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Original poster

AIBU to feel annoyed my father blocks plan for Christmas abroad

167 replies

spanishsangria · 25/08/2026 19:26

I appreciate it's August, but it's a Christmas AIBU.

Every year for Christmas I travel up to Glasgow to be with my family. It's me, parents, and younger brother. For Christmas day we see grandparents for a while but they do their own thing.

DH and I have never spent Christmas together. His elderly mum lives in Cape Town. DH and her usually spend Christmas away somewhere warm, this year it's Mauritius.

I suggested to my parents and brother that maybe we could also go to Mauritius and rent our own villa for Christmas. My brother was very keen as he wanted to try a Christmas in the sun. My mother was also keen, but my father said absolutely not as he "is not leaving his family at Christmas" and he wants to "spend Christmas with family". I appreciate we have elderly relatives, but they are not infirm and my family see them multiple times a week. We can all afford it so money not the issue.

AIBU to be annoyed by this?

OP posts:
pinkishtongue · 25/08/2026 21:39

Why are you spending Christmas away from your own husband? So weird that you spend it apart to be with your parents 😂

I have two grown up dc and I fully expect them to spend their Christmas with their partners - sometimes that’s here with us, and sometimes not. Certainly don’t expect them to come home for Christmas whilst their partner goes to their families.

pizzaHeart · 25/08/2026 21:39

Cooshawn · 25/08/2026 19:28

Why are you annoyed? Him not wanting to go doesn't stop you going.

This ^
And maybe your brother will join you as well.
A lot of people don’t like go somewhere abroad for Christmas- it’s fine. Others like it - and it’s fine as well.

diddl · 25/08/2026 21:37

This is crazy!

Have you & your husband never wanted to spend Christmas together?

saraclara · 25/08/2026 21:36

tartyflette · 25/08/2026 21:29

Blimey, that’s a tough one - Glasgow in December, or Mauritius.

One Christmas we flew to Australia to spend Christmas there with extended family. We love them and we had a lovely holiday in the sun, but it wasn't Christmas. It felt very 'wrong' and we never did it again.

likelysuspect · 25/08/2026 21:35

How has your dad blocked you from going?

saraclara · 25/08/2026 21:33

Just because you want to go abroad for Christmas, doesn’t mean they want to. Just because the don’t want to, doesn’t mean you are ‘blocked’!

Exactly! It's not his thing. He likes a traditional Christmas. He's entitled to his own preferences, and expecting him to spend a shedload of money for flights and accommodation for a Christmas he doesn't want, is exceptionally unreasonable of you.

Summerbay23 · 25/08/2026 21:32

Why wouldn’t you go with your husband this year? Don’t understand the problem, once you’re married you may not always be able to spend Christmas with your family (and if your father doesn’t want to travel that’s up to him.)

ThisCraftyAquaHedgehog · 25/08/2026 21:30

Ermmmm why on earth do you and DH not just alternate each year where you go?

Why would you separate?

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 25/08/2026 21:29

Xmas wasn't even considered a public holiday in Scotland until 1958, so it's unlikely that your grandparents will claim to be as attached to it as your dad seems to be! Surely better to be there for Hogmanay, and spend Xmas with your dh, mil, and whoever else chooses to go with you?!

tartyflette · 25/08/2026 21:29

Blimey, that’s a tough one - Glasgow in December, or Mauritius.

Londonrach1 · 25/08/2026 21:26

Just go with your husband..next year do your parents idea of Christmas the year after your mother in law and husband...

hourspassed · 25/08/2026 21:24

Go. You don't need your Father's permission.

Anendlessseriesofunfortunateevents · 25/08/2026 21:22

You have a husbamd you have never spent Christmas with?!

47YO · 25/08/2026 21:15

@spanishsangria once you’re married, you usually spend Christmas together wherever that may be. Book to go with your DH and live a little.

Tell your family your plans and they have until X date to decide if they will join you.

grumpygrape · 25/08/2026 21:01

Do whatever you want to do and if your brother and mother go too then good on them.

However, isn't Cape Town warm in December?

Error404FucksNotFound · 25/08/2026 20:57

He cant stop you from going.
If you want to go then book it.
If he doesnt want to come fair enough.
Hes not blocking you from going.

EtoileLune · 25/08/2026 20:54

I dont understand why you dont go and do what you want?

Savvysix1984 · 25/08/2026 20:53

go with your husband and let your family do their own thing.

SlappyHap · 25/08/2026 20:51

Your dad isn’t “blocking” any plans.

I assume you’re a grown adult since you have a husband, so why can’t you and your husband go?

FreddoEspresso · 25/08/2026 20:48

I voted YABU for not making an adult decision, as a married woman, and going with your DH.

BlackRowan · 25/08/2026 20:48

You have a martyr complex. You can just go to Mauritius with your DH.

Clearinguptheclutter · 25/08/2026 20:38

this is weird, you’ve never spent Christmas with your husband?

”hey dad I’ve decided to go to Mauritius with dh this year, you’d all be welcome to come along too if you want”

can’t see the issue here unless there is some massive drip feed coming

RancidRuby · 25/08/2026 20:35

Your mum and dad have had plenty of Christmas’s with you, time to prioritise your husband and spend this one with him regardless of whether your mum and dad go with you. It won’t kill you or them to spend one Christmas apart, you’re a married woman not a child.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 25/08/2026 20:34

Why is your dad in charge of what you do for Christmas? And why have you never spent Christmas with your DH?

Neolara · 25/08/2026 20:33

Slightly off topic, but I can highly recommend a South African Xmas.