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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think being wealthy is vastly overrated?

603 replies

ForLoudBrickMember · 25/08/2026 13:49

I know this will sound really out of touch and I apologies in advance if I offend anyone, but I’ve been reflecting on my life recently and I truly think it is the most overrated thing on the planet. I’m 35, total pre tax income of about £2 million with half coming from working as a partner oncologist in the states and half coming from active investing. DH makes slightly more, total household income of about £5 mil. Now I’ve done it I can say the following;

  1. It feels totally normal.
  2. It is incredibly isolating
  3. The pressure/difficulty is intense. Ours are still far too young for this and trying to avoid it but it’s very common the DC face intense pressure/stress.
  4. So so much sacrifice. I left everything behind in the UK, put off DC until late, missed out on so much etc.
  5. Being average isn’t much worse. People earning the average wage can still afford a comfortable house, decent car, food, occasional holiday etc. Mum was completely broke as a child and even that would’ve been fine if she didn’t make brain dead decisions constantly.

Yet the average person seems to believe it’s endless bliss, no stress and every rich person is a genius who never tires and never feels sad. AIBU?

OP posts:
Anewusernametoday · 29/08/2026 22:05

What is it, that’s unsatisfying for you?

As you make 1m interest from investments, could you give up your oncology role, to spend time with your children, charity or hobbies at really interest you/ provide more fulfillment perhaps?

use92438567 · 29/08/2026 21:58

Bepo77 · 29/08/2026 21:55

I'm just dying to know...what on earth did you invest in that made you 1 mil by age 25 if your contributions were from minimum wage/odd jobs?! Bitcoin?

what on earth did you invest in

manure

Plra · 29/08/2026 21:58

Loulou4022 · 25/08/2026 14:37

I’m sure the single mum on benefits in a high rise council flat would disagree with you!

Not necessarily. I read a post on here by a single mum in a high rise. She said she was very happy with her life and loved looking at the city’s lights at night with the kids. Life wasn’t stressful for her.

It’s far more complex than get money=be happy.

I’ve also read a post on here where a woman an her DH had close friends. When the woman and her DH began to do well, the friends were envious and the friendship was basically done.

a friend of mine looked after a little girl in a boarding school. She was about 11. Both her parents were dead. There was plenty of money to send her to live in a school - but no family to look after her.

id hate to live in a £5m house with a £100k watch and think about people coming to rob me in my house or on the street. I’d also hate to be cold and hungry.

there probably is a sweet spot, but it’ll vary from person to person where that is depending on circumstances.

H202too · 29/08/2026 21:56

I would save for a few months, come home, get a lovely house over here and put back into health care here. Especially if you have roots.

Bepo77 · 29/08/2026 21:55

I'm just dying to know...what on earth did you invest in that made you 1 mil by age 25 if your contributions were from minimum wage/odd jobs?! Bitcoin?

TheFormerMrsTruelove · 29/08/2026 21:54

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Shedsqueek · 29/08/2026 21:51

Go away please

Sess249 · 29/08/2026 21:50

I think having money just offers you more expensive problems. I will never worry about private school for our kid/s because we can’t afford it. Same with organic food, or summer camp because they are just too expensive. If we doubled our income then it would become a thing we would consider. More money = more expensive problems

Yakacm · 29/08/2026 21:47

So, me and my partner live in a council flat, we both work, neither of us earn much over the minimum wage. We have money in a savings account, and enough in our current account that we never need to check the balance before we buy something, we owe no one anything, no credit cards, overdrafts or HP. I’d say we were happy, we’ve been together a long time now and we still like each other, so..you know?

TheNavygravy · 29/08/2026 21:44

The only reason I’d wish to be wealthy would be to look after my family and then do some good in the world. The surgeon who saved my life (bowel cancer) spends her summers in Africa teaching and operating on women who’ve been left incontinent due to childbirth trauma. Another wealthy person I know started an animal rescue. And then on a bigger scale there’s Dolly Parton, MacKenzie Scott etc. Plenty of inspiration to get rid of the money and you never know it might make you happier.

Bbbbianca · 29/08/2026 21:44

ForLoudBrickMember · 25/08/2026 13:49

I know this will sound really out of touch and I apologies in advance if I offend anyone, but I’ve been reflecting on my life recently and I truly think it is the most overrated thing on the planet. I’m 35, total pre tax income of about £2 million with half coming from working as a partner oncologist in the states and half coming from active investing. DH makes slightly more, total household income of about £5 mil. Now I’ve done it I can say the following;

  1. It feels totally normal.
  2. It is incredibly isolating
  3. The pressure/difficulty is intense. Ours are still far too young for this and trying to avoid it but it’s very common the DC face intense pressure/stress.
  4. So so much sacrifice. I left everything behind in the UK, put off DC until late, missed out on so much etc.
  5. Being average isn’t much worse. People earning the average wage can still afford a comfortable house, decent car, food, occasional holiday etc. Mum was completely broke as a child and even that would’ve been fine if she didn’t make brain dead decisions constantly.

Yet the average person seems to believe it’s endless bliss, no stress and every rich person is a genius who never tires and never feels sad. AIBU?

You need to watch a few episodes of rich kids go skint where families of 5 have $20 left after bills and rent to pay for food. I can tell you 100% that struggling like that This is an insane post.

pollyglot · 29/08/2026 21:39

DM was a multi-millionaire (property/trustfund) but the most damn miserable person I've ever known. All she could think of was spending her mother's Trust Fund so that her DC couldn't inherit. Managed to divest herself of about 8 mill by stupid investments, selling valuable property at a bad time, spending up large on all sorts of idiotic rubbish. We, her DC were everything any mother could wish for, but it was never enough. So there ya go. I inherited enough to invest well for my own DC, though our lifestyle is frugal. I count myself very fortunate

justasking111 · 29/08/2026 21:38

A friends husband was offered a dream job at the Mayo Clinic. They have an amazing home, hot summers lots of sport. Her husband and kids took to it very quickly. She found it very hard to adjust in the beginning but after a couple of long holidays with the children in the UK has come to realise that the money and lifestyle are better for the family.

She still can't get used to bitterly cold weather in the winter though.

Laurmolonlabe · 29/08/2026 21:34

Anyone who has any imagination, or has seen this from both sides knows that if you are very wealthy you still have problems- they are just different problems.
I think you under estimate how much stress and pressure there is when you have far less money, having seen having less money when you weren't responsible for keeping all the balls in the air really doesn't count.
When you have a significant amount of money there is much further to fall- the average person it's only a hop a skip and jump to poverty, homelessness, and an early death- don't underestimate the power of money.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 29/08/2026 21:32

JTBB33 · 29/08/2026 20:35

Completely agree

God damn it why did I fall for this

whatcanthematterbe81 · 29/08/2026 21:28

We are no where near as wealthy as this but do pretty well and I don’t agree at all. When I was poor it was a stress every day. Now I can treat myself, treat my kids without a thought. Sure we have the same mundane struggles or even big life problems like sickness but day to day life is a hell of a lot easier when you don’t have to worry about money and it’s stupid and insulting to pretend otherwise

rwalker · 29/08/2026 21:17

our friends own a building company the pressure and the sacrifices are absolutely enormous
if go as for as saying they have great wealth but no life

there’s always a downside to everything in life

HollyhocksandPeons · 29/08/2026 21:10

And I thought doctors were supposed to be intelligent....

MrJumpyLegs · 29/08/2026 21:06

Yes but the training, pay, lifestyle etc is very poor.

Seems like you can’t win

AliceLivesInLondon · 29/08/2026 21:01

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QueenietheGreat · 29/08/2026 20:57

@ForLoudBrickMember
If its that nondescript for you
Then why not try donating some to us poor folk and charity?
Cannot believe you came on mumsnet to bleat on about how "ordinary" having that sort of money is
And that with an "average wage" you can still exist and have plenty of "niace things"......
You have money and don't find it fulfilling but
Still, it must be lovely to pay bills, eat and live
Whilst extracting urine of the finest quality
I'd rather be rich and miserable
Than poor and "happy" anytime
It's been said that the rich often tell the masses that moneys overrated because if the "poors" really knew the privilege and comfort wealth bought with it
They'd absolutely dislike/resent how some others live
Reckon that's happening all over now ............

Rcgc · 29/08/2026 20:55

Total yearly income of 5mil. Do that for 3 years living cheaply, bank 10mil and retire! Where’s the stress. Please explain to me why you need to keep earning more? 10mil invested will keep you above average for years. Probably keep you kids living average while enjoying whatever entrepreneurial activity comes their way.

LienekeS · 29/08/2026 20:54

I earn a lot too and have sacrificed quite a few things personally. But why is it isolating? That is your choice. You both earn a lot so why do this and be miserable. Makes no sense. I am about to give up my job, a total privilege to most so my next move is do everything I’ve never done because of all the pressure in the past. Life is too short and you have a choice. What am I going to do: travel with my mum and spoil her, support my favorite dog charity and look after my family.

SetTheWorldOnFire84 · 29/08/2026 20:50

You clearly have never struggled. I struggle every day to survive mentally and Financially. If I wasn't in such abject poverty my mental health wouldn't be so bad

Gwenhwyfar · 29/08/2026 20:43

I am very happy to help if you want to give me some of your money!

Seriously though, if you don't like being rich, change jobs!