AIBU to be frustrated by my husband interrupting me while I work from home?

When he disturbs you, ask him if he would have phoned or come into your office to tell you that.

And get a lock or door wedge

🤣

@Messydesks because the alternative is the children just endlessly trying to get his attention and as anyone who has little children probably knows the more you ignore them the more determined they become. So my time in the house is just spent trying to manage this and getting them to leave DH alone so he can work and it’s very stressful.

I realise it is different with teens of course.

As for me, I am not often in the house without the children but on the rare occasion I am, I can’t watch TV downstairs and put a film on; I can’t do housework listening to the radio or music, I am constantly aware of his presence and can hear him, but also am just endlessly flirting about like a strange ghost. In no way am I criticising you here by the way or even my DH: it is what it is, but my life feels extremely restricted and my home is no longer a place of security and relaxation, it’s a workplace, and that’s very hard to swallow.

I often wonder how those who WFH and can’t manage others around managed in the times before they started to become less of a thing?

Genuine question because when I’m at work if I need to concentrate I block others around me out.

If I’m able to engage with them i do and then go back to what I was doing.

Im not suggesting people interrupting is acceptable if you’ve said not to just wondering is these people are use to working around others so find it really hard to grasp why some people can’t do that?

My ds works from home and although often I’m out at work when he’s home he has no issue with me walking past and saying hi, how was your day or will ask me the same as i walk past.

If he’s in a meeting or on a call he shuts the door until it’s done and then opens it.

I might have guessed!

So youre the breadwinner, you need to work from home due to disability, and your teens can understand and respect your (separate) work-space….but a grown man cant because he needs attention.

He is being infantile and irresponsible and I’d be really straight with him. Maybe he doesnt understand the pressures of your work - but he needs to learn as your job is funding the household.

Also sounds like he could push himself a bit harder at work.

@WerewolfOfLoudon i do think that’s unfair as a) I don’t interrupt DH and b) I don’t need validation. What I’m trying to explain is how uncomfortable it is that my presence and the children’s presence is largely ignored for huge chunks of the day. It is where we are but had I known years ago that any time I do get to myself or even with my children has to be spent largely out of the house, I would have made a different decision and DH has no idea I feel this way.

OK. So you have told him straight not to interrupt you but he doesn’t give a shit.

You need a lock for the door. In the meantime, tell him you are going to barricade yourself in with furniture.

Hi OP,

You are not being unreasonable at all. The fact that your teens have the courtesy to respect your work but your DH doesnt lets you see where his level of behaviour falls - well below that of a respectful teen.

Ive never understood spouses (husbands or wives) who dont respect the others’ work. Presumable your salary helps fund your household of which your husband is a part. I’d make clear if he wants your financial contribution, he needs to support you working. Or is the issue he doesnt want you to work at all?

The fact you have a disability makes the situation even worse. You literally have to wfh to be able to work and he’s trying to sabotage it. I’d give him one more chance and then get a lock for the door

Yep my partner is for same. We had words yesterday about it lol. I work until 5pm but he turned up at 3.45 yesterday so he could take me to a beer garden in the lovely weather!! He had to then sit there and I couldn’t concentrate, very annoying!

What about putting a lock on the door? YANBU!

go back into the room, telling himhe is not to interrupt and lock the door if no key then push a chair up against it or a door stop or something

Put a lock on your door
I've got one so my child doesn't just walk in but it's a clear message to your husband that if it's locked and he tried the door then you're concentrating

This.
my husband gets a firm ‘not listening to you!’ And door shut in his face if needs be.

Would he interrupt a colleague like this when they’ve told him not to? No.. didn’t think so.

get him told @Messydesks!

tell Him that you don’t want to be disturbed unless it’s an emergency. Then when he interrupts ask “ am I calling an ambulance or the police?”
next time “is the house on fire or one of the kids dying”
ect and when he says no “go away, im
working”