Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel annoyed my father blocks plan for Christmas abroad

167 replies

spanishsangria · 25/08/2026 19:26

I appreciate it's August, but it's a Christmas AIBU.

Every year for Christmas I travel up to Glasgow to be with my family. It's me, parents, and younger brother. For Christmas day we see grandparents for a while but they do their own thing.

DH and I have never spent Christmas together. His elderly mum lives in Cape Town. DH and her usually spend Christmas away somewhere warm, this year it's Mauritius.

I suggested to my parents and brother that maybe we could also go to Mauritius and rent our own villa for Christmas. My brother was very keen as he wanted to try a Christmas in the sun. My mother was also keen, but my father said absolutely not as he "is not leaving his family at Christmas" and he wants to "spend Christmas with family". I appreciate we have elderly relatives, but they are not infirm and my family see them multiple times a week. We can all afford it so money not the issue.

AIBU to be annoyed by this?

OP posts:
Cornishclio · 26/08/2026 23:54

Go anyway and suggest your brother and mum do the same or just go with your DH.

ThatAgileRosePanda · 27/08/2026 07:58

Why not go with your husband? I don’t understand…

Dancingsquirrels · 27/08/2026 08:01

G5000 · 25/08/2026 20:12

your father is not blocking
your father has simply decided he is not coming

Exactly

I dont think he's unreasonable to want to see his parents on Christmas Day

likelysuspect · 27/08/2026 08:54

So 7 pages in and no reply from OP?

Jaimelefromage · 27/08/2026 08:58

I’m confused about something…. You say he won’t go abroad for Christmas because he wants to see his parents on Christmas Day, but isn’t that exactly what you’re doing? You could go abroad with your husband, but you’re choosing not to because you want to spend Christmas with your parents? How is it different?
Im genuinely surprised that you and your husband have never spent a Christmas together. That’s really unusual.

Kelly1969 · 27/08/2026 09:09

Don’t understand why it’s a problem, you’re married so an adult who can make your own choices?
Spending every Christmas apart from partner is pretty weird when parents are not infirm or alone.

RampantIvy · 27/08/2026 10:43

likelysuspect · 27/08/2026 08:54

So 7 pages in and no reply from OP?

Probably because everyone is saying that she is odd to spent Christmas apart from her husband.

Blades2 · 27/08/2026 13:40

He’s allowed to not want to? I personally can’t think of anything worse than a Christmas not at home.

Blades2 · 27/08/2026 13:40

RampantIvy · 27/08/2026 10:43

Probably because everyone is saying that she is odd to spent Christmas apart from her husband.

She hasn’t mentioned a husband ?

sittingonabeach · 27/08/2026 13:44

Blades2 · 27/08/2026 13:40

She hasn’t mentioned a husband ?

In her opening post her DH always spends Christmas with his mum, and that is the whole point of the thread whether OP and her extended family join her DH and his mum on holiday for Christmas

PantsinRiceKrispies · 27/08/2026 13:47

Blades2 · 27/08/2026 13:40

She hasn’t mentioned a husband ?

Copied and pasted from the OP.

DH and I have never spent Christmas together. His elderly mum lives in Cape Town. DH and her usually spend Christmas away somewhere warm, this year it's Mauritius

Who is this then?

Why do you think so many of the posts are expressing surprise that OP has never spent Christmas with her DH?

You clearly haven't read the thread, but it appears that you didn't actually read the OP either.

Blades2 · 27/08/2026 13:50

Blades2 · 27/08/2026 13:40

She hasn’t mentioned a husband ?

I somehow missed that 🙈 another weird post that’s probably made up 😊

Blades2 · 27/08/2026 13:50

PantsinRiceKrispies · 27/08/2026 13:47

Copied and pasted from the OP.

DH and I have never spent Christmas together. His elderly mum lives in Cape Town. DH and her usually spend Christmas away somewhere warm, this year it's Mauritius

Who is this then?

Why do you think so many of the posts are expressing surprise that OP has never spent Christmas with her DH?

You clearly haven't read the thread, but it appears that you didn't actually read the OP either.

Calm down Carol vorderman, it’s an easy mistake when you’re skim reading 😊

Mummamap · 27/08/2026 14:41

Go with your husband. You are an adult in an adult relationship, you can make your own decisions about where you spend Christmas.

RampantIvy · 27/08/2026 15:30

Blades2 · 27/08/2026 13:50

I somehow missed that 🙈 another weird post that’s probably made up 😊

It's in the first post. She says DH not DP.

OneNewEagle · 27/08/2026 16:05

Just go with your husband. Start seeing your family every other year.

Mycatmax · 27/08/2026 20:54

@spanishsangria are you not coming back?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page