AIBU to feel uncomfortable about my partner's comment on teenage niece?

I was going to ask what you thought of your niece having her boobs out but you weren’t there. I could well imagine thinking “bloody hell, my niece has got her boobs out at a family meal! She was running around with grassy knees the last time I looked” and not because I’m a pervert. Also, I might find it a bit inappropriate at a family meal where I wouldn’t think the same if she was going to a party. Also the fact he just told you think I think speaks to the fact he was shocked to see them, rather than pleased to see them (yeah I know, gross, sorry).

I cant believe people are considering this to be normal. She is 16 . No its not normal. He should stop looking at her chest so much. Super creepy.

I wouldn't find that weird at all, its just an observation.

I think it's all about context.
We have a family member who has recently starting wearing very skimpy revealing clothing. Good on them but you can see everyone is taken back and sometimes you don't know where to look!
Making a passing comment as your partner has done isn't weird or horrible. It's different if it was said in a derogatory or pervy way.

This type of comment can be interpreted in either way.

What's making you concerned @Gingercatonshed? Does he have a wandering eye?

But everyone has different personality types and some people are just quite literal and to the point. I would have said boob's as thats what I noticed

If you are going to have your boobs out at any age, people, will look and some will comment. It’s part of growing up as it will never change. It’s about learning when it is fine to have them out and when not. If I see a male jogger with his top off I will look. I doubt the jogger takes his top off whilst having lunch with his aunties. If he did I’m sure he would be asked to put a top on.

He could have said something like 'I'm amazed at how grown up niece is, it really shocked me'...instead of mentioning her boobs at all.
I'd feel uncomfortable with that comment too. It was unnecessary.

Im not sure, I’ve deffo had a bit of a weirded out feeling when I’ve seen someone who I’ve known since a baby, who I still just remember playing with dolls, then the next time I see them they’re dressed how teenagers dress and it icked me out a bit, like my instinct was she’s too young to be dressed like that!

Then I remember how I dressed at 14 and one particular top that was really low cut that I now can’t believe my parents didn’t burn. I still remember how many adult men would have a good look as they walked passed and I had low self esteem so liked it.

i just hope I don’t get any more prudish as I get older! I don’t want to end up pearl clutching at the youth of today!

You don't notice if your niece suddenly develops breasts or you notice but don't say anything? It was a private comment between the uncle of a girl and his partner, he was saying to his partner that he was still thinking of his niece as a little girl and was surprised how adult she was looking at the family meal, his partner wasn't at the meal so he was giving information. The language was a bit descriptive but it was between adults (and not in front of the girl in question), he could have just said she was looking very grown up. But it wasn't a post on facebook saying, 'you should see the knockers on little cheryl now'.

He’s 💯 a creep. Is he her uncle? Most men would feel uncomfortable saying their niece has her boobs out.

This I think. If he had commented something like "she's a young woman now" well maybe that's ok, although for me it brings back the memory of the Sam Fox countdown but the words he used are not acceptable even in private to you. Does he often struggle to express himself appropriately?

He has no right to make a comment on her body.

I find it creepy.

Because it would have been fine for him to just say 'I was surprised at how grown up she is' but adding 'she had her boobs out' is totally inappropriate.

He is a grown adult sexualising his teenage niece and making her sound like an Only Fan glamour model.

No idea why some people on this thread think it is OK...raise your standards people.

I think it was quite honest of him, wouldn’t it be worse if he thought it and kept it to himself? It’s always the quiet ones they say!

You are surprised when you see a child suddenly become physically more adult, particularly if you haven't seen them for a while or they are suddenly dressing more like an adult. Boys too suddenly tall, broad and facial hair, where did that lovely little boy go?

It's tricky as is it not just stating a fact. If niece had long hair and cut it short commenting on niece looks different today, her hair was much shorter would be fine.
If she is sat at the table leaning over in a skimpy top or even just a tight fitting top with boobs very apparent it is going to catch someone's eye.

I’m shocked so many think this is ok & even a green flag!
It’s never ok for an adult to pass comment on a child’s developing body especially in that manner.
creepy.
its made you feel uneasy because its not ‘normal’

He used the expression “boobs out” to describe a child? Euugh.

I understand what you mean but it's not typically a thing that teenage boys dress in hypersexualised clothing. Boys tend to need to be taught other things about how to present themselves - showering, deodorant, wearing clean rather than unwashed clothes. They don't tend to turn up to family gatherings in low cut tops and booty shorts, and if they did I think they would also get flak for it.

I think this is a common issue for men as their young female relatives grow up. A developing woman's body feels incongruous for someone they knew as a little girl; it disturbs them. Male sexuality is something that is always there in the background, they can turn it down but they can't switch it off completely, even if they want to. That's just an uncomfortable truth.

I'd prefer his reaction to the one my uncle (by marriage at least) had which was to grin and leer at me in my party dress at Christmas during the year I turned 17. He had 100% known me as a baby 😬

I wouldn't necessarily see this as him being creepy. Perhaps she did have her boobs out and as a woman that is something I would also notice!
I watch EastEnders and just lately one of the teenage characters on there has had a bit of an outfit shift and all you see now is low cut tops and boobs, it's the first thing you notice now when she is on screen so I didn't think it was weird when my husband mentioned it as I was thinking the same. The comments online also all note this too (and not just from pervy men as I guess a lot of people who watch EastEnders are female).
If you saw your niece and had seen she was wearing a skimpy top would you not think the same?!

This!

‘Having her boobs out’ is a very grim description to say about any young girl imo, particularly his niece 🤮
He could have phrased it a lot better.

Absolutely creepy fucking weirdo alert. How about he absolutely never, under any circumstances ever, talks about teenage girls boobs? No matter who they are, or under what circumstances.

That's the norm, by the way, to not ever comment on teenage girls tits.