AIBU to worry my adult son is not maturing?

When I was this age there were more guys like this than not. Most of them have grown up and become normal functioning adults.

Agreed. You sound bossy and hypercritical, OP. Flip and look at what he’s achieved at 22 — good degree, good graduate job, good friendships. He doesn’t need a girlfriend or the ability to drive to be a ‘fully-rounded adult’.

I think part of him ‘maturing’ is making his own decisions about his own life whether you approve of them or not.

He’s 22. You can’t engineer his life at this stage. His eating habits and social life aren’t for you to decide because he’s a grown man and he’s allowed to live in whatever way he wants. You’re talking about him ‘developing’ and wanting to push him to do activities as if you think he’s still 13. But he’s an adult man with a job and he’s perfectly entitled to make choices you don’t agree with. ‘Maturing’ doesn’t mean ‘being guided by your mum’.

If you wanted to ask him to move out because you don’t want him living that way in your house, of course you’d be reasonable to do that. But his eating habits, friendships and sex life are simply not your business any more because he’s a grown adult man.

I don’t think the driving is a top priority but the diet, health and hobbies/socialising are. He needs to get into a healthy diet and exercise routine to address the tiredness. High cholesterol at 22 is problematic. His work will likely offer private health and maybe gym access.

Did he live out for uni?

I really struggled with learning to drive. I was not successful in this until I had children so had to be able to. Not driving isn’t an issue while you’re young and live in a city.
Food I’d chat with him about.
If he has a good circle of friends he’s more likely to meet someone he’s compatible with rather than trying to date someone online. I’d not put any pressure on here.

Tricky one. What are his plans to move out? Living with others always broadens horizons. I doubt he'd respond much to your suggestions. Does he have any hobbies?

Op I was the same until I moved out, it’s difficult not to be. I think you could have a relaxed conversation about the job and you’re lucky you can save at your age etc etc then … I don’t know … maybe talk to him about helping cooking etc so he can eat healthier- tell him he doesn’t want to be the person that lives on ready meals and misses out on lovely tasty food? (Hopefully someone better at advice comes along!)

ps driving is hard, he’ll get there!