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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH's attire on family holiday

145 replies

onesinglepringle · 27/08/2026 08:28

Just looking for some opinions as I don't know if I'm being weird about this!

On a big extended family holiday, all staying in the same house with aunts/ uncles/ cousins/ kids etc that we don't see that often.

DH (late 40's if relevant) is walking around in just the shorts he slept in in the morning whilst he is sorting out our toddler's breakfast etc. No one else seems to be doing this, everyone else is wearing t-shirts.

Is this OK/ normal?

It is warm, and I don't want to tell him to cover up if I'm just being a bit weird and prudish about it.

At the same time, I'm hoping people aren't looking at him and wondering why he's wearing only his sleep shorts from like 6.30-9am, socialising, playing with the kids etc, so it's not just popping down for a coffee. He's unshowered, messy hair etc.

YABU - It's fine, chill out, it's family (even though extended family we don't see)
YANBU - he should cover up like everyone else

OP posts:
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notacooldad · 28/08/2026 13:07

I'm particularly amused that people are getting so stressy when it's the husband's OWN family he's shirtless in front of. Not even the OP's

😆 is that about me!!
I dont get stressy because no one does it.

Dh has never walked around shirtless, even as as a young man and I suppose my lads have followed his lead!

Lemondressese · 28/08/2026 13:02

I think a teeshirt over his pj shorts is normal and appropriate.
Sons and husband here wouldn't be walking about like that, even on holiday.
Even a sleeveless teeshirt if it is very warm.

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 28/08/2026 12:59

gannett · 27/08/2026 16:26

The MN levels of disgust at the human body are wild. It seems to tie together the crazy levels of germphobia - the squeals of disgust throughout this thread are too much - and the equally crazy obsession with social class (a middle-class person would never be half-naked - though the very posh 20-something men playing tennis shirtless on the court next to me the other day would beg to differ).

Before 9am on holiday is not a time for a dress code and this would not bother me.

God, yes. All of this. Mumsnet is astonishingly uptight about this sort of thing.

I'm particularly amused that people are getting so stressy when it's the husband's OWN family he's shirtless in front of. Not even the OP's!

notacooldad · 28/08/2026 12:52

Im not one for men walking around shirtless.
I have never said anything in our house but neither of my lads or dh wander around in the morning not having showered or not wearing a t shirt.
The only time dh goes downstairs in his sleep shorts is to make the morning coffee but he is back upstairs.

I know im in the minority but I wouldn't like it.

Missj25 · 28/08/2026 09:11

Missj25 · 28/08/2026 09:10

Fgs sake relax please 🙄.
It’s 6 am to 9 am .
You can’t win here .
If OP had written her husband lies in bed while they’re on holiday until 10am while she is up each morning at 6 am, it would be burn him at the steak .
What is the big deal not having no top on 🙄

Show quote history

Meant a top , not no top

Missj25 · 28/08/2026 09:10

Lomonald · 27/08/2026 09:05

I would expect him to be dressed he isn't "at home" not everyone will want to see him half naked wandering about it the morning he really imo needs to put a t-shirt on, it is mannerable.

Fgs sake relax please 🙄.
It’s 6 am to 9 am .
You can’t win here .
If OP had written her husband lies in bed while they’re on holiday until 10am while she is up each morning at 6 am, it would be burn him at the steak .
What is the big deal not having no top on 🙄

ChamonixMountainBum · 28/08/2026 08:17

EppingIsFun · 27/08/2026 21:24

No way, he needs to cover up. Would you walk around topless in front of extended family, OP? No? There you are then.

Sure, wondering about with your tits out is the same thing....

FlowerFail · 28/08/2026 07:52

T shirt on definitely, and get showered and dressed by 9 AM surely?
No t-shirt is gross

JJWT · 28/08/2026 01:17

Probably not the majority view but I think its unhygienic to have a man's hairy unshowered body in a communal food prep area. Tummy, chest, pits, legs will shed curlies L R and centre. And they somehow always end up in the butter!

Happytaytos · 27/08/2026 22:42

I also make my kids wear PJ tops if not in their room on holiday. Basic manners.

Happytaytos · 27/08/2026 22:39

The bar for me would be that everyone else has a top on.
Tops on for food definitely.
It's a bit odd to be the only topless one, I'd cringe a bit if BIL was topless.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 27/08/2026 22:10

I can understand that he wants to relax but he sounds like Slobsville.
How often does he change his underwear.?

Proper shorts, no escaping or peep dangly bottles . With either a cool tee shirt or a vest.

You know normal holiday garb.

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 27/08/2026 21:27

If im on homiday with famiky i would expect to be able go walk in pjs if i wanted to. Its not a formal dinner. Let him relax amd chill .. hes on holiday.

EppingIsFun · 27/08/2026 21:24

No way, he needs to cover up. Would you walk around topless in front of extended family, OP? No? There you are then.

AmnesiacsDream · 27/08/2026 21:22

onesinglepringle · 27/08/2026 08:57

It's his family but he does the same with mine.

Show quote history

If it's his family I would keep my mouth shut. If it were my family and I knew it bothered them, I would say something to him.

BeUmberMember · 27/08/2026 20:57

Getting up at 6.30, sorting the toddlers breakfast and playing with the children? You are well lucky to have such a helpful husband. He is on holiday as well, let him wear his shorts and have a shower and get dressed when everyone else is sorted.

canuckup · 27/08/2026 19:48

Bluestar1971 · 27/08/2026 18:21

Bloke here and no it's not ok. Shorts is fine but definitely needs a shirt

Ah, now we can all rest easy in our beds. Thanks.

peachie82 · 27/08/2026 19:31

I think this is ok, he’s on holiday and so long as the bits are covered up, it’s no different from him being by the pool, on the beach etc

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 27/08/2026 18:52

It wouldn’t be for me OP. Own home with no guests, fine, but with other people, going around in sleep shorts with no top would be like going around in pj shorts and a bralet and I wouldn’t do that in company.

also, as some other posters have alluded to, jersey sleep shorts sometime don’t leave much to the imagination, depending on how lightweight they are.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 27/08/2026 18:45

It's poor manners to be half-dressed. He'll be annoyed when you bring it up, though.

Gleba · 27/08/2026 18:34

He’s wearing pj shorts all day? Ask him to shower in the morning and wear normal shorts (with underwear).

Bluestar1971 · 27/08/2026 18:21

Bloke here and no it's not ok. Shorts is fine but definitely needs a shirt

Wingingit73 · 27/08/2026 18:15

You need to chill out

canuckup · 27/08/2026 18:11

Yuck. Totally unacceptable

gannett · 27/08/2026 16:26

WildWindySeascape · 27/08/2026 13:36

Are we talking about a washboard six pack on display, a middling dad bod or is he rocking a Homer Simpson beer belly? With or without chest hair? These details matter

Edited

I'm keenly awaiting the answer to this as well.

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