DH wants to be a teenager, no time for me… aibu?

I have so many things I could say but I’m just going to say this:

He is abusing you.
Make a plan to leave him and don’t go back.

You have one life, you deserve so much more than this.

Please get out of this abusive relationship you deserve so much more.

He is a bully and a bad example to children. He should be banned from producing any!!!

Leave him. You will be stuck parenting any child you have with him on your own. (As a teacher myself I am astounded at how much free time he has in an evening, makes me wonder how he manages his job).

This.
Get out with your sanity asap
You deserve so much more

If you stay with him you only have one person to blame. End of story.

When your son is an adult you have to rely a bit on how you see them behave. One of my sons is very respectful to his partner and has never perved over girls or had lots of girlfriends. I can’t see him ever asking a girl for nudes.

My other son has genuine women friends (not ones he’s hoping to date one day!) and walks them home, checks they’re okay etc. He also told his mate off for being disrespectful about his girlfriend. When he had a girlfriend he seemed very respectful around her. I’d be genuinely amazed if he pestered girls for nudes.

Let’s say 5-10% of boys do this. That’s still an awful lot and especially if they try their luck with multiple women.

I think it’s connected to entitlement. It’s the kind of boys/men that always have to have the last word, have to be pandered to, that kind of thing that I’m guessing are guilty of this.

I’m sure the mother of his children was glad to see the back of him. You’re not a team. He’s an overgrown man-child who prioritises his hobbies over you and his children. He’s also enabled by his mother. Playing a video game together is only like watching a film together if you both enjoy it. Don’t tie yourself to this man, he won’t change.

Jesus Christ OP, 'some kind of house bitch' because you ask him to load the dishwasher when he's at home and you're at work? WHO talks like that under any circumstances, let alone when it's obviously a fair thing to ask?

This man appears to have no respect for the women in his life, and his mother enables that. Stop listening to either.

I feel for the girls that this man teaches, I'm sure the contempt seeps through there too. Plus, his job should have taught him a long time ago that you don't ridicule anyone's speech impairment, let alone your wife's. He's an immature twat.

I'm sorry OP, I don't know how this man hoodwinked you into marrying him, but you'll be better off not having kids than having kids with him. Don't stay with him because 'the clock is ticking'. Get out.

He sounds bloody awful and you are being gaslighted. What are you getting out of this relationship’? My guess is nothing and it’s affecting your self esteem too. So why not make plans to leave?

DSis that is

my DS fusses and talks about the unpleasant son far more than her other children. It’s almost as if she admitted he’s a bad un she’d have to admit to herself something may have been less than ideal about his upbringing so she doubles down on pretending he’s marvellous.

OP sorry I haven't RTFT so apologies if I'm repeating other posters. Get yourself over to the step parent board to see your future. Stuck at home with a baby, looking after his DC while he is at his numerous hobbies. If you tell him you can't do Tuesday he'll accuse you of not loving his kids and give you the silent treatment. You need to stop enabling him and definitely put a halt on the TTC. He sounds like a midlife crisis waiting to happen.

A while ago there was a post of mn about a 15yo boy asking a girl for nudes and getting quite aggressive. The op was enquiring if any sons didn’t do this. Cue 500 responses ‘my ds would never do this, he’s always polite and respectful’ . Both my dds, now 18 and 16, have been asked by boys for nudes dozens of time. I’m not exaggerating, we talk and keep a list. It doesn’t add up.

Leave him. This is not normal behaviour for a modern man. You can do better.

There are two posts right now I can think of here on MN from mother's coddling their violent sons and of course they are good lovely boys according to them

I do know that some men get abused also, but most of these posts Im mentioning are about men.
Then again a lot of these post say that the DM wont have a bad word said about their sons.

Genuine consideration here, I do know two men who were emotionally and partly physically abused by their ex wives.

My DGD has a school friend who is in the middle of an acrimonious divorce, the abuser is the mother and her DD, my DGDs friend is now being emotionally abused by her mother.

Agencies are now involved.

Many PPs post here about abusive mothers.

It is all very sad, causes so much harm and sometimes is passed on to the next generation.

He got married to have a "house bitch" and raise his kids on his custody time.

Time to leave.

I was just thinking that there is a lot of posts on MN about selfish DHs / partners. Where on earth do they all come from!?. Who is breeding these people?. It is mind boggling how these men get away with such awful behaviour.
Is it thier up bringing, how thier DF treated thier DMs ? What is it.
I just hope that future men are taught better in how to behave. I am truly shocked.

FML, I'm guessing he had some redeeming features for you to have married him in the first place, but how he's managed to get TWO women to put up with him is beyond me. Clearly this man is not long term material. It may feel very big and scary now, but when you look back in the future you'll know you've dodged a massive bullet.

@Turtleneckhead Jesus Christ! What a horrible bastard for mocking your stammer! That alone would be enough for me to leave.

Completely agree. Your husband could get very angry, very quickly if you confront him in person about you leaving. You need to protect yourself and get your stuff out without him knowing. He is abusive and who knows how he will react when he's faced with losing his nanny and housebitch. Please take care of yourself.

@Turtleneckhead

You've gotten a lot of information and advice. I hope you've taken some of it on board.

How are you feeling about your marriage now?

What's your housing situation @Turtleneckhead ? Do you rent? Own? Own jointly? Just wondering realistically how easy it would be to separate.

Do you generally do all the housework?

It's a very childish response saying "house bitch" regarding unloading a dishwasher and hanging out some laundry...makes it sound like he does nothing around the home.

He sounds way too immature to be married, little mind be a father. His mother is an enabler, and they've both manipulated you to be compliant. I think you've woken up now. This marriage will never be a happy one. Honestly, cut your losses and divorce, you're still young, don't live in this unhappiness any longer.

I would STRONGLY ADVISE you not to tell him you're leaving him.

If you are renting, as soon as he's back at work, I'd take a day off work, get help from friends or family and move all your stuff out. Stay with a friend or family for a few weeks if you can until you find a place of your own. Email the letting agent to end your tenancy and make it clear you have had to leave due to domestic abuse (as he is subjecting you to a form of abuse), and that they must remove your name from the tenancy, so you won't owe more than a month's rent. I would literally just have him come home to your stuff cleared out, he doesn't deserve a note or explanation. Then I'd file the online divorce petition within the first week that you've gone.

If you own, obviously it's more tricky, but we can offer advice if you let us know the situation...