DH wants to be a teenager, no time for me… aibu?

He sounds like a complete dickhead - and I never use that word!
he is using you to look after his kids while he acts like a single bloke.

go away for a few days and nights and let him fully look after them - esp when he’s back at work and has to juggle their school runs too.

get out of this shitty relationship where you are being used for free childcare and treated like crap

He is literally offering to pay you to go away. Take him up on his offer and go away forever.

Your updates are so depressing OP. Again, I have to ask why on earth you're in this relationship and contemplating having a baby with this man. He doesn't even want to spend any time with you and thinks loading the dishwasher and hanging up washing is your job, even when you're at work and he's home all day! He's a lazy, selfish misogynistic prat and you'd be mad to stay with him. But I suspect you will stay, and continue to post about what a nasty bastard he is.

Honestly I try to never say this on MN but on this occasion I really would leave. He sounds really unattractive and selfish. This will be your life - he will never change. Cut your losses and leave him to it.

He tells her that the earth is flat -
He knows the facts, and that is that.
In altercations fierce and long
She tries her best to prove him wrong.
But he has learned to argue well.
He calls her arguments unsound
And often asks her not to yell.
She cannot win. He stands his ground.

The planet goes on being round.

Well I think we know why his first marriage ended. You are the replacement nanny. Do NOT have children with this man. He has already shown you what kind of dad he is.

There is a lot of deflection from him. Look up DARVO.

Do not have a baby with him.

There was never a clearer LTB than your posts.

So sorry but you will never be happy continuing this relationship.

What do YOU get out of this relationship op?
He has (and I hate this term but it's so apt) a nanny with a fanny and a housekeeper, who's very obviously being trained to put up and shut up. You sound very lonely. I bet my bottom doller he totally love bombed you. He doesn't come across as a very nice person.

If this is true, I’m in disbelief and despair you still up with this selfish moron and that he gets paid to ‘teach’ children. I wonder if he drips with misogyny in the school setting.
Why oh why would you even consider having a child with this awful specimen of manhood?

Bloody hell OP, I’m so sad reading your posts. Please please leave this man. You have one life and this is no way to live it. X

He is not more than a dad and a husband, he isn’t really either. He has manipulated you into feeling guilty, when you have nothing to be guilty about, and as soon as you stand up for yourself, he resorts to insults. He has really done a number on your self esteem. Please don’t put up with it.

Practice clear statements op, ‘I am certainly not happy.’ ‘I am finding it hard to see what you add to my life’ ‘life would be easier without you’ ‘if you think my going out is treating your children like a burden, it’s so much worse when you do it. They are your children.’
’well yes, treating your partner like the unpaid housekeeper does make you the bad guy.’
‘nothing has been resolved and you still treat me badly, of course I’m still unhappy.’

Get out of there while you’re still young enough to meet someone else to have your family with. You’ll kick yourself for how much time you’ve wasted already once you’re on the other side of this.

He sounds selfish and cruel and like he’s been enabled by his mum all his life. He’s not going to change.

Get yourself a man you deserve- who’ll want to spend time with you and would punch anyone who dared to mock your stammer.

I worked with one teacher (he was the union rep and crap at it). He’d go in the staff room and make himself a coffee in a cafetière. Then he’d pour the cafetière down the sink and leave all the grains plastered everywhere. Teachers can be sexist wankers, too.

@Turtleneckhead have you ever spoken to his ex? Why did they split up?

I can probably guess...

He shouldn't be taking you for granted looking after HIS children. They're his responsibility so every time he wants to go out he needs to ask you if you can look after them.

I would absolutely NOT be having a child with someone like this.

The term cocklodger springs to mind at the moment...

Get yourself a hobby on the same night as one of his and let him arrange his own babysitting.

Or even better- find a better man!! This one sounds awful.

He mocked your stutter?
He MOCKED your STUTTER?!

This alone tells me exactly what kind of hideous excuse for a human being you are married to.

He doesn't love you, he doesn't even like you. All you are to him is a free babysitter, cleaner, cook and I am guessing someone to have sex with. Please, please, please, re-read your posts, and I mean really read them, as if someone else, (perhaps a lovely friend that you care about) had written them and think what you would want to say to them.

Can you leave? Is the house in both your names? Do you have somewhere else to go? Please don't have children with him. You can leave right now, today, just walk away and be free to meet someone wonderful and have the life you deserve. Or stay single, either way, think how much lovelier and joyful your life will be.

I think you should look at the facts here OP, if you’re worried about expecting too much from him. He has two kids. He leaves them in your care while he does his hobbies. You question him and he shuts you down and mocks you. I think that is the biggest red flag over your future relationship.

He is not showing any indication of taking your concerns seriously so you now have a decision to make now:
1 - stay with him, have kids as planned and spent loads of time and energy trying to change him.
2 - put TTC on hold and give him one final ultimatum. If he doesn’t change, then leave.
3 - Cut your losses and leave now. Try to find someone who is worth having a relationship with.

The risk with 1 is that you have the kids and eventually leave him anyway. You also know how that will look as it will be the same as the kids he already has. I personally think if he hasn’t changed by now, he never will.

I am a teacher on holiday. My husband is at work. I have kids. I try to get absolutely everything done in the day so that when he gets home he doesn’t have to do anything, because he is working and even if I do that, I will still have more time to myself than he does. When he has days off and I’m at work, he does the same for me.

Run for your life

OP, why does he even want another baby? He just wants to game all day, so you tell me, why on earth would he be actively keen to give himself more responsibility? His only reason is to secure your place as the House Bitch.

"House bitch"? He told you what he thinks of women, right there. You're there for housework and childcare and sex. He doesn't want "couple time" with you as he has no actual interest in you as a person.

If you have kids with him, this is your life forever. Doing all the care for his kids as well as your own and doing everything else at home. And working ft, as a teacher presumably can't support you all.

He mocks how you speak when you say anything he doesn't want to hear. He doesn't like you or respect you.

It's concerning that this man is a teacher.

There is a thread that's been running for several weeks called 'There we are then'. This woman has seen the light after her previous threads on being blindsided by DH saying he wanted to divorce. Please read them, she was in a similar situation.

Sorry, are you saying this manchild doesn’t even load the dishwasher?

Look up ‘The Becky Eckle’

Educate yourself so that you can see this lump of lard for what he is.

He is assuming that having a penis gives him the right to your labour. Your time and energy are just as valuable as his. Your wants and wishes are just as important as his. Your needs matter.

Please don’t have a child with him.

Pretty much was I was going to post. This man isn't going to make you happy now or in the future. He's a selfish bastard using you to look after his kids so he can do what the fuck he wants.

Go, while you're still young enough to have a family with someone else.

Look up DARVO.

He is actually being quite manipulative there.

Also check out Dr Ramani’s book ‘It’s Not Me’ - I’m getting vibes.

But mostly. This man is not long term partner material.