DH wants to be a teenager, no time for me… aibu?

This won't get better. He wants a nanny with a fanny. Leave before you are trapped by having his baby and your life turns really horrendous.

Listen to everyone’s advice previously please…. It’s unanimous. I would also add that if a good friend came to you and said what you have, hand on heart, I’m sure you would say you deserve better, don’t have a child with this man, and leave for your own sanity. Think long term. It won’t get any better and by having a child you’re just going to make your future life a lot worse…. You are so young and you deserve better.

He doesn’t seem to like you very much does he? You’re not happy but he is so why would he change.

You know what to do OP.

I've been in an abusive relationship and I agree it's hard to leave.

In contrast it is very easy to avoid further commitment, and TTC is very easy to avoid, just keep pills hidden in a drawer or in an emergency there's MAP.

Does a lazy guy who has two kids really want the bother of one or two more?

It wouldn't surprise me if he was on notice to improve.
I'm surprised he's not planning anything for the term ahead, though, he won't get away with that.

Apart from anything else, it's dreadful to think this man is a teacher and mocks a stutter.

You are this mans free labour. I bet he met you not long after finishing with his last partner, he couldn't possibly rear the kids on his own.

Think long and hard before having children with this man.

Ltb, he quite simply has 0 respect for you and having kids with him will seriously affect your mh.
You have been warned multiple times!!!

Is writing all of this down helping you see what a massive bellend you have married? He sees housework and solo childcare as WOMEN'S work. Wouldn't want such a misogynistic child teaching my children.

Have you at least started looking at leaving him or are you just going to bury your head in the sand and continue to be abused?

Manipulative men trap women. He will have love bombed her, probably told her tales of how his ex didn’t connect with him or that she was controlling and wouldn’t let him go and do a hobby and then telling her how much of a connection he felt with her etc. Probably introduced her to the kids early to get her to feel more involved and connected too soon. Almost certainly made it look like he was an active parent, doing all the domestic stuff at home (because he had to - there was no one else to do it for him). Probably proposed really early because of his deep their connection us, etc. Then once she was hooked and married to him, he’d have started dropping things like certain chores - he’s so good at manipulation he likely got her convinced that she needed to do more at home so should be doing them. Then it was likely childcare, slowly increasing.

Men don’t get women in this position by showing who they are from the beginning. They do it slowly through gaslighting, abuse, bullying, manipulation, etc. They get into her head and convince her SHE is the problem. Likely isolates her from friends and family so they can’t see what’s happening. If she starts to question he’ll suggest a baby and she will agree, desperate for things to return to the paradise it started as. Little realising that a baby is just a manipulation tactic to shut her up for a while, then a means to trap her and control her.

If you’ve never been in an abusive relationship it can be hard to understand how it happens. You assume they were always an arsehole and can’t understand why she’s made the choices she has. Women in this position don’t need others berating her - they need kindness, support and showing what is happening, why it isn’t normal or right, and help to escape.

He isn't involved with the kids he has now and lumps it on you without any consideration for your needs... What makes you think anything will change after you have a baby together? You're 30, you're still very young. Call it a starter marriage and leave him. He's never going to grow up.

I don't think she should tell him anything. Just immediately get on the pill and leave ASAP.

Unless I'm missing something TTC is batshitmental. I have no clue what was going through the OPs head to think that was ever a good idea.

Ditto the marriage!? Was he really good at the domestic stuff and all of a suddenly got rubbish at it? Seems to me like the OP's thought process was "This guy's rubbish at the things that are important. I know, I'll marry him. Oh, he's still crap, I know, I'll TTC with him. It's just beyond my ken.

Please don't have a child with this manchild.

It's not hard to see why his ex wife chucked him back in the pond. The only question is why haven't you?

You know what’s worse than this?

this, and having a baby tied to him.
this, and having a baby to look after while he complains about being tired yet spends 89% of his time still gaming.

Tell him playing on his game until the early hours isn’t being a teenager, it’s being a boneidle and pathetic pos.

How long have you been together?

He’s a teacher so he talks most of the day. He’s good at talking and you struggle to argue back with him. But that doesn’t make him right all the time.
He whines about being more than a dad and a husband. The trouble is he’s not being a husband. Both him and his mum are pushing you to take his place as a parent but again it doesn’t make it right. If you weren’t there he’d have to be an active parent in the evenings as well as during the day.

So you currently provide him with r free childish minding services for his kids and are planning to have another with him while he continues his lifestyle. There is absolutely no evidence in your post that he is willing to change and take his fair share of responsibility fir looking after his children/ your planned baby, or do anything that interferes with his life. The offer to pay for for you to go to a spa on your own, while he games all day on your anniversary, really does show how little he thinks of you as a couple.

Is that the life you really want? . If not, don't have a baby with this man. You may love him and desperately want a baby, but this man seems to love only himself.

I'm the same age as you and I love a gaming session but would never play all day and night (or ask a partner to cook for me so I could game! ), because things need to get done and I don't even have kids.

Don't have a kid with him and be stuck with him in your life forever, cut him loose. You can have everything evening doing what you like when you aren't pandering to a man child. You'll miss the time together at first and it will be hard but it will be worth it.

Indeed, and apparently no prep for the term ahead...

Video games, what is he, 13? Read some books, man.

He clearly thinks that you are his house bitch. It doesn't matter to him that he has a very long holiday and is able to relax nearly all day. The domestic chores belong to his house bitch. Sorry to repeat such a horrible term but this is what he says and what he thinks.

PLEASE do not have a baby with him. It will be 1000% worse. Leave him and find a much better life. Let his mummy look after his children while he swans off to have fun every night. Do not have a miserable life.

I don’t know you, but I want so much more for your life than him. Before kids- now- you still have a chance of happiness! Of being respected and not spoken to like trash. Get out and book yourself a term time holiday. He doesn’t even spend time alone with you.

My darling love - run. As fast as you can.

He doesn't want a partner. He wants a mother.

He doesn't understand that you want to spend time with him as man and wife, not mum and dad, he expects you to do all the housework when he is off work and you are not, he is out 4 nights a week and then gaming the rest of the time, he imitates your fucking stutter (that broke my heart) - he's a disrespectful cunt and an absolute waste of space of a human.

Please reconsider this relationship. It won't get better than this - and when you have kids, it will get worse. I can't see a world where you will be less lonely without him, than with him. It is so much harder living with someone that treats you like you're invisible, than living alone.

Honestly, my fanny completely clamped shut just reading about him. He's a selfish manchild. RUN.

FFS LEAVE THIS LOSER. Do not, under any circumstance, have a child with him. Raise you bar - leave him! god, he sounds like such a loser. And hes a teacher?!