To think a man with five kids he barely sees won’t be considered a catch on the dating scene?

What do YOU think of men who abandon their children? Would you date them?

Once again with the ‘on the spectrum’. Your patronising tone is rather offensive.

I admit I judge people on instinct immediately. However I have been told many times that I’m harsh for not liking someone, only for it to turn out that that person is in fact a bit of a cunt.

Perhaps being ‘on the spectrum’ means it’s easier to read people.

Totally agree.
Yes I know of and interact socially with men who have no contact with their children.
Would I consider a relationship with them, though? No!

I do find that people on the spectrum tend to judge people on how they treat them.

I think that this is a mistake because it's not taking into account the other person's essential character and behaviour when things aren't perfect.

Do you think it is one of the most important things to judge someone by?

So you keep saying. And as I keep saying that is your opinion.

By all means keep posting to tell me it’s a moral failing if you have the time, obviously. We won’t agree about it so if you can’t be arsed to discuss it, it seems fairly pointless just to assert it’s a moral failing. I don’t agree that it is the only thing to judge someone on

@Anarchy99 Abandoning one’s children is a moral failing people should be judged very harshly for!

I get what you are saying now.

There is more to most people than being an OW or an absent father. People on MN like to reduce everyone down to ‘bad’ or ‘good’.

Yes I am ND but even someone ‘on the spectrum’ (as one poster so delightfully put it) is capable of understanding nuance in human beings

Did you really just ask if I was ‘on the spectrum’? Wow. Are you always that offensive? I judge one moral failing more favourably than someone being ableist.

I am indeed neurodivergent but am capable of understanding human relationships.

I didn’t say it wasn’t a moral failing - I just said that most people in real life feel able to judge others based on more than one action which is not illegal.

Absolutely - and all I am saying is that by the same logic, I hope people who believe absent Fathers still capable of being decent people, do not form part of the frothing "OW are scum and morally bankrupt" brigade.

Because that woukd make no sense.

The logic either applies or it doesnt. I chose a MN favourite topic as a comparison

It is true that not all men who stay in the family unit are good people, however, abandoning his children is a sign that a man is not a good person.

It is obvious that a man who is prepared to walk away from his children with no guilt is not a man to be involved with.

If he has no concern for his own flesh and blood he is likely to abandon others.

Is this not obvious?

It is a massive red flag.

Yet again, it’s a red flag IN YOUR OPINION.

You can keep asserting that as much as you like. It doesn’t reflect real life, whether you like that or not.

Guy will have to pull off the move from Overboard movie to stand a chance. 5 kids is an army these days.

I think people would be surprised and my ex has children with me that he doesn’t see but I agree most people irl aren’t bothered by this as much as people think, im guessing most of these men like my ex have friends, family and new partners? Not as if they are social outcasts? Because most people don’t really care if they have kids they don’t see.

No abandonment here!

It is a MASSIVE red flag. I can’t understand why some women don’t see that.

Yes - in your opinion. You can say it as many times as you like, it doesn’t make it so in every case.

I presume you or your children were ‘abandoned’, hence the strong feeling.

Abandoning your children is a massive moral failing!!

In your opinion and in the opinion of most of the single parents on here, perhaps.

Meanwhile, out in the real world, people judge based on more than one moral decision.

If you have abandoned your children, you’re not a decent person!

Well people are more complex than that. Plenty of cunty people out there who have never been an affair partner or an absent parent, and plenty of decent people who have.

We are discussing whether an action in one area of someone's life is indicative of their character as a whole

Same as no man should ever get with a woman who told him to his face more than once that she’s not interested in his (adult) kids and doesn’t want to hear about them

The relationships forum is full of women accepting abysmal behaviour from their male partners , so sadly I suspect you are BU 😏

I will say that I judge people on who they are and how they treat me. If you judge people on one thing which in your opinion is a ‘moral failing’, that is of course up to you.

Just because someone isn’t an absent father or an other woman, that doesn’t make them inherently good people any more than those who are absent fathers or other women are inherently bad