To think a man with five kids he barely sees won’t be considered a catch on the dating scene?

This. Some desperate sad sap of a women will fall for him...

Women like myself? No chance, wouldn't entertain anyone that had 5 kids or even 3 kids.

Sad but true!

Sounds like he has plenty of free time, is good looking, and is charming (abusers generally are).
He will most definitely find a desperado who is happy to listen to all his woes; empathise with the awfulness he's suffered from his crazy exes, blah blah blah.

I'd suggest you find some support in moving forward; instead of waiting to be upset by tales of his new and 'happy' relationship.

From personal experience, if such a man manages to find a vulnerable woman at exactly the right time, he can get her to believe anything. The man I fell for only had 2 children he didn't see because his "psycho ex kept them from him" and he "couldn't afford to take her to court". I sympathised and agreed with him and that I thought he was wonderful and didn't deserve what she had put him through.
At the time it was just me and two small kids. I was having a hard time adjusting to parenthood and had mental health problems.

Over the course of a year, I did come to see the truth it. I had previously worked within the legal profession and knew plenty of family lawyers who would have been happy to have given him a pro bono consultation. I even offered to pay for him to go to court. At first he was keen, but then kept making excuse after excuse, and I couldn't understand why he wasn't taking this opportunity to get to see his kids.
But, like a muppet, I continued seeing him.
He was gorgeous and he was nice to my kids, and I was surprised he was interested in me at all.
Other things cropped up which seemed off, and then a friend I hadn't seen for a while saw i was seeing him and filled me in on the truth. His ex was not a psycho, she was a thoroughly lovely, normal woman, and he wasn't interested in seeing his kids.

This was about 10 years ago, and I feel so monumentally stupid. Behind every "psychotic" ex is the man who made her that way.

Even my own father managed to bag himself a gorgeous young wife (much younger than me) despite the fact I hardly see him because he's such a twat, and the 2 children from his second marriage have completely disowned him. They've had 2 children together and I don't know what the hell he's done to her, because she's a shell of a woman.

If its any consolation I don't think my dad, or the man I was seeing, are happy. Not truly. I don't think they ever will be. When my dad drunk calls me, he always says that the biggest mistake he ever made was leaving my mum.

I wouldn’t hold your breath OP. I know of a bloke with two older kids that he doesn’t send to school, is in temp accommodation, deals drugs and has no legitimate money. Women are queuing up to have kids with him. In fact two already have. He doesn’t stay with any of these women. Just moves onto the next. What a life for all those kids born into such disadvantage.

Common sense and logic goes out of the window. Some will blindly believe every lie they're told if the guy is "hot" and believe that all his exes were psychos and that he'd spend loads more time and money on his kids if only his exes would let him! Some women, sadly, just go for the "bad" boys at whatever age.

I had a brief stint on dating apps about 11 years ago, before I met my now husband by just bumping into him by accident in real life :) There were some real tossers out there. One of the guys who was interested in me seemed really nice, he was Irish, quite good looking, seemed quite smart. And then I read his bio properly and saw he had an ex wife and seven kids.

I'm surprised he admitted that up front to be honest, but maybe he didn't see the problem, or figured he'd have to talk about it at some point anyway.

And I thought, I just bet she's sitting there struggling while he's off partying and trying to line up another woman. And I thought, what sort of a man leaves 7 children without a father? And I thought, fuck off. And that was that.

Sadly that's the answer. Some women lose all common sense when the bloke is "hot". It's exactly why the "hot" blokes never struggle to find their next victim.

Its really hard, I struggled with this at first. That he could go about his carefree life paying for dates while I was alone with our 11 month old, in tonnes of debt he left me in, not a penny from him, getting no sleep, grieiving for him/the relationship/the future while also solo parenting. It does get easier. I am now so relieved he has no interest in his child and has left us alone. I pity his girlfriend, and the one who will be after her, and after her... And i am the winner, as i have got my beautiful boy. You will get there too, i promise you. Its been 11 months for me and the change is huge.

You think he will be telling women this?

On bail for assault? Of course nobody sane would date him!

I really can’t understand why a woman would date a man who had 3 children, let alone 5. It’s a HUGE red flag!

Yup, I was victim of one of these men, too.

Never again

This is an excellent video from Justin Owens on the issue.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaqzWxgO4FI/

TBH I think anyone, male or female, with 5 kids by more than one partner, is best swerved if you are looking for stability and reliability. Certainly wouldn’t marry them or have more kids with them.

Girl there will be a long line of women unfortunately. Especially if he’s good looking, has a decent job and the gift of the gab. For every one woman who says I wouldn’t touch him 3 more absolutely would.

Being on MN we all know how low some people set their bars.

There we are then. You've been told that he's still likely to be getting women if he's hot and charming enough.
What else is there to say.
Some women have hybristophilia. Fact.

Personally I would not give a shiny shit what he was up to as long as he stayed away from me and the children.

Yup!. He will always find so someone to have him. He hardly has his 5 kids so has plenty of time to gallivant and be all romantic. Men like this don't stay single . Its very galling and depressing but we must carry on 😔

There’s always going to be someone stupid enough to believe a man’s version of events.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who will believe his tale of woe - crazy exes who won't allow him to see his children, that he's a great dad, etc. Until they become a crazy ex, too.

Women really don't help themselves sometimes.

It's not victim-blaming at all to observe that having assaulted her toddler her main concern should be with their safety and not who he's shagging.

Some women wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole. Some won’t care if he has 5 kids or 500.

Like men, you get nice women and shitty women, shitty women will love a man like you have described.

You considered him a catch with three…