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AIBU?

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AIBU To be excessively worried about DD’s safety as she leaves for university?

328 replies

MimiGC · 25/08/2026 08:24

My DD has grown up in a small, very safe town. She’s a sensible girl, but never really had to be overly concerned for her safety on the streets before - public transport isn’t great here, so we’ve often given her lifts late at night. She’s now about to go to a big city (Birmingham) and I’m so worried for her. Obviously what you see in the media is always the worst of a place and I know I need to get things in perspective a bit more. I am thinking of getting her a personal alarm, for when she she’s walking home in the dark. AIBU?
If your DD has been to university in Birmingham, can you put my mind at rest?

OP posts:
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EvelynBeatrice · 28/08/2026 22:09

MajorProcrastination · 27/08/2026 14:25

This feels like a lot. I understand that you're anxious. I am so glad that my parents couldn't track exactly who I was with and where I was at any given time while I was at University in a city.

Usually a group of friends track each other - not parents!!

walrushurricane · 27/08/2026 15:02

MajorProcrastination · 27/08/2026 14:25

This feels like a lot. I understand that you're anxious. I am so glad that my parents couldn't track exactly who I was with and where I was at any given time while I was at University in a city.

Parents can only track if the student sends them a link when they get in the car. Mine only do this if visiting me. Otherwise their friends can track them. The point is that Uber cars are tracked and seem to be video recordings in most licensed vehicles now anyway.

MajorProcrastination · 27/08/2026 14:25

MimiGC · 26/08/2026 22:27

I also have no idea how Ubers work. So if my daughter has the app on her phone, how can I track it ? And how does the audio and video recording work?

This feels like a lot. I understand that you're anxious. I am so glad that my parents couldn't track exactly who I was with and where I was at any given time while I was at University in a city.

EvelynBeatrice · 27/08/2026 12:50

DraigCymraeg · 26/08/2026 09:02

And the drivers are properly checked - criminal records and all that?

It’s still worth taking the safety measures described in my and others posts. There have been incidences of other family members or friends ‘subbing’ in for the designated approved driver.

MimiGC · 26/08/2026 22:27

walrushurricane · 26/08/2026 08:58

They are tracked and your friends, family etc can track it live. Also audio, video recording (if you switch it on).

Edited

I also have no idea how Ubers work. So if my daughter has the app on her phone, how can I track it ? And how does the audio and video recording work?

OP posts:
walrushurricane · 26/08/2026 21:35

GotTheBluePeterBadge · 26/08/2026 21:23

She lives in central Birmingham in the city centre. I'm not about to disclose her address!

You don't have to disclose her address. 1000s of people live in each ward. You obviously haven't got a clue where she lives. 1.2 million people live in birmingham and all live an easy commute to the centre. Do you seriously think everyone is too scared to go out at 5 p.m in winter?

GotTheBluePeterBadge · 26/08/2026 21:23

She lives in central Birmingham in the city centre. I'm not about to disclose her address!

walrushurricane · 26/08/2026 10:46

GotTheBluePeterBadge · 26/08/2026 10:40

I think her lived experience in her area has given her a different insight and I'm not going to demand she change her feelings based on the assertions of people online that she "should" feel safe. She doesn't.

I am not saying she should feel safe. Why would I when you haven't said what area she lives in Birmingham. My point is you can't extrapolate that and say that Birmingham isn't a safe place to live as a student. You don't live there and don't seem to know what area your neice lives in.

GotTheBluePeterBadge · 26/08/2026 10:40

I think her lived experience in her area has given her a different insight and I'm not going to demand she change her feelings based on the assertions of people online that she "should" feel safe. She doesn't.

DraigCymraeg · 26/08/2026 09:58

walrushurricane · 26/08/2026 09:27

Yes

Thank you.

walrushurricane · 26/08/2026 09:27

DraigCymraeg · 26/08/2026 09:02

And the drivers are properly checked - criminal records and all that?

Yes

DraigCymraeg · 26/08/2026 09:02

walrushurricane · 26/08/2026 08:58

They are tracked and your friends, family etc can track it live. Also audio, video recording (if you switch it on).

Edited

And the drivers are properly checked - criminal records and all that?

walrushurricane · 26/08/2026 08:58

DraigCymraeg · 26/08/2026 08:56

Are Ubers safe?
Forgive my ignorance, I've never used one.
Can't anybody just become an Uber driver, unlike licensed Black Cabs?

They are tracked and your friends, family etc can track it live. Also audio, video recording (if you switch it on).

DraigCymraeg · 26/08/2026 08:56

HeddaGarbled · 25/08/2026 08:30

When mine were students in big cities, none of them, male or female, walked home from nights out alone: friends and Ubers.

Are Ubers safe?
Forgive my ignorance, I've never used one.
Can't anybody just become an Uber driver, unlike licensed Black Cabs?

nonoono · 26/08/2026 06:26

PollyBell · 26/08/2026 06:14

By strangers or people they know?

Both Strangers and people they know well and people they have just met. But always male.

PollyBell · 26/08/2026 06:14

nonoono · 25/08/2026 20:20

well as 1 in 4 women get sexually assaulted in their lifetime OP is right to be thinking about safety.

By strangers or people they know?

Alfrescodisco · 25/08/2026 23:26

Honestly it just gets easier once you start to know their routines, and when they’ve established a good friendship group and have found their favourite local places to hang out.
My uni aged daughters and their friends are all so alert to safety issues these days , always checking each other get home safely, looking out for flatmates if one is on a date/ doesn’t return home when expected, watching each other on life 360! They really take care of one another.

MasterBeth · 25/08/2026 22:57

Obviously you are being unreasonable to be excessively worried.

FWIW, our daughter did her degree at University of Birmingham and loved it.

walrushurricane · 25/08/2026 22:53

GotTheBluePeterBadge · 25/08/2026 22:31

I'm sure there are. She's been trying to move for some time so I'm not about to start convincing her to stay!

I am not suggesting you convince her to stay. I am just making the point that her view of Birmingham is incorrect.

GotTheBluePeterBadge · 25/08/2026 22:31

I'm sure there are. She's been trying to move for some time so I'm not about to start convincing her to stay!

KookyMoose · 25/08/2026 21:37

My daughter is also going to Birmingham in September. The area where the university is situated is actually really nice - it's very leafy and a beautiful place to live. It's not massively close to the city centre. We live about half an hour away from Birmingham so she knows the city well. I'm no more worried about her than I would be about her going to any other university.

walrushurricane · 25/08/2026 21:29

veryoldwoman · 25/08/2026 21:23

Both women assisted by members of the public……

no idea what your point is but offences like this occur in all cities- some other cities more recently than the report you linked

Yes, and unlike some cities people will help. Strangers don't ignore you.

veryoldwoman · 25/08/2026 21:23

Gggag · 25/08/2026 21:20

Both women assisted by members of the public……

no idea what your point is but offences like this occur in all cities- some other cities more recently than the report you linked

Bufftailed · 25/08/2026 21:23

Gggag · 25/08/2026 21:10

According to UK police tracking data, Birmingham ranks first out of 99 cities in England and Wales for the rate of "possession of weapons" offenses, sitting at over 300% of the national average.

How is this helping OP

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