant. He offered totally irrelevant information, why should he get offended about curiosity about it.

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Indeed. Most vegans would probs avoid mentioning their veganism while indulging in a cheeky steak.

GaIadriel · 29/08/2026 12:39

TheOriginalEmu · 29/08/2026 04:05

you didn’t claim that it was not allowed in islam to do those things, your claim was they wouldn’t do it in a muslim country so that makes them not muslim. that’s not the same claim at all.

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You appear to be confusing me with another poster.

TallagallaPenguin · 29/08/2026 11:15

AnitaCam · 29/08/2026 11:06

Being obtuse in order to miss the point. Hey ho.

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No - you’re generalising about how people should treat all Muslims, because of how some Muslims behave.

nomas · 29/08/2026 11:10

AnitaCam · 29/08/2026 11:08

Missed the point.. really interested but didnt read my post?

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I did read your post. Why do you assume all Muslims want to issue death threats?

Why do you think it’s ok for people of other religions to be flawed but Muslims can’t be flawed?

AnitaCam · 29/08/2026 11:08

nomas · 29/08/2026 11:07

No, I’m realky interested. Why do you hold Muslims to much higher standards than anyone else?

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Missed the point.. really interested but didnt read my post?

nomas · 29/08/2026 11:08

AnitaCam · 29/08/2026 11:07

Not ones covered in Make up, that have husband and kids, no. Certainly not child nuns.

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So you’re judging Muslim women for both having the audacity to wear hijab and also wear make up?

So they’re both too modest and not modest enough?

nomas · 29/08/2026 11:07

AnitaCam · 29/08/2026 11:06

Being obtuse in order to miss the point. Hey ho.

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No, I’m realky interested. Why do you hold Muslims to much higher standards than anyone else?