DH wants to be a teenager, no time for me… aibu?

Sounds like he will upset when he loses his house keeper.

Oh my dear. He is catfishing, you and his effing mother should stay out of it guilt tripping you also.
He is a pig for taking the piss, for that is what he did, out of your stutter.
I dont think telling him your too busy looking after his kids on his hobby nights will help, as he will just stay in gaming. What is it with grown men and gaming?!!!
I think you have to rethink this relationship. You are getting nothing out of it and I think you should just go.
Don't have a baby with him, you might think it will change things but it will just make it worse. To quote another poster its not you its him. Leave as soon as you can or better still chuck him out.
Your just unlucky with your choice of partner but make your life better and that means without him and his mum and his kids that he dosnt even care about.
Hope you leave and wish you good luck and happiness.

Stop ttc. Stop facilitating his childishness by minding HIS children. He's an immature twat. Get out and find an adult.

It sounds like he's been grinding you down for a while. I just got out of an abusive relationship myself. I got lucky, he started devaluing me very early on so we only lasted a couple of months but the trauma bond was still very hard to break! I'm actually still not there for various reasons.

If you can just disappear and never contact him again that would be best thing for you.

What the hell is in this for you? You have a useless teenage lump of a man child using you for free childcare, and he does not give a damn about you op.

Find your self respect and dump him.
You are then free to live your own life, meet someone gorgeous with maturity in time and be free of this utter shit show.

How deeply unattractive, he wants a live in mother and nurse maid, not a wife.

He sounds abusive and awful.

OP, stop listening to what he says and look instead at what he does. It’s someone’s actions that we should take notice of not their words. We can make our mouths say anything. You need to leave.

He saw you coming op he expects you to treat his dc as top priority whilst he prioritises himself. Where do you come into this your a nanny. I woukd rethink ttc he will do nothing with a baby as thr man hadnt grown up. Theres a reason his ex left.

I cannot imagine wanting to live like this. He wants you to exist to facilitate his lifestyle and doesn’t appear to do anything to improve yours.

Totally selfish and his mum sounds like an enabling pita as well.

You are definitely not being unreasonable
My husband put gaming first, even when we had our daughter. I put up with it for 10 years.
That is why he's my ex hubby.
Some guys just never grow up.
Sorry to say it won't change and you're wasting your time even trying to get him to

He has chosen you to be a nanny for his children, you're also handy to cook meals, pay some bills and have sex with. If he loves you he'd spend time with you and not prioritise his computer games and hobbies.
I can see why he has an ex.
I can guarantee that when you leave him he'll be irritated that he'll have to give up some hobbies and he'll be asking his mum to help out.
I'm so sorry you deserve much better, someone who will love and cherish your time together and want to hang out with you.

This is awful, this is who is . DO NOT HAVE A BABY WITH THIS MAN!!!!!!

You need to leave though I suspect you already know that.

He mocks you. You try to bring up concerns and he turns them around on you so you look like the bad guy. He is emotionally manipulative and honestly, sounds just like a stroppy teenager who doesnt get thier own way already so he is not far off!

This man already has 4 days a week for his hobbies and then spends most of his time gaming, leaving you to do the donkey work. This will not get better and if you have a child with this man you will be a solo parent!

Also biggest ick ever, if my partner told me they wanted to be a teenager again. He sounds like he regrets having kids tbh and uses you to just be his childcare.

You should also be allowed to say you dont like doing something (playing games) and do something else as a couple without him being an arse about it. It cant be about what he wants all the time! He wants a day doing nothing being a teenager, tell him you do too and see how he likes it being lumped with his own kids all day while you do what you want. He says hed be fine with you doing a spa day but i would put money on the fact he would hate it if he had to actually look after his own offapring solo.

It's not the gaming per se but leaving his kids with you while he goes and does hobbies 4 nights a week I can't get over. He just married a babysitter.

Unfortunately, you have married a selfish, lazy and manipulative man. No wonder his first wife divorced him. Sadly, he hasn't learned from the failure of his first marriage. He has found a new partner to look after his DC and allow him to carry on behaving like a teenager (apologies to all the wonderful teenagers who do not behave like this!), doing as he pleases. He then gaslights you if you point this out and his mother even joins in.
I agree with everyone else-do not have a baby with him ever, divorce him and enjoy your freedom or find another man who wants a grown up partnership with give and take.

The man is an addict. This is an addiction, like alcohol or drugs or gambling. You need help to decide how to deal with his addiction like you would of he was an alcoholic.

I would stop the TTC and start looking for support in being married to an addict.

Just read that he imitated your stutter - he's an absolute bastard, he really is, and you need to leave him. Now!
My son has a stammer and I'd take apart anyone who took the piss out of him for it.
He doesn't deserve you. He's very clever at turning it all back on you (and his bloody mother can fuck off too!) in order to keep you subservient but please op, see the light - you're kind, you're loyal and you can do so much better than this loser x

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/2268977-The-Abuser-Profiles
Read this op
You might not consider yourself as being abused, but by God you are. Talking is going to get you nowhere with him. Pack your stuff and go. Don't consider couples therapy with an abuser. He's done such a job on you, you'll end up in a worse position. Go, dont look back.

Why husband if ex-husband shaped?

Please OP, do not start that baby.
This is a textbook step in shackling women to guys like him, whose own kids need another mum while he fecks off and enjoys the single life. They get you pregnant so you'll automatically encompass his older kids into your own mothering embrace, and this will prevent your leaving, or having any future independence.
Anyone reading your post will recognise this crafty process, along with the manifold ways in which he makes you doubt your own senses: I usually avoid the term, but by God, it constitutes gaslighting, on top of his other abuses.

There is nothing to be said in favour of this relationship. All it is doing is robbing you of your vitality, your optimism, and belittling you and erasing all sense of yourself, all the while enslaving you as his housekeeper and childminder.
Why would you stay?

Your husband is manipulative and controlling. He turns everything against you so you feel like a bad person. You are not a bad person. He's a jerk who has convinced you that you don't care about his kids if you don't stay home with them 4 nights a week alone with them. HE is the Dad. He should be home with them whether they are awake or asleep. You have a right to go out and see people whenever you please. Please leave him.

What's stopping you from leaving OP - is it finances?

DH has hobbies in the evenings on Mondays, Tuesday, Thursdays and Fridays. Obviously on those days on the weeks his kids are here I have to stay in and make sure there’s an adult in the house.

What's obvious about it? Surely the obvious course would be for him to miss his hobbies and stay home with HIS kids when they are at his home?

@Turtleneckhead

BONG BONG BONG! DARVO alert, DARVO alert! He is taking situations where you are right and he is wrong and turning them around to make you look like the 'bad guy and he (or his DC) the 'victims'. You can and will never win when someone does this, all you can do is make the changes YOU think are needed without 'consulting' with him. And those 'changes' can include leaving. Because no, his behaviour is not compatible with a good marriage.

For example there is no 'obviously you have to stay in' on his hobby nights. You are choosing to do that (no blame). But you could easily tell him that from now on if there is something you want to do on those nights you're sure he will be happy to cancel his hobby to stay with HIS children. After all 'they're no burden, right?'. In fact, I'd probably sign up for a book club, hobby, or class on some of his 'hobby nights' myself just to see how 'not a burden' he finds them. And if he complains, remind him that looking after his children shouldn't be a burden to him since he believes it's not a burden for you. And his mum is backing him up because she doesn't want to be called on to babysit 4 nights a week. Sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander.

As far as his gaming habit, it's sort of the same thing. You aren't going to change it, but in this case you can either put up with it or leave.

And FGS do NOT get pregnant unless you are planning to be a single parent who has no real support from the other parent.

He is a gaslighting piece of shit OP. I had an ex who used to do the same thing. By the end of the relationship I didn't know who I was or what I believed anymore.

Do not have a baby with this man. He will leave you to do literally everything. His mum is just as bad as he is and will assist him in taking advantage of you- she is likely the reason he is the way he is.

Don't put up with someone who ignores your feelings, mocks you, and twists your words to make you feel like you are going crazy. This relationship is not real love, not from his side anyway. It's manipulation and using.
Run.