Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

1000 replies

ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy · 26/08/2026 00:07

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

OP posts:
Pinkchickenwine · 27/08/2026 16:55

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 16:49

People that have no empathy for a woman and her disabled husband being purposely put in an anger inducing situation should not be overreacting to her, no.

Are you actually describing OPs replies on this thread as equivalent to the online bullying of children?

I’ve no empathy for someone who gives the wrong person their wrath!

Im saying your analogy of it’s just words on a screen is wrong!

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 17:00

Pinkchickenwine · 27/08/2026 16:55

I’ve no empathy for someone who gives the wrong person their wrath!

Im saying your analogy of it’s just words on a screen is wrong!

Then we are back to hypocrisy.

You expect OP to behave better in a very upsetting situation than you do online where there are zero stakes.

AgnesMcDoo · 27/08/2026 17:03

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 16:50

Yes because no one else would express anger when being purposely stopped from accessing their vehicle for no reason.

There’s expressing anger and then there is swearing at an innocent teen.

FirstOfTheGang · 27/08/2026 17:40

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 16:50

Yes because no one else would express anger when being purposely stopped from accessing their vehicle for no reason.

How many times? It’s not the expressing of anger that people object to. It’s the expressing of anger in a crude and sweary way to a teenager who wasn’t the person who blocked her getting in the car. Do you really not grasp the difference?

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 17:43

AgnesMcDoo · 27/08/2026 17:03

There’s expressing anger and then there is swearing at an innocent teen.

Swearing in front of a teen. Not at, and everyone knows the difference.

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 17:44

FirstOfTheGang · 27/08/2026 17:40

How many times? It’s not the expressing of anger that people object to. It’s the expressing of anger in a crude and sweary way to a teenager who wasn’t the person who blocked her getting in the car. Do you really not grasp the difference?

I’m responding to someone who expressed anger here in a crude and sweary way; who called OP the same thing she called the Dad.

You know the type “Do as I say and not as I do.”

Walkden · 27/08/2026 17:45

"Swearing" about their parent " in front of a teen. Not at, and everyone knows the difference."

Fixed that for you. The minimising of this reprehensible behaviour from an adult is ridiculous.

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 17:47

Walkden · 27/08/2026 17:45

"Swearing" about their parent " in front of a teen. Not at, and everyone knows the difference."

Fixed that for you. The minimising of this reprehensible behaviour from an adult is ridiculous.

I’m not minimizing it but being accurate.

PolkaDotPorridge · 27/08/2026 17:47

You sound like the psycho, how dare you speak to someone like that?! Poor lad.

AgnesMcDoo · 27/08/2026 17:53

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 17:43

Swearing in front of a teen. Not at, and everyone knows the difference.

You are splitting hairs and you know it

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 18:16

AgnesMcDoo · 27/08/2026 17:53

You are splitting hairs and you know it

Absolutely not. There’s a massive difference between being sworn AT and being present for someone swearing. Being called a name vs told someone else is that.

“What the F?”
vs
”Eff you!”

”He’s an XYZ!”
vs
”You’re an XYZ”

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 18:16

PolkaDotPorridge · 27/08/2026 17:47

You sound like the psycho, how dare you speak to someone like that?! Poor lad.

You’re on the internet telling someone they are a psycho. 😂

Foolish1984 · 27/08/2026 18:18

MyArtfulGreySloth · 26/08/2026 00:15

Jesus Christ, don’t they have anything better to do?

This. I couldn’t get police to act when my vehicle was broken into or when my life was literally being threatened by an ex, but they’ll act for this!?

Rosesandthorns66 · 27/08/2026 18:22

Pinkchickenwine · 27/08/2026 16:55

I’ve no empathy for someone who gives the wrong person their wrath!

Im saying your analogy of it’s just words on a screen is wrong!

100% this.

PolkaDotPorridge · 27/08/2026 18:27

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 18:16

You’re on the internet telling someone they are a psycho. 😂

Oh ha ha you’re so funny 🙄 she swore horrifically at a young boy for no reason and she called his father a psycho. Wind your neck in.

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 18:40

PolkaDotPorridge · 27/08/2026 18:27

Oh ha ha you’re so funny 🙄 she swore horrifically at a young boy for no reason and she called his father a psycho. Wind your neck in.

No need for such hyperbole.

This wasn’t a “young boy”.

Nor were her words “horrific”.

You sound quite easily angered yourself. Has your car been ever been intentionally blocked?

Imdunfer · 27/08/2026 18:41

PolkaDotPorridge · 27/08/2026 18:27

Oh ha ha you’re so funny 🙄 she swore horrifically at a young boy for no reason and she called his father a psycho. Wind your neck in.

Lord you must live a sheltered life if your think what she said was "horrific".

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 18:43

Rosesandthorns66 · 27/08/2026 18:22

100% this.

OP has been called “horrific” names on this thread by multiple posters. Shall we phone the police?

Walkden · 27/08/2026 19:07

"What the F?”
vs
”Eff you!”
”He’s an XYZ!”
vs
”You’re an XYZ”

Vs "your dad's a cunt"
Or say " your mum's a cunt"

The first of your examples would be swearing in front of someone. The others are aimed at the person or their close relative which most people, including the police apparently, would consider swearing at someone.

Whether the complaint came from the son or dad they wouldn't act on it if there was no substance to the complaint or if no offence has been committed.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 27/08/2026 19:11

Would you use language like that in front of your teenagers ? I certainly wouldn’t and I would judge anyone who did . You were in the wrong even if the other driver shouldn’t have parked like that .

Winederlust · 27/08/2026 19:25

Warmlight1 · 27/08/2026 09:58

There speaks someone for whom timing and planning are no issue. But the OP can't necessarily spend an hour hanging around with her disabled husband in the event someone happens not to perfectly legitimately park next to her. She has signalled by doing this that she has a need to do it.
Deliberately cutting off anyone's exit like that is more than twattish. Even if there were no disability. You'd look and think - there's some sort of problem there I'll leave it alone. Or report if you really felt compelled to do something.

I'm basing my assessment of what the OP has said in her own posts about those particular spaces.
Two things can be true at the same time... absolutely nobody has covered themselves in glory here.

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 19:26

Walkden · 27/08/2026 19:07

"What the F?”
vs
”Eff you!”
”He’s an XYZ!”
vs
”You’re an XYZ”

Vs "your dad's a cunt"
Or say " your mum's a cunt"

The first of your examples would be swearing in front of someone. The others are aimed at the person or their close relative which most people, including the police apparently, would consider swearing at someone.

Whether the complaint came from the son or dad they wouldn't act on it if there was no substance to the complaint or if no offence has been committed.

We have no way of knowing what this man said to the police.

I am with the poster upthread who thinks this is a complete waste of police time.

Walkden · 27/08/2026 19:35

"We have no way of knowing what this man said to the police.
I am with the poster upthread who thinks this is a complete waste of police time."

We don't know that the man told them anything; it's just as likely they are relying on what the teenager said and it's moot anyway as op admitted her swearing when the police spoke to her.

You may agree with the poster upthread; I think most posters believe that keeping children safe from abuse by an adult is a very good use of police time.

OliveMyLove · 27/08/2026 20:01

Walkden · 27/08/2026 19:35

"We have no way of knowing what this man said to the police.
I am with the poster upthread who thinks this is a complete waste of police time."

We don't know that the man told them anything; it's just as likely they are relying on what the teenager said and it's moot anyway as op admitted her swearing when the police spoke to her.

You may agree with the poster upthread; I think most posters believe that keeping children safe from abuse by an adult is a very good use of police time.

Edited

This “child” is unlikely to ever see, never mind be “abused” by this woman again.

The father set the whole thing up, anyway. He either wanted his son to have this experience or else he was be “horrifically” neglectful of his wellbeing.

I hope the teen’s mother is a more caring person.

Warmlight1 · 27/08/2026 20:04

Walkden · 27/08/2026 19:35

"We have no way of knowing what this man said to the police.
I am with the poster upthread who thinks this is a complete waste of police time."

We don't know that the man told them anything; it's just as likely they are relying on what the teenager said and it's moot anyway as op admitted her swearing when the police spoke to her.

You may agree with the poster upthread; I think most posters believe that keeping children safe from abuse by an adult is a very good use of police time.

Edited

Are you familiar with the concept of an adult being as vulnerable as a child, through disability? So an able 15 year old could be less vulnerable than a disabled adult- depending?
Poster hasn't indicated whether the child was disabled but assumed not. (Maybe wrongly?)
It's clear her husband relies a good deal in her though not clear to what extent.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.