AIBU to feel annoyed my father blocks plan for Christmas abroad

Well this is simply resolved isn’t it?

You go to Mauritius and DF does what he’s always done.

YABU to expect your dad to go away if he doesn’t want to. And he is BU if he kicks off about you going away.

But he can’t block you. What’s he going to do? Steal your passport?

To be fair you’re trying to block his plans for a Christmas at home.

If you want to travel for Christmas, then travel for Christmas but you can’t drag your whole family with you if it’s not something they want to do.

Just do Christmas at home early or late and go with your DH and whoever else wants to go.

If you're old enough to be married you're old enough to make grown up decisions.

Go with bro and mum. Leave dad at home. Or will mum refuse to go without sorbet?

So just go with your husband

Right? Surely it's perfectly normal to spend Christmas with your husband once you're married and alternate seeing parents either on the day or around the holidays. I'm genuinely amazed you've never spent Christmas with the man you married!

Yes, you're being unreasonable. Put on your big girl pants and do what you want to do. Your father isn't blocking you, you're letting him dictate what you do. Stop being pathetic and spend Christmas with your husband.

I’m confused why that means you can’t go? Surely just go with your husband?

Go away with your Husband and MIL.

Your father is not the keeper of you.

I vote YABU only because him not going doesn’t stop you going.
Your DH is your family aswell, spend it with him

your father is not blocking
your father has simply decided he is not coming

YABU to think that your wants flat Christmas are any more important than his.

Go have the Christmas YOU want, let him have the Christmas HE WANTS.

He isnt blocking your Christmas, hes setting his own want for HIS Christmas.

Do you want the grandparents to go too? or they just stay at home alone at Christmas?
Everyone just ups and goes to Mauritius to please you?

No. You arrange your Christmas.

So you've rarely (if ever) had a Christmas together with your DH? Instead you go to your parents, and DH goes away with his mother. OK

If you want to be with your DH, it's time to break the mould and decide that this year is the year you go away with DH. Visit parents and grandparents the week before.

They cannot control your life like this, it's ridiculous, although I'd say they'll be the first to complain, not about you going away with DH, but the fact that MIL is going aswell, so brace yourself! However, make sure you emphasise that the choice is theirs to stay at home. Your DB can make his own mind up, but the chances are he will feel he has to stay if you are going. More emotional blackmail, maybe not overtly, but it might be there. Ignore that, DB is an adult, not your immediate responsibility.

We made the break a few years ago too. No MIL involved though!, a few huffs and puffs and huh it's very nice for you while we're here in the cold blah, blah, blah. But off we went, and it's now the new normal for us! Oh and BTW we didn't suggest family join us either, now that would have been hell on earth, what no Branston pickle, ye gods, get me home" you get the picture...ha ha.

Surely when you choose to get married you prioritise your spouse and you may have to accept that you won't be spending every Christmas with your parents.

You have never spent Christmas with your DH? Go with him to Mauritius unless your DH doesn’t want you to and would rather spend it with his DM??

Maybe do alternate xmas’s so one year you go to his mums (or somewhere nice and sunny) and the other times you go to your family. You could even extend the invite to the sunny Xmas to those that want to go. I’m sure your dad will soon come round to hen he’s sat on his own eating a microwave turkey dinner!

Well you clearly think you should all be together as you want your parents and brother to go with you.

Your Da isn’t blocking you, he’s just saying he won’t go.

FGS go to Mauritius with your DH. Up to your brother, Mum and Dad what they each want to do.

But they might need to get cracking depending what vaccinations/visas you need.

Say H is also my family as well so I am going to Mauritius this year if you or anyone wants to come great I can send details.

It's you who's stopping you not your dad.

It's not unreasonable as such, but more people would find it strange that a married couple regularly spent Christmas apart, like you do. Obviously it's your choice, but you're asking opinions, and it's definitely more unusual for spouses to be apart, and it's definitely not unreasonable of your dad to want to be with his family at Christmas, especially as the grandparents are likely to have less time left.

Go with your husband! If you’re old enough to be married you’re old enough to plan Christmas with your husband, not parents! Maybe you could ask your husband to spend Christmas with your family next year (invite MiL as she seems to travel?) but I’d think about what the plan will be with children if you think you’re going to have them.

This is so odd, why are you not spending Christmas with your husband?!

You go with your husband. Your parents and younger brother can stay in Scotland. Just because you want to go abroad for Christmas, doesn’t mean they want to. Just because the don’t want to, doesn’t mean you are ‘blocked’!

Maybe your elderly grandparents would like to go too? As many of you as want to go, should go. Your Dad can stay at home. He’s unreasonable if he tries to change what others do. You’re unreasonable if you try to change what others do. All of you are old enough to make your own decisions. Go, have a lovely time.