Feeling awful about son's accident in the pool

That’s some old school MN’ing right there. Ahh I miss this type of middle class flaming you used to get on here.

Thankfully he’s fine and like others have said you won’t be the first one to use one of those vests and have them cause problems.
My oldest is 13 and I remember at a baby group someone advising me never to get one because they had experienced similar when supervising their child in the water, it alters their sense of gravity and they can’t right themselves if they tip so we never used them.
As others have said the priority really is some swimming lessons, at this age they teach them how to float and get themselves out of water more than swim.
It sounds scary but I’ve never used any swimming aids in any of mine bar a woggle as our swim school doesn’t recommend arm bands etc.
We’ve all as parents had moments where we’ve dropped the ball but thankfully it’s been ok.
I was on holiday swimming at the weekend and a toddler ran from the little splash pad area straight off the side into the main pool. His Mum was legging it after him but he was too quick, I grabbed him just as he went under the water and passed him to the side just as his Mum got there. It happened it what seemed like a blink of an eye, when I saw him again in the splash pad zone he had arm bands on and one of their group was stationed in the area between the two zones…
I hope the rest of the holiday goes smoothly

I don't think arm bands are that great either op. For life jackets in young children, I believe they should have a supported cushion part behind the head - I can't quite picture what you described but maybe yours had no cushion and allowed his head to fall back? I guess ultimately all of these things are aids and not replacements for supervison. Don't be hard on yourself, sometimes the accidental small scares are the things that keep us more vigilant and prevent bigger scares/disasters.

Clearly your DHs fault for asking a silly question like that

Aww it was an accident and he's ok. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Out of interest what type of life vest was it?was it one of the inflatable ones or an actual life vest?

Bless you OP. Life presents so many dangers. I’m in my 60s and still have flashbacks of the number of near misses my kids have had, heights, things going in their mouths, too near to the iron. I have to remind myself that they were just near misses.

Today my DD sent a cute video of 20 month grandson floating in a pool on holiday. I had to resist messaging back to check he had his life vest on. Earlier this summer I was pushing her to buy the style you have described. How wrong was granny.

Guilt is a side effect of loving something so precious and not wanting them to get hurt. He is fine. Give him a(nother) hug and enjoy your holiday.

But at least the poster didn’t tell us she’s so full of herself she can’t actually walk on water.

It can’t be real

Do you have anything helpful to say to the OP? This post isn’t about you or your children for goodness sake. 🙄

@Lolarose999 that sounds utterly terrifying. It’s a lesson learned and I’m wondering how many other parents have bought the vest that you used in good faith. Can you leave a review to warn other people not to be complacent when using it? I’m not getting at you but that might be helpful to others. I’m glad your wee one is ok.

Also had a similar experience with our 3yo on holiday, she's absolutely fearless so I thought I was doing the right thing by putting a swim vest on her in the pool. I was right beside her and she flipped forwards and while it did help her float she then couldn't get her head up and legs back down so was then flailing with her face fully submerged, I'd hate to think what would have happened had I not been right beside her watching.
it went in the bin after that and we switched to arm bands, don't let it put you both off op but ditch the vest.

he won't remember this and I am sure there will be further times in the future when accidents happen, its life. I found arm bands much safer than those vests. My kids started swimming lessons at 3. You were there, you got him out, he's been checked over, no harm done. Don't beat yourself up over it.

What happened to good old fashioned arm bands or a swim ring.

Those jackets aren't life jackets by the way - they are merely buoyancy aids.

A true life jacket has a collar around the neck, and it will always float you on your back with your head out of the water even if you are unconscious. That's the definition of a life jacket.It will keep you alive with your face out of the water even if you are unconscious.

Those toddler vests are just a false sense of security without actually being particularly safe.

Don't get me started about people putting them on dogs who can actually swim better than humans

How are your own children's achievements relevant to how the OP is feeling?

I know this is meant well but this is the most MN comment ever 😂

You need to try forgive yourself, while learning a really crucial lesson. A child that young needs to be watched constantly while in the pool, and at arm's length. Two arm's lengths away while you look away for 10-15s could lead to a child drowning. It might not sound long, but sit and start your timer on your phone for 15s and you'll realise a lot can happen in that time.

I'm glad your DS is okay, and I hope in time you're able to forgive yourself. And to make sure he is always watched and within reach in water in the future. Sounds like you likely got a bit complacent which is easily done.

Not the point of the thread, but how are these vest allowed to be sold? Don't they have to meet a certain safety standard? What's the point of them if you still need to be holding the child at all times.

OP, you won't be the first and you won't be the last. He's OK and you're shaken up.

I once misjudged the position of a horizontal bar in a play area, was throwing (not high) and catching little DS in the air and clonked his head hard on the bar.

I once 'encouraged' the other DS to leap frog a concrete bollard. He didn't make it and landing chin first on the other side.

Ok. Deep breath. I remember turning around in pool when I was blowing up my daughters arm bands to find her floating off face down across the pool. She had one on. Again it was seconds. These things happen but I still can picture it in my mind as clear as day. She was nearly 2. She is now nearly 24. You are not a bad parent!

I’ve also had this happen when one of mine was a toddler and would never trust a life vest on a small non-swimmer. Stick to inflatable armbands.

It does keep repeating on you when these split second things happen. I was in the pool with DD must have been 1.5 or 2 and watched her slip under - I was within reach and grabbed her up but she was very scared by it and even something so minor I couldn’t get out of my head after - kept seeing it happen again and again. Which is good as it teaches you how quickly it does happen!

I would like to say congratulations now thousands of people know, but to be fair I have a feeling that you’ve told pretty much everybody you’ve ever come into contact with anyway.

I remember seeing just this on holiday about 15 years ago. It frightened me so I can't imagine how you're feeling. It's an accident avoided. Stop the guilt, you were doing nothing wrong. Try and enjoy the rest of your holiday x

Aww we’ve all had moments as parents that stick with us. We hired a boat in Corfu and allowed our children 12, 15,16,16 to swim over to the beach while we moored. We could see there was a problem when they got to the beach (unbeknown to us, there was coral at the shoreline and they cut their feet, surface wounds). I still have images of them swimming back to the boat, struggling a bit, the girls in tears, them climbing back on the boat and the blood in the water (looked worse than what it actually was!). I still have awful flashbacks to my youngest, battling back. My partner clearly would have jumped in if it had been a true emergency but he was in control of the boat. I felt like the worse mother in the world and I’m normally really careful with water and the sea.
We’ve all done stuff and you are clearly a great mother x try not to beat yourself up too much over it and you will clearly have learned from it, just like I did.