Feeling awful about son's accident in the pool

You were right next to him and it was ok. You are not a terrible parent at all. You've had a real scare but please try to enjoy the rest of your holiday (and bin the life vest).

I pulled a 10 year old girl up from the bottom of a swimming pool in Greece last year. Parents nowhere near the pool. Turned out she'd had an epileptic fit going down the slide. It was fucking horrendous but she survived. (I had nightmares for weeks because I really thought I was too late). And she was a bloody good swimmer- I'd watched her all day! Try not to listen to the "3 year olds should be able to swim" brigade- insanity 🤣)

This!

It was more the claim that the poster’s dc have been in formal swimming lessons since the poster stopped bleeding after childbirth that made me go 🙄

And really? I bet there weren’t swimming lessons for babies in the 80s!

And the OO’s not bringing her dc up in the water; she was on holiday and she is supervising them.

Ignore the people sticking a knife in trying to make you feel bad for not taking him swimming lessons and the people making you feel bad for taking your eyes off him.

Yes we shouldnt take eyes off children in the water and its a stark reminder but can we all say that we have 100% never took our eyes off our child, especially if you have multiple ect. Take it as a lesson learnt and thank God you was so close to him and being so attentive some parents leave their children in water and are on sundowners. Realistically from what you have described he was under the water for seconds.

Also swim lessons sounds like they would help you all to feel comfortable around water but if a time doesn't suit maybe you could take him on the weekend to the pool, to build up confidence and flotation skills ( even though I'm not sure they would have helped with that swim vest working against him). I only use swim vests if my kids are in water they can't stand up in, as they wouldn't do much to help anyway and with the bottom strap.

Nons of us made it out of childhood without some "turbulence" and its what makes us who we are, he will develop a respect for water. Keep going you got this 💖

Something similar happened to my daughter when she was just under 3. My husband and I have never forgotten it. If the conversation that distracted us from her getting into the water had lasted much longer she would have drowned.

What I wanted to tell you OP is that whilst we haven't forgotten it, my daughter has no memory of it. She didn't start swimming lessons until she was 3 and it took her a while to learn, but she's a good swimmer now (9) and enjoys it. Try to frame the incident today as the reason why you'll always be extra careful in future, which means your kids are now even safer than they were before. x

Did you also learn to drive a car in case of adult collapse, perform the Heinrich maneuver and perform self applied tourniquets to open wounds in case of accident, good grief the child is 3 give the op a break

@Lolarose999 if it's any consolation, my parents found me face down in our pond at home when I was about 3. No-one knows how long i'd been there & it certainly wasn't intentional, apparently the back door had a wire wrapped around it that should have stopped me getting out. I'm now 46 and have never had any issues with water or swimming, but agree lessons and in particular learning to float would be a good next step to help you move on from this scary but thankfully not harmful experience xx

You can't teach your child to swim?

Many do. Especially if you leave anywhere close to water, or plan to go to pools regularly. Its just sensible from a safety point of view.

I started swimming lessons at 6months, and this was back in the 80s. My grandmother had a cottage on a lake, so I grew up swimming before I could walk. That's what good parents do, if their child is growing up on the water.

Taking a baby to formal swimming lessons is a fucking collosal waste of money. 3 is the very earliest I'd start.

Come off it.

Utterly ridiculous to make the OP feel like a ceap parent for not ensuring her three year old is capable of doing ten lengths 🙄In the real world most children are taking lessons once they’ve started school. Hope you’re feeling ok OP.

Now’s not the time to showcase your children’s swimming talent…

Not many 3 year olds can swim or would know what to do in that situation!

Crappy life vest though.

Op... honestly you not a bad parent. My dd didn't learn to swim until 5/6 but two years were due to covid and closure of the pool. It's very rare a child of 3 learns and tbh has lessons in the real world. You were right there next to him. Ditch the vest. My dd learnt via everyone active and they used discs. Try and get the image out of your head and move forward re this. Be kind to yourself xxx

When DD was 4.5, we were staying with friends with a pool. She'd had swimming lessons and was at a depth she could stand up in. She was playing with a rubber ring and I still don't know how it happened but suddenly she was upside down in it, head under water, bum in the air and couldn't right herself. As she flailed trying to turn over she propelled herself away from me, thankfully towards another parent who I shouted to and who turned her right way up. It was probably 5 to 10 seconds. But I'll never forget how suddenly difficult it seemed to be to move through the water as I tried to reach her or how long the moment was as the other parent worked out what was going on.

These things happen, my lovely.

As you said yourself, he was supervised at all times and the incident lasted for less than 30 seconds. You're not a bad parent at all. Please be kind to yourself about this, and try not to feel too guilty 💙

Op don't beat yourself up.
Get him back in the pool tomorrow don't let fear either yourself or his take over.

Keep using the bouancy aid, but remember its a bouancy aid, not a lifesaving device.

Good for you. Clap clap

Utter nonsense.Neither of mine started lessons before four. I think DS2 was five because there was a waiting list. None of their friends had lessons before they started school.

Do people seriously think that most DC start swimming lessons at 2?!!!

It was an accident. Your son is fine. You’ll keep this with you forever but he will forget it. Many of us have done things that have ended up with our children actually injured. I could give you a catalogue of accidents my lot have had.

Tomorrow, make sure you get back in that pool. Do not let this scare you into not going back in.

I’d definitely book swimming lessons for when you’re home but you can help him learn how to float whilst you’re away.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday x

Have they been trained in every single life ending/ changing scenario or just swimming ?

I have a similar story and I am actually a parent who watches their kids like a hawk around water! Big jacuzzi hot tub thing, I was sat on the side, 3 kids in it and despite watching, my youngest just slipped under the water. It was only a few seconds probably but they were under and I had to scramble to get them out. It terrified me. Don’t beat yourself up, you were there and with your ds and he is not harmed

How does that help the child hold their head up?

That's exactly what I was thinking they are bouancy aids, not life jackets, they have a warning that the child isn't to be left unattended or something.

Neither arm bands or swim rings put the child into a good position for swimming, as Op has discovered the bouancy jackets lets the kids float on their front to practice swimming. You can also remove the floats as they get better at swimming.

ha ha - this made me laugh. I’m sure we all have tales like this.

I hope OP @Lolarose999will see that we’re all (well not all of course) normal mums trying our best!