Aibu to think perfect work life balance isn't possible.

I work Mon - Thu in an interesting job with my own team. It's enough of a challenge to make the days go by quickly but when I'm off, I'm off. I'll never go back to 5 days.

I agree completely. I can do what I do for 4 hours a day, which is office management, accounts and payroll etc. for a small business, but I'd dread the days if I had to stay til 5.

I'll go back full time when DS is older but I don't know into what. I've got 3 areas in which I worked 5-10 years that I could go back into, but the one I loved got a bit torpedoed by COVID and hasn't recovered. I was last in financial services which is heavily regulated and very very stressful if you make an error.

I work part time in an easy no overtime/ stress job. I enjoy it but it only works because it’s part time. If I did the same job 40 hours a week I would be bored stiff. I’ve also done mentally challenging jobs that I loved but also have exhausted me . This is the only manageable situation I have found.

I also think that many of us (myself included in the past) can spend an awful lot of downtime during work hours. After having kids, I developed a heads down arse up approach to work. I’ll have a chat over a short lunch but spend the rest working. I work similar hours -8-5 ish - but I work super smart, don’t fanny around toying with ideas or fonts or layouts, and just get the job done. I am an inventive, creative, reflective teacher, so I’m not just churning out the same stuff all the time, but I have just learned to be efficient and speedy during work hours. I see so many teachers hanging around late but chatting about nonsense or spending literally an hour working out fonts and layouts to PowerPoints and then wonder why they have to work late. I guess every job involves learning what genuinely matters and only sweating that stuff in order to stay sane.

I agree on boundaries though. Other than a safeguarding incident I do not breach my hours and keep a strong but kind boundary. Everyone respects that if you’re good at your job and get it done properly.

I’m lucky enough to have 2 well paid flexible jobs but when I need to I have to put all
the hours in and more
On other occasions I can coast - it’s taken me years to realise that I’m not paid for what I do but what I can do! And who I know
At 60+ I should outsource more like cleaning and gardening which would free up
more relaxation time - but it’s hard to find reliable people and I’m growing to accept that sometimes layers of dust and weeds are the price to pay for my sanity
When I was a much younger single mum - all fed non dead was my mantra now it’s hygienically clean and good food but take me as you find me

I’m happy with mine. I work 9-3 three days a week, so can always pick DS1 up from school, DS2 is in nursery those 3 days, so I then have 2 days off with them.

Of course we are fairly reliant on DH’s salary.

Self employment changed things for me. I work school hours but then if really need to can do a bit more when DC in bed/playing/watching TV. Means don't have to stress about holidays, can attend school events etc.

It absolutely is possible. My dsis is a highly paid professional with an interesting, stimulating specialist job that she does flexibly from home, 9-3 four days a week. She takes the kids to school and picks them up every day and has one day off to get stuff done. I envy her life massively but it took many years of training and some luck to land the fully remote job she now has.

Mine's pretty good. It was challenging working full time as a single parent when my daughter was younger, but it's much easier now she's in her teens. I'm in a senior position, enjoy my job, I don't work stupid hours, it's hybrid and flexible so I can take time out if I need to and make it up later. Sometimes it feels like I'm too knackered to do the housework, but then I give myself a break and leave the washing up if I want to. It's impossible to have a perfect balance, but a decent one is more than achievable.

I have a pretty good work life balance which is unusual for a teacher.

My rule is if I can’t do it between the hours of 8 and 5 I am not doing it, the only exception being exam marking during exam periods.

And that’s it. No big secret. I just refuse to do it 🤷‍♀️

I wfh, self employed contractor. Can choose how many hours I work and set my rate. I don’t take any work home. And it’s easy, fairly well paid and I enjoy it. Sometimes I work 30 hours per week, sometimes 45. Not for everyone but have my mortgage paid off and kids are older so it works for me

Hmm I don't think anyone feels their life is perfect all the time though surely? But I think me and DH both have a pretty good work/life balance. Neither of us are high earners though and we both work part-time. We both have some flexibility I do some home-working (usually 2 days out of 4 but sometimes less and occasionally more). Neither of us have significant commutes. We have to use very little wraparound and holiday cover. But for that quality of life we've sacrificed pay and in my case progression and an actual career. For us it's worth it but other people may have made different choices and I could understand that too.

Yes I find my balance pretty perfect, 9-2 mostly from home. In meetings a lot so plenty of interaction and the role has peaks and troughs so I have very quiet periods.

I then get a hour free time before heading off for school run at 3, then some afternoons DD has activities so I take her to those, or go to the gym, dog walk etc.

We do rely heavily on DH salary for me to have this freedom though

I know this goes against the grain, but I think it is v possible in the right job. I work full time, am senior, and am well rewarded (I’m the main breadwinner), but have chosen a firm and area of law where it’s possible to WFH 3 days a week most weeks (i WFH 2 days a week once or twice a month I’d say) and I’ve got flexibility to do things like school run before I log on, or nip out for a short school recital etc (have 3 school age kids). I do log back on probably 3 evenings out of 5, but it’s extremely rare that I need to log on over the weekend. If WFH I can always stop in time to cook dinner. Housework etc is 50/50 with DH. I’d say I carry the organisational and mental load (eg I sort all school stuff, clubs, dr, dentist etc etc, but I have time for that… I feel pretty balanced to be honest! I work hard and it’s high stress but only when working, if that makes sense. It doesn’t seep into home life. It’s definitely possible. I guess it had to be made possible because I have to earn the high salary I do…if I had a DH who earned a lot I’m sure part time would work even better… I’ve never had that option! DH works FT too is just a low earner given his chosen career

I think having the right job is key. I retrained to teach after years in another profession and just LOVE it. It doesn’t feel like work. Plus we get a quarter of the year off!

I also work a slightly shorter week at 4 days so I have a day doing my planning/prep and half a day off, all at home, so I can catch up on stuff like food shop, washing etc to leave evenings free.

I work 30-40 mins away from my school and love my commute as I listen to podcasts series or audiobooks so it’s actually a lovely way to pass the time.

but for me I think the key thing is genuinely loving what you do.

I don’t think the perfect work life balance is possible with working full time in a job where you bring work home. I’d question whether it’s possible working full time even in a low-stress job. Maybe if you have a partnership where your spouse truly shares the load 50%, but I don’t think I know any partnerships where that’s the case. My husband is an equal partner practically housework and childcare terms, but I definitely still do more of the mental load. Mostly because I want things done a certain way, so I’m not complaining but just noting it.

I work part time (0.6) in a low stress job where I don’t bring anything home. My work-life balance is pretty perfect. I can do all the school runs, have the mental space to volunteer and be involved in my child’s school and extra-curriculars. But it’s not a job that inspires passion in me or impresses other people. So although I’m very happy, I’m not “a woman who has it all”.

I used to work 9am-2.30pm 3 days a week, which I much prefer to 9am-1pm 5 days a week to be honest, but it was horribly stressful so I spent my two days off worrying about work while I went round Tesco and did the cleaning...

This basically 24-30 hrs a week paid work is perfect. Supermarket shop and gym class on my day off

I’m fairly happy with my work life balance working part time ( three full days a week). I work in IT and stick to the technical side with no management responsibility, which isn’t for everyone but I like it and it avoids lots of stress and overtime ( I also accept a lower salary and work somewhere that pays overtime, which means there are plenty of volunteers when it is required).
in an ideal world I wouldn’t have my kids in breakfast and after school club, but honestly the break makes me a better parent when I am with them ( a friend does 5 short days so she can do school pick ups and seems to be constantly rushing from one thing to the next). I use the school hours on my days off to do the housework and have a bit of me time.

I think I do I WFH full time. Not stressful and well paid, don’t generally work late. Do lots of stuff with kids and lots of running. Bit hectic sometimes but all good.

In what way? Too much leisure time?

It wouldn’t suit everyone, I’m sure. I work 20 hours a week and that’s perfect for me.

Exactly what I was going to say. I appreciate it’s not a luxury available to everybody.

For me currently it's 20 hours a week in a zero stress but low paid job

I’ve got great work life balance. Ive been working the equivalent of 2.5 days per week term time only for 5 years. I do either 1 or 2 days per week in office (alternating weeks) then the rest from home.

I then work roughly 10-12 hours locum work per week as a contractor, and maybe do a little more over the summer holidays if I’m not away. I make my own diary, am always home and done by 5pm, except for occasional evening (if there’s a deadline). I earn a pretty good salary. Have one 1 and dog. Never had to miss a school event, appointment or use holiday care.

I think it’s tough. I work a pretty senior job, I get a fair amount of flexibility in that I can go to nursery events, take kids to the doctor etc easily. But the work doesn’t go away so I’m often working in evenings anyway even when I don’t take extra time off in the week. I’d love to work 4 days a week but my role wouldn’t allow it (and even if they did I’d get paid for four days but have to do 5 days work as there’s no one else to pick it up and they won’t employ someone for one day). I also can’t afford to drop to a low paid role with more flexible number of days. Before kids I’d often be in the office til 6/7pm but then completely free in the evenings so it didn’t feel so bad. Now I have to leave on the dot to get the kids/see them for a bit, then log back on 9ish to do a couple more hours which feels worse in some ways.