AIBU to feel annoyed my father blocks plan for Christmas abroad

I don’t really get this. Go without him? Unless like him you think Christmas is to be spent with your older relatives in which case your frustration is hypocritical.

Why are you all pandering to your father? If you and your brother want to go, go , and take your mum with you if she wants to go

your father can stay at home with his relatives, it’s not going to hurt for one year

I would spend Christmas with my husband. That might involve alternate years with our respective families. It might include some years with no one but us. The key is that we would always be together.

Completely confused by the vote.

YABU to not spend Christmas with your dh
YABU to go to Glasgow if you want to be somewhere warm
YABU to blame your father for you not going where you want to at Christmas.

It is pretty common for couples to alternate where they spend Christmas.

If your father doesn't want to go leave him behind . If everyone else is going, he won't be with family at Christmas anyway.

So true!

Why are the only two options that either your entire extended family goes abroad, or nobody goes? Why are you trying to make everyone to be joined from the hip? I don't think your dad is the problem, I think you just need to accept that not everyone wants to do the same thing and then allow everyone the freedom to do what they want. If that's not an option, then sorry you sound a bit controlling

My first thought was grow up - go with your husband.

My first thought was she isn't invited to go with her husband. It sounds like the only way she can go is if they all go and rent a separate villa, so probably an affordability thing, if they don't all go, OP can't go.

What a weird setup.

Agreed. My first thought was grow up - go with your husband.
Visit your grandparents yourself another time - surely you don’t have to go with your parents.

I’m presuming this is a wind up

I voted YABU because surely you can go on holiday if you want?! Your dad can do whatever he pleases too.

How old are you? I’m confused because you say you are married, yet as an adult you are letting your father dictate what happens at Christmas?

Spend Christmas with your DH & MIL. Let your brother decide if he would like to come with you. Same for your mum. No need to ask your dad again as he has already declined.

It's sad for your mother and brother, if they won't go without him, but I wouldn't let this stop me from going abroad at least every other year, if I wanted to. You can celebrate Christmas with your side of the family before you go or after you return.

I find it quite bizarre you have never spent Christmas with your DH. I can only echo PP. Go away with your DH.

Go with your husband. You’re an adult. You can do what you like, surely?! You’re married, you’re not teenagers.

YANBU to want to spend Christmas with your DH
YABU to just accept what your Father insists on and not just do what you want. You are a married woman. Its quite normal to do one Christmas at home and one with your DH family, but you are letting your Father dictate that he is staying at home.. and you interpret that to mean you have to as well.

Have an away Christmas with who ever wants to come with.

There is no law that says you must spend Christmas with your father.
Or that says your father / family must go abroad with you.
Or that says your DH must spend Christmas with is mother.
Or that precludes you from having Christmas with your husband.

Be a grown up. Choose what you want to do, and do it!

Why have you never had Christmas with your H? Not even one Christmas alone, together? Sounds crazy ….

You don't spend Christmas with your husband?! That's nuts.

Never mind Mauritius, why aren’t you and your DH spending all your Christmases together, wherever that might be?

I’ve never heard of married couples routinely spending Christmas separately with their respective parents.

You and your husband decide where you want to spend Christmas, together, and then do it. What the rest of your family want to do is up to them although it does sound like everyone defers to your father.

Do you not have any idea how bizarre it is that you go back to your family on your own every year? And has your father always been a controlling PITA? You’re an adult. You can say no to him.

Too enmeshed.
Why isn't the brother off doing his own thing?

Just go with your husband, and have your Christmas abroad.
Your husband should come first - why do you keep putting your parents ahead of him? It is perfect normal and usual for adults to spend Christmas away from their parents.

You’ve done the hard part by opening the conversation, use it to say that from this year you are starting a new tradition and you’ll be doing one year with your parents and one with your DH. open the invite to join you in the sun to whoever wants to come.

Like others I’m not sure how your father is ruining things?

he doesn’t want to go. That’s okay. You are an adult, is your brother also an adult?

leave your mum and dad to debate this one - you go, your brother (if over 18) can go and you mum and dad can decide between them what they do as a couple.

it’s okay that your dad doesn’t want to go away for Christmas. Lots of people have strong feelings about where they want to be at Christmas. You all have free will.

I don't get how he's blocking you. Go with your DH and enjoy.

How old are you? 18?!
You spend Christmas with your husband and tell your parents you’ll see them in the new year 🤷‍♀️