Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want more thought than just books and a card?

32 replies

Sausagenbacon · 24/08/2026 16:47

I have been married for a long time now, and get really fed up that my husband is so unimaginative when giving presents.
He thinks it's far more important to put a loving message in a card.
It's always bloody books. I am a reader, but i'd like something that shows he's thought about it for more than 2 minutes.
AIBU?

OP posts:
OtterlyMad · 24/08/2026 16:57

Is he aware of how you feel? E.g. have you previously told him that you would like him to put more thought into presents and avoid books if possible? If not then I think you are being unreasonable, but if you have and he’s ignored it then he’s being an arsehole.

Loulou4022 · 24/08/2026 16:54

DH buys loads of presents but often stuff that I don’t want or need (he then grumbles about the amount of stuff we have 🙄) I’ve taken to giving him a nudge in the right direction. Even if it’s an Amazon or M&S voucher! This year I’m asking for money as I would like a national trust membership.

DarkForces · 24/08/2026 16:53

I've been married for almost 25 years and have run out of stuff to buy dh. I snaffle whatever he orders off Amazon for a couple of weeks before and wrap it.

Witchergeralt · 24/08/2026 16:52

Men are a bit dim, even the good ones. They don't get hints and DH often says to me, if you want something just tell me exactly what it is. It's not a surprise but I get what I want.

Smartiepants79 · 24/08/2026 16:52

Have you told him? Have you made suggestions of other things that you’d like? If he’s always been like this what makes you think he’s going to suddenly, magically change? A lovely card with a heartfelt message and books he knows you’ll read is not an awful gift. It does rather hinge around the question about whether you’ve said anything or not. Presuming he’s a good guy and a decent, loving husband in many other ways then he perhaps just needs some guidance. Some people are gift givers some people are not.

StressedOutPeanut · 24/08/2026 16:51

I think books are a lovely present. What did you want? Did you tell him prior? Or does he have to be a mystic meg?

FruAashild · 24/08/2026 16:50

There is no better present than a book but if you're not happy with his gifts just send him some suggestions a suitable length of time before the event.

Swipe left for the next trending thread