AIBU to be angry after a girl faked pregnancy so my son could respond to her messages?

Think you have heard only heard moms take on this & we don’t what he said to her verbally. He may have asked for pictures, we don’t know. There are 2 sides to every story, if he hadn’t said he only wanted her for sex then none of this needed to have happened.

And I genuinely think attacking obvious victims of sexual harassment, and wanting to "hush up" things that happened to minors because "they're 18 now" is creepy behaviour, as was your infantalizing him (the "like daddy" comment....).

Your posts turn mt stomach, tbh.

This. He was honest, she knew he only wanted sex, which has always gone on, and then she stupidly chose to pretend she was pregnant. 🙄

She’s not very bright, if she thought she could keep that lie going.

Ne needs to forget it and her now, and get on with his life.

Well it is a crime. So ultimately it would be a police matter.

But I also think OPs Son can't feign innocence if he had discussed sex/contraception etc with this woman.

The drip feeding from OP made it was more confusing that it needed to be.
If the OP had stated the Son was 17 and was harrassed and coerced into sex, that's different...but OP seems to have implied it was consensual and their anger is around the fictional pregnancy.

She was clearly persistent before he agreed, I don't know if it reached the point of coercion. He ultimately agreed to casual sex, then she started harassing him.

Feel free to report me if you think I'm the OP.

Now - what of his behaviour (at least, pre pregnancy lie and the resulting stress) do you think indicates he is "messed up"?

Wow that is a really really horrible thing to say about a young person who is being mistreated and sexually harrassed. I hope you don’t have children and if so, I hope there are other adults in their life that have more sense around these issues. How embarrassing!

Genuinely surprised at this.

If anyone had any sort of role with a school, I wouldn't want them to take a "well, they're 18 now, none of my business" view on an apparent culture of (possibly underage) students sending "nudes", unsolicited, to (definitely underage) students.

Guess the world has passed me by a bit.

I suspect you're OP under a different username.

The enabling is laughable.

So was he coerced into sex?
Or was it consensual as you previously said?

Two messed up young people that need to learn boundaries, action and consequence.

And his bad behavior was what? Finally agreeing to have sex, but then refusing a repeat? Or a harshly-worded rejection after she kept badgering him?

If this a new "#bekind - even to sex pests" thing?

It’s a shame it has happened but as they are both 18 it’s nobody else’s business really. I don’t think your DH should be telling the school - what does he hope to achieve @PithySloth

I disagree, I think most, if not all, have said that faking a pregnancy was terrible and she was very much in the wrong for doing that.

But we haven't got her mother here asking for advice, we've got his mother (asking for advice and seemingly embellishing her story as she doesn't get the responses she wants). And as so many people have said, her son hasn't covered himself in glory in this situation. His behaviour is separate to what she did, and people are allowed to express that.

I am not sure that the OP is a reliable narrator. Given that I don’t feel I have a clear, objective view of the facts. I don’t know what to say. In this situation, I would caution her not to do anything rash, and not to spread info around.

Did he know she was "vulnerable"?

The OP seems to be assessing her as vulnerable over the totality of her behavior, including (especially?) post-sex.

The fact that she had form for lying about pregnancy was discussed after the OP's son mentioned it to his friends.

He said something mean to someone was was persistently sexually harassing him.

You know, like Andrew Tate.

Also he finally agreed to have sex with her as a one-off, and then he wouldn't any more - the little tease!

I also confused about your husband using his governor contacts to involve the school. What has happened to your son is awful but there is an element of karma here; she’s been pursuing him since September and he knew she was vulnerable as his friends have clearly discussed this. Im not saying for a second that her behaviour was justified but he has learned a very valuable lesson here and thankfully without an innocent child being brought into the chaos. Unless your husbands thought is to have a confidential chat with the safeguarding lead of the girls school then im questioning his motives in involving them. Your son sounds like he’s a good kid with a great reputation at school. Does he really want this unfortunate incident to be more widely known by his old headteacher and senior team (who I am sure by the way will keep it confidential but they will still know).

What do you expect mothers to do? This boy did nothing wrong.

I tend to think if someone is being persistently harassed, I don't particularly care how blunt - or even nasty - their "no"s become.

It might depend on how cool you are with sexual harassment, though.

Do not do this

I'd consider her a bit of a cunt. It's one thing to tell someone to leave you alone, but the other bit (I can do better than you) is entirely unnecessary and says a lot about that person.

Also. Irrelevant really, because I don't think OPs Son actually said those words?

If a man was pestering a woman, and she ultimately said "fuck off, I can do better that you", would she be a bully?

That isn't how I understand the timeline. She made repeated advances. He relented on condition it was a casual encounter. After they had sex she kept sending "nudes", despite his requests that she stopped. He ultimately blocked her, then she started setting up fake accounts and continued. Then she did the pregnancy lie.

It's definitely a bit 'six of one, half a dozen of the other' isn't it.

Yes it sounds like the woman was hounding him (but how, if he'd blocked her)..but equally he was abusive by bullying her in saying stuff like he wanted to find more attractive women etc. So whilst he was hurt, I think he's also been handed a lesson in karma for his part in it too.

He definitely needs to learn some boundaries and respect (both for himself and others)

I am not sure if I have got the timings right, but while she was 'harassing' him he did supposedly block her. He then didn't do this again so liked what he was seeing then (the explicit photos).
He then slept with her after supposedly feeling harassed and suicidal, but was rational enough to tell her it was just sex.

To me I don't get it. If you block someone you are not interested in you don't then sleep with them after telling them in an unblocked account ok but it's just sex.

Regardless of the details, I do think that someone in authority (parent/school) needs to be made aware of the situation, just in case she does it again but worse (as you suggested OP, she could accuse someone of assault)

I shouldn't have posted before reading OPs replies, as that was quite the drip-feed.

Well at least it's all in hand now.

Yes social media is terrifying for our young people and sometimes causes more harm than good.

I'm glad your Son spoke to you. Make sure he knows he can speak to you and DH regardless of how embarrassed or shamed he feels, about anything.
It's horrible to think he was struggling with all this for so long and shows the importance of people being mature enough and boundaried enough to use social media platforms.

Good luck OP..hard pill to swallow when your eyes are opened to your kids transition to adulthood and the vulnerabilities that go with that. 🥺