Hi, I'm hoping it will get some advice here. DH and I have 3 small children 4 and under. We have worked really hard to find a balance over the last year or two of family time, personal time and time with extended family.
Our current set up, has DH and I doing our hobbies alternate evenings Monday-Thursday, Friday we go to my mums for dinner, me and the little ones from about 4:30, then DH and our eldest join us after her swimming lesson around 5:15, we stay until about 7, then Saturday we have one of our eldest's hobbies from 9-10, then we try to go out in the afternoon, a walk, the park, the beach, a museum, whatever. Sunday morning we go up to my in laws for 2 hours for breakfast/brunch. Then have the afternoon free, at home, ironing, cleaning, watching F1/Football, kids just playing and being a little bored.
This works well for us, however my mum has started visiting at random times, she lives a 10 minute walk away, and has to go to the street beside us most days to visit my gran, so she seems to tag us on. It is exhausting tbh, especially on Sundays when we are just trying to get on with our little cosy afternoon. I have asked her not to, but she claims 2 hours a week isn't enough with her grandchildren (she also has them for a sleepover every other month). She always claims she will just stay for a cup of tea, then lingers for well over an hour, any attempt to shimmy her on, is met poorly or with her wanting to take the kids to hers since we aren't doing anything. In the summer holiday she also started dropping in during the week and now our eldest is at school (Scotland so back last week), she has been coming in, in the morning!
Today I asked very politely that we stick to Friday and we will pop in with the kids if we have the time, she got upset saying that we aren't even doing anything on Sundays and my Gran sees more of the little ones than she does (broadly true I nip into my grans for an hour or so during the school day to give her some company, but my mum is at work 3 days a week!).
From this week on we will be pretty busy on week nights, with our eldest having hobbies 2 nights a week, and on a Saturday.
AIBU to not want her stopping in especially on our Sunday afternoons, which I really enjoy being just DH, the kids and I, or should I suck it up as they are her grandchildren and she is probably a bit lonely?