DH wants to be a teenager, no time for me… aibu?

When his kids are there, he needs to be there with them. Doesn't matter if they're asleep. It's more controlling from his side as he's basically got you cornered into having to stay at home.

As others have said DO NOT HAVE KIDS WITH THIS MAN

not mine, its an MN standard.

I’m not worried about the one off occasional gaming 24 hours where you get to have a spa 25 hours as well.

I AM worried that he has hobbies most nights and you’re expected to play mum to his kids every other week when you’re thinking of bringing a child into this.

You’re mad of you think he’s going to drop all his hobbies.

I can't imagine why his ex left him ...

Stop babysitting when his kids are here, that's madness.

You do know your just the babysitter right? He doesn't give a shit long as someone's there to look after his kids so he can do what he wants. Don't have a baby with him.

I had to read that twice to make sure I hadn’t made a mistake.

So he goes out FOUR nights a week, even when his children are there and expects you to stay in and look after them.

He then spends your anniversary gaming all day, pops out from his gaming room to give you a card and then fucks off to go and do his hobby?

Absolutely atrocious. I really would warn against procreating with this man, you’ll be in for a lifetime of misery.

What a selfish bastard.

I saw this from an experience, don’t forget that the kids get older and their bed times get later. What feels like a fairly easy task at the moment will become much more difficult when they are awake the whole time your DH is out, plus you have a baby/young child you have to do bedtime for 4 nights out of 7 (as a minimum). As others have said, please don’t have a baby with this man. He is showing you the kind of dad he is already.

come ON OP. Don't be that twit.

Get rid. Do NOT have a child with this. You literally are the Nanny With the Fanny in this scenario. I bet you cook, wash and clean too?

Seriously - what do you think your life will look like if you have a baby with him?

Do you expect him to miraculously change?

He's a class A dick and in your shoes my vagina would have shut up shop months ago, let alone TTC with him.

Stop looking after his kids. Go find your own hobby or social life.
Leave - as it ain't gonna get any better - ever.

The fact that HIS children are in bed when he goes out is irrelevant. You can't go anywhere because HIS children are in the house and HE goes out 4 nights a week on what's supposed to be HIS contact week. How can you not see that he is taking the p*ss OP?
You need to sort this out with him. He is already behaving like a teenager - selfish and self indulgent. DO NOT have a child with this immature individual.

At the moment they might be asleep, so they’re what, under 8? In short order they won’t be asleep, they’ll be up and arguing with you about screen time, or wanting to go out to their own hobby (cubs, brownies, tai kwando, etc) and asking when daddy’s home or when can they go home to mummy’s. What will you do then when your “D”H refuses to give up any of his teenager lifestyle?

As for the gaming, again- look at what he does. He is doing what he wants to do. You can’t make him want to spend time with you, but you can see his behaviour for what it is: disrespectful to you, disrespectful to his kids, and incredibly selfish.

There’s a thread knocking about by a poster calls PithyBeaker whose ex behaved quite similarly to your H. When she gave him an ultimatum it quickly became apparent to her as well as everyone else that he only wanted her for her house, and her life admin. I think you are in a similar position, I’m really sorry to say, your H wants you there to babysit his kids and to provide life admin, sex, and presents (did he give you an anniversary present?).

If I’m wrong- and I hope I am- then when you tell him how concerned you are and how hurt, he’ll pull his finger out and behave like a proper husband and father. If he doesn’t do that PDQ then he’ll never do it.

This in spades!!! As someone has already pointed out, you are a single parent to his kids, that in itself is absolutely batshit!

So if you weren’t there he would have to either give up his hobby because he would have to be in the house for HIS children or have every other weekend and pay child maintenance.

But instead he can do both because he has trained you to expect not even the bare minimum.

You will be miserable in your life if you stick this out.

Well, his kids won't be asleep when they are older and I very much doubt he will give up his hobbies to be around them. He's trained you up for the long haul including ttc so that you are the NWTF as long as required. I also can see why his first marriage ended and if you have any sense you will follow suit.

Fucking hell, stop trying to reproduce with this weapon, whether you stay with him being a doormat or not. He already has 2 kids he’s not taking proper care of it really isn’t fair to bring another one into the equation. If you do for some reason stay with his sorry arse, stop being available to take care of those kids all the time and start going out and getting a social life or some peace away from him. If you’re busy you won’t miss him so much. But honestly you shouldn’t be putting up with this half arsed set up.

Absolutely don't have a baby with him.

It's only going to get worse.

He’s not looking after the kids he already has, so don’t give him another one.

😂Outstanding...

have you heard the phrase "nanny with a fanny"?

Yeah, you’ll be a single mum if you have kids with this “man child”.

If you procreate with this utter dick, you've only got yourself to blame.

Stop babysitting his children, he'll kick off (of course). The whole point of him marrying you was to get you to be a nanny.

File for divorce asap. You have no future with a man like this.
You can realise it sooner or later. I recommend sooner.

My cousin had a husband like yours. Her husband's child used to arrive and she looked after her. He went out.

They divorced ( after having more children, oh dear...) They used to visit him but ( of course) he wouldn't be there; his new third partner looked after them.

My cousin (by then) was not surprised!

You’ll be on here in a couple of years moaning what a terrible dad he is.
You are in the fortunate position you know he will be a crap dad as he is now a crap husband.

I would be bored stupid if I had to put up with this man. Gaming is such a juvenile pastime. I would consider him to be unintelligent if this was his prime focus for spending his time. Throw him back, OP. There’s better men out there for you.

Stop ttc, and stop facilitating his life. He’s not your team mate at all.