Feeling awful about son's accident in the pool

Well that's really helpful toffeepennie, good for you, maybe a bit of helpful advice rather than gloating at how wonderful you and your children are. FFS.

I had several heart stopping moments with my eldest when they were 2 / 3. They were very impulsive, later diagnosed with ADHD. One involved a fall down the stairs, one an attempted road crossing and another was my fault entirely (well they all were in their own way) when I slipped on some rocks carrying them - I consciously allowed myself to sustain a lots of cuts and grazes to make sure their injuries were minimal (which fortunately they were - just a small bump). DC used to talk about the latter for a good while afterwards but then one day just had no memory of it anymore.

They are 25 now and all in one piece!

As long as you learn from it, as I'm sure you will, all's well that ends well. The positive spin is you saved his life.

Absolute bullshit - I have never known a 3 year old who could swim 🙄

Definitely not common! Most start lessons around school time

Bless you, what a shock.

i wouldn’t worry about it at all.

i have a clear memory of my Dr cousin having to dive into the pool on holiday to rescue her son from the villa swimming pool. She was an anxious mother having already lost one child (to congenital illness) and it happened to her.

Mine definitely couldn’t swim at 3 btw, one of them had a massive aversion to it (turns out she’s autistic and it was a sensory thing). It took private lessons when she was 9 for her to eventually get there.

teach him to swim and float. The life vest is giving you a false sense of security.
In France where we are children learn to swim at school at 3. It’s compulsory!

I don’t think telling the OP about your kids swimming achievements are going to make her feel better. There’s a time and place. Ffs.

He was quite famous for vanishing, but that was the worst. We didn't have a very large supply of willing babysitters.

Keeping him alive until adulthood was a genuine achievement.

I have never, ever lost the other child !

Every parent (unless they’re very lucky or very smug) has one or two of these moments…moments they play over and over in their heads and shudder at what might have been. Luckily for the vast majority of us it is just a horrible memory and no harm done and the kids don’t even remember.

Lots here preaching about swimming lessons…we did some and they were okay but some kids were so scared about being forced to do stuff in the water they didn’t feel confident about that it was very counterproductive. I used to take ours to the local pool, in the shallows, and we’d mess around - they’d dive for sinkies and lo and behold started “swimming”. Followed it up with a two week pool holiday and they were wrinkled prunes the whole time. Each to their own but allowing ours to become confident at their own pace was much more productive for us.

Unfortunately as you have learnt the hard way you have to watch them every second. When DDs were 3/4 we were watching them in the hotel toddler pool (waist height) and a little friend they’d made managed to upend herself in a ring face down and stuck. Luckily we were right there so immediately righted her. Her parents were on sunbeds right next to the pool but were reading not watching.

Best to outnumber them as well if you can!! But appreciate of course that’s not always possible. We were fortunate when ours were circa 3-7 we went away in a 4-2 adult to children ratio with family and it was bare minimum requirement imo 😂

My boy learnt to swim IN my womb. He’s just very talented like that.

Arm bands are great. He’ll forgot this.
I remember forgetting to strap DD into her pushchair. I went down a path, she fell out so quick that I pushed the buggy over her as she was curled in a ball. She wasn’t hurt. I cried for days.

This is exactly why we don’t use life vests or bands or anything other than a noodle and why my kids have done swimming “lessons” since 10 weeks old. They don’t get freaked out by being under water even before they can swim themselves. Maybe practice some going under and coming back up so he’s not freaked out by it.

😂 💯

@Dingaling47wow they’re sent to try us aren’t they. Of all the places!!

Getting to the pool regularly with him, building his confidence in the water and teaching him yourself should be fairly easy if you are confident in the water yourself.

It’s quicker if you don’t use arm bands.

I remember reading about issues with the life vests when mine were babies. I feel really uncomfortable when I see toddles in them. They shouldn’t be allowed to be sold.

A less confident swimmer is more cautious of their surroundings, less likely to think they can handle the waves or if the water gets rough, experienced swimmers often overestimate their ability over the unpredictability of the sea. Especially with teenagers.

We have a winner everyone!!!!

Either this is perfect smug mum satire or we really have the cunty post of the decade!!!

😂😂😂

It's a good point actually. 3 year olds also get hysterical about the wrong coloured bowl for breakfast. That yellow bowl is genuinely a massive trauma for them in the moment, but it all gets fixed and life is all good again.

I'm sure he was frightened, but the reason it feels so awful to you is because you know the seriousness of it. It doesn't mean he'll always remember it as a terrible thing.

I once broke my finger when it was locked in a door, they couldn't get the door open for some time. All I can really remember is that I wasn't able to speak to draw attention to it (must have really hurt), but I don't remember it hurting or being really upset. I mostly remember that I was given the most enormous amount of chocolate mousse afterwards that it's kind of categorised in the 'good childhood memories' file. I'm pretty sure the chocolate mousse is the only reason I really remember it.

What???? This is absolutely not true!

Classic MN.

I lost mine in a historical war re-enactment... Everyone had to stop re-enacting and form a search party.

He's a full grown man now but I still bring it up periodically. Special occasions and the like.

Sorry OP, rotten thing to happen x

I thank god for incidents like this. I see them as little warnings from God to remind us and show us what can happen. I’ve had quite a few with my daughters (a dodgy huggy brake was one).

I had a very similar experience with DS when he was about two.
No life vest involved, he was in a round paddling pool about a foot deep with all the parents sitting around the sides watching their children.
I don’t even know how it happened but one second he was playing, the next he was floating upside down in the water. All the parents seemed to spot it at once and jumped up to grab him. He was completely fine, not even upset but I was terrified and still feel sick when I think back to it, ten years on.
One of the lovely men who had been sitting by the pool approached me afterwards almost in tears, feeling guilty that it had happened beside his feet and he’d not seen it.
These things can just happen so quickly you really can’t take your eyes off them
for a second.
Try not to feel guilty, he’s fine and will soon forget about it - even if you don’t.

Yes, it's very hard for parents to get their children into the local classes.

I don't think that now is the time to be making her feel worse. I'm sure there's plenty of three year olds that haven't had swimming lessons practically from birth. None of my 5 kids had swim lessons as babies and I would guess that plenty of other parents on here somewhere probably don't send their newborns into swimming classes either.