To think a man with five kids he barely sees won’t be considered a catch on the dating scene?

Latest girlfriend sent a letter to me telling me that I wouldn’t get away with keeping his children from him much longer… my girls are mid twenties and don’t live with me. They have their own homes in another city. Apparently he’ll be going to court for access…

Sorry @JustAnotherWhinger that made me laugh. Not the first time absent fathers suddenly decide they are going to pursue access for their adult children after getting a new girlfriend. This one is either dumb as rocks or he's lied about/forgotten how old his children are.

@JustAnotherWhinger have you posted about him before? You and the other ex's get on ok ans all the children have relationships with each other? Hes horrendous!!!

Op - i hate to say it, but if he had mo wy/ a good job, this pattern will just keep repeating itself. If he doesn't, there might come a point at which it is HARDER, but probably still not impossible.

I dont know if it went anywhere but I do know exBIL recently went on a couple of dates. Even without the red flags hed have been spouting (abusive ex, alienated children etc etc), I cant work out how anyone online even matched with him unless the info you provide in the profile/xhat stage is so limited or blatantly untrue simply because he hasnt worked in years (because apparently my SIL abused him so badly he has suffered wih major mental health issues), is borderline homeless, has zero interest in anything and while he was an attractive man, he looks wrecked now. But... match he did!

Best thing you can do is forget he exists and live your life.

I know it's really hard, really hard not to be bitter at them living the high life while you're stuck with the trauma and hard work of raising children alone BUT it's better for you if you can forget about him and try your best to live a happy life with your beautiful children.

You did, they’ll be another gullible woman along if he talks the right talk.

Unfortunately he likely will. Men who have the gift of the gab rarely use that skill.

My ex has two kids, now mid twenties, with me. Hasn’t seen one for 6 years and one for 2 years. I am the crazy first serious partner who trapped him. Which is interesting as we had fertility treatment (that he paid for) to have our girls…

Had three with his next partner who he married. Convinced her I was so bitter and nasty that she was actually quite horrible to my girls in terms of excluding them. Has apologised profusely now that her secondary age children were ditched by him. She was the psycho ex who “ran away” with his children and couldn’t be traced. She left their military accommodation, as she had to as it was attached to his job, and moved into the flat she owned the entire time he knew her…

Next one had one child. Didn’t know about any of his kids. Instantly ended it with him when she found out. She is the “crazy bitch” who hid her pregnancy, which was very clever of her given he attended her baby shower…

Latest girlfriend sent a letter to me telling me that I wouldn’t get away with keeping his children from him much longer… my girls are mid twenties and don’t live with me. They have their own homes in another city. Apparently he’ll be going to court for access…

He will spin assaulting you as self defence and it was your fault the toddler got hurt because you attacked him first.

He probably won't bother mentioning the children who don't want to see him.

I outright asked a man I considered dating if he had children. He lied. Blamed his ex for cheating. Turned out he had twins and had been in another child's life her entire life (got together when his ex was pregnant to someone else). Later discovered he had been in prison for assaulting her new boyfriend.

The next woman he met, stayed with him, had a child and no surprise, he left. There will always be women who ignore the red flags, especially when attached to good looking men, and won't even bother with Clare's Law. Or just ignore what they are told like my abusive ex's wife has.

Presumably he lies as well.,

I despair at the low bar some women set.

No one intelligent, sensible or decent will have him for sure but there’s probably someone not very bright and vulnerable out there who needs the validation of any male partner, despite all evidence that he’s a tw*t.

Oooo I heard about a man like this very recently, he was in the process of making wife number 3 an ex, 5 kids, and sadly very handsome / charming.
I'm long enough in the tooth to see him for what he is, but sadly there will ALWAYS be another woman out there willing to help him see the error of his ways and save him from his toxic past.

My ex has 3 children, two with me and one with the woman he married (then divorced) after me. Despite having 3 children with two different women, and being maybe averagely attractive, he is never single. He has a new woman lined up before he leaves each one, and is currently engaged to a mother of two. (After barely 6 months of dating) Despite the fact that he barely sees his own children and his relationship history she somehow believes none this is his fault and obviously all his exes are psychos, and he’s a sweet kind man who’s been desperately unlucky.

There’s no limits to how gullible and desperate some women are.

If he has a penis there will be a woman who wants him, however he behaves. Plenty of women set very low standards for men.

Don't give him any headspace . That would be a massive gift for you OP

Yup, it's always the "crazy ex" story and the women who take pity on them.

He will be a catch to someone, just like he was to you.
He`s out of your life now op all you can do is move on with your life.

we`re all dating someones ex, we're exs ourselves.

He will lie and too many women want to believe that they will be the one who will tame him and make the difference.

Short term, he will probably land on his feet but there’s every chance that by the time he’s old he will have upset all the other women that were willing to put up with him so they’ll have left and his his grown up children won’t want to know.

Unfortunately this type of arsehole tends to bounce back. My friend is married to a man who has 3 kids by 3 women who he doesn’t see. I know another bloke who’s a father of many more who always finds his feet under a table. I don’t even know how many kids/mamas he’s on now….

A real catch then. Probably charming and funny at first?

You obviously wanted him with 3 kids and 1 crazy ex. Some woman will want him with 5 kids and 2 crazy exes.

Get on with your life and be more cautious in future, that’s all you can do.

This ^

What an awful phrase. Even worse with an erroneous apostrophe in it.