AIBU to feel uncomfortable about my partner's comment on teenage niece?

TBH I have made a similar remark about my own DN who suddenly took to dressing like she was auditioning for Love Island. It was a bit of a shock when I had last seen her in baggy tracksuits etc.

As a one off remark I wouldn’t read too much into it.

It's a standard rule that an adult man never comments on how any teen looks, including family, or makes any reference to boobs or if she looks attractive. It shows very poor judgement on his part even if he is completely none creepy.
What they think is another issue, but nothing in this area should be verbalised. It leads to comments like those that are in this thread and can always, without exception, be taken in the wrong way.
If a man must comment on the changes in a young women or teen girl then he should use neutral phases like 'grown up' since he last saw them.
I think not commenting on a teens boob's is fairly basic knowledge for an adult man.

The budding of young breasts in females often takes THOSE FEMALES by surprise. One day clothes fit one way, and are perfectly fine, and the next day they fit another, and are not, or so it can seem. Her caregivers (and her) walk a tight rope between guiding to her as to what's appropriate, and encouraging her to be comfortable and enjoy growing into her adult body and finding her own style.

It's not like a young girl that got hit in the back with the boob stick twice can just tuck them out of sight, unlike a young boy with an inconvenient erection.

Would a relative feel it was fine to comment on a young boy having one of those moments, or would that be a bit creepy? Maybe tut a bit about how Mum should have bought him tighter boxers, and looser trousers?

Who is the adult? Who has more life experience and should have more self restraint, leading to the ability and the expectation that they will not cop an eyeful, or make an inappropriate remark - perhaps seeking to place the onus for any inappropriateness on the young girl?

People are allowed to have judgements.

The budding of breasts in younger female relatives often takes males by surprise. It was a crass remark to make out aloud, but I don't think it was particularly pervy.
Whether the nieces top was appropriate for a family meal or not is by the by, but it seems she was happy to show off her surprises

Direct their eyes elsewhere obviously.

this. There are shedloads of way of commenting on a female entering adulthood and its coming as a shock without using the phrase "boobs out"

I know what you mean, but for me the word ‘boobs’ is a bit lighter / sometimes can be comical / less sexual.

’Tits’ on the other hand, I find more of a sexual word. Once my boyfriend described someone as having ‘big tits’ and I found that offensive and pulled him up on it.

this

Inappropriate yes

I’m a woman and actually said similar about my own niece recently after seeing her at a family
meal dressed and looking like a woman. I suppose in my head she is still 6 and wearing princess dresses so seeing her dressed like she’s about to go out clubbing did just feel a bit odd- no hate whatsoever to her outfit, she looked great, but I always think it feels a bit strange seeing someone you knew as a child suddenly look like a grown up feels a bit crazy!

Exactly this, I’ve said this of my own niece too.

I said this of my own niece at one point. Completely inappropriately dressed at an event and it was really awkward.

I’m surprised at the posters, potentially women, excusing this. No wonder so many men get away with this shit.

i would find it creepy also, it indicates to me he was looking at her breasts and in an adult manner, and no one, but no one, wants an uncle who does that,

Take it at face value. He was probably uncomfortable watching someone he considers a family member and has known since she was very young, dressing in a grown up and seductive way. YABU

Agree. It's an inappropriate description. I don't think it's inappropriate to have noticed as such, or even to have mentioned to his partner later in private that niece is growing into a young woman, but this specific turn of phrase feels inappropriately sexualised. Hopefully it's just clumsy and not a serious red flag.

Agree.

I don’t think there’s a person alive who describes a young woman as ‘boobs out’ who isn’t a card-carrying misogynist.

That there are women who consider this bullshit a ‘green flag’ is ludicrous.

Obviously men don't suffer from the same problem in the same way. It just doesn't help people to support their positions when they make statements that are demonstrably untrue.

It's unnecessary and patronising to point out to me that "Men’s legs aren’t sexualised in the same way women’s chests, or even legs are" when the post you're responding to literally states that "women's bodies are unfortunately sexualised much more than men's".

I'm tempted to suggest that if you can't read and react appropriately to people who are are entering into a discussion in good faith and whose short, two-sentence posts explicitly recognise the point you're making, then maybe you shouldn't be commenting either....

I’ve definitely thought and said this about my own 16yr old niece. But even if my DH had thought it (which I think is natural for anyone), he has the intelligence to know it inappropriate to comment on it.

Green flag imo

So how should people refer to breasts then if we can’t use the word?

like it or not, breasts get noticed, whether they’re on a 16yr old or an older person, I notice them constantly, there’s nothing sexual about it.
but men are demonised when they notice. Why do we live in a time when woman are allowed to wear whatever they want (as they absolutely should be) but we have to pretend we just don’t notice if someone is wearing something particularly revealing?

people are allowed to notice clothes and bodies.
there’s not always a sinister motive behind everything, if people wear revealing clothes I will look and I will notice breasts and bums and arms and backs, doesn’t mean I’m creeping on them.

If you can’t tell the difference between ‘oh you’ve got your legs out then’ and leering over, for example, your six pack I fear you shouldn't be commenting. Men’s legs aren’t sexualised in the same way women’s chests, or even legs are.

Was your niece actually topless at the time? If she was merely wearing an ordinary top it's beyond shitty to describe her as 'having her boobs out'.