DH wants to be a teenager, no time for me… aibu?

He’s shown you who he is. This is it. This is the level of respect he has for you. This is the kind of parent he is. His priority is him.

If you stay with him and have children it will be the same. Worse even. Why is he not with the mother if his children? What does she say?

I would think long and hard about how you want your life to be. My view - you deserve way better than this and he is using you.

Don’t have a baby with this man unless you are willing to do absolutely everything, and have him moan about you asking for any input from him at all.

The more I read, the angrier I get for you OP.

So he’s managed to get 50/50 childcare but leaves close to 3/4 of it to you? And then expects you to be there the rest of the time too so actually you’re probably doing it all, you just don’t realise it. Isn’t he a catch? Guarantee he only wanted 50/50 to either get out of paying maintenance, punish his ex or both. Given your update about him manipulating you, and mocking your stutter, I’d bet both - he’s a nasty, abusive cunt.

He’s persuaded you that if you complain about the imbalance, it means you don’t care about his kids - what a horrible, nasty thing to do. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

Please get your head around these responses - you posted because something told you things weren’t right. Listen to your gut. You’ve married a bad man. Many of us have done that. Take it from someone trapped due to kids and finances - RUN whilst you aren’t tied to him forever.

Do you own or rent? Whose name is everything in?

I would strongly suggest you stop TTC unless you want to be tied to him forever (and if you do escape, know your child will be 50/50 with his new wife doing all the childcare - is that what you want)?

Then get your ducks in a row. Your eyes are wide open now - start seeing everything for what it truly is. If you can, speak to his ex about how they ended and see if anything sounds familiar.

Good luck

Please don't have a child with home. He will be worse if you have a baby and he's already awful

The point of understanding that a man with children is dad first is to understand that he will have to prioritize parenting. Not that he will guilt and shame you into providing the parenting for him.
Anyone who mocks your stutter doesn't deserve to be in your life.

I was LTB until your last line where he mocked your stutter.

I'm on my way over with a shovel. You need a need patio done up ASAP let's get to digging girls.

A man (even a teen wannabe dickhead loser) who imitates a stutter is a bully. OP, you have dodged a bullet. Raise your standards. You deserve so much better.

What the actual fuck....how can you write this out and still stay with this man 🤮

He imitated your stutter?? What an unkind and disrespectful man. He has manipulated you, with the help of his mother, in to behaviours that suit him and doormat and diminish you. You deserve so much more than this. This is a user,

Oh op, this is a deeply sad read. What on earth has happened to you in your life that you think it’s a good idea to ttc or get married to this awful man? He is utterly repulsive, a useless husband, even worse dad, nasty to you, lazy, selfish, I could go on. How has he managed to gaslight you in to thinking his kids are your responsibility?!? Yes, someone has to stay in when they’re asleep, and that someone is, obviously (sorry but it is) him. Not you. Please wake up. Please speak to someone in real life. Tell them what you’ve said here and they will look at you as if you cannot possibly be being serious.

Please do not have a baby with this man. As for the argument that you’d be in looking after your own children. You shouldn’t be forced to do that 4 nights a week either. Let him raise his own children if family is so important to him!

First post, as always, nails it.

If you need more applicable Mumsnet advice, LTB.

Please, please don't have a baby with this child. I'm so, so sorry you're having to deal with this ❤️

Forgot about imitating your stutter, please dump! (Some of my most beloved relatives stutter.)

He is a walking red flag. I'm sorry he imitated your stutter, what a nasty person he is.

It is not too late to get out now. You will find someone lovely to have kids with who will want to spend time with your children and with you separately, and with whom you will enjoy the rest of your life. He has shown his true colours. Any apologies will cover up the cracks and waste more of your years. You have one life. Bin him.

Dear op, your husband is highly manipulative. You're not selfish, he is. Yes, he is more than a husband, but you get to be more than just a wife. Anyway, he's not really much of a husband is he? When you have small kids you're in the thick of it, so he has to be willing to compromise his hobbies. You should have as much downtime as him.

Imitated your stutter? That’s an appalling thing to do and must have been very hurtful. I wonder what makes it hard for you to see how truly awful this situation is for you? Think about the type of relationship you want and then compare it with the one you have. Ask yourself , is it true that I want to be with someone who imitates my stutter, who shuts down my attempts to speak up, who uses me as a free babysitter and someone who would rather choose FIFA over a night with me? Work on your self esteem until you finally recognise you deserve better.

This. Utter loser.

It’s funny you’re being told that you’re not treating them like your own kids if you go out but yet they are his own kids and he’s not stopping in.

yabvvvvu to put up with this shit @Turtleneckhead

Have higher standards for yourself

And please god, don’t have any kids with him.

Imitating your stutter? WTF. That’s horrible. Know your worth OP, and you're worth more than this excuse of a man-teen. Ick.

His mum is on his side @Turtleneckhead so she doesn’t get lumbered with being his childcare skivvy.

It’s not hard to guess why his ex packed him off - he won’t change. He hasn’t learned he’s the problem.

He is cruel, manipulative, lazy and immature. How on earth you can woke up the desire to TTC with him is beyond me. Sack him off and try again with a grown up. You deserve better.

His imitating your stutter is unforgivable never mind the other stuff. He's a selfish immature twat. Seriously you deserve someone who prioritises you some of the time.

Omg please set up a trip advisor for men! That would be amazing!

Oh and mothers facilitate abuse by their sons - ask anyone working at women’s aid.