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AIBU?

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Original poster

To say something or not?

60 replies

Teancake1 · 24/08/2026 16:06

New neighbours moved into the flat next door earlier this year. A nice couple with 2 boys. I haven't had too much interaction with them, just friendly greetings when we meet. In general, you can't hear much noise from next door but what I am hearing is him vomiting loudly almost every morning - so much so that it wakes me up. What I have noticed is is doesn't happen if they have overnight guests, which I do see them coming/ leaving. He's a nice guy, doesn't ever seem to be under the influence of anything. He is very slim.
It's becoming quite annoying to be woken by this or hearing it every morning. I don't know whether to say something or not?

OP posts:
AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 25/08/2026 09:25

WannaSweetie · 24/08/2026 20:14

Now I’m emetophobic, & my trigger is the noise, so I’d have to say something I’m afraid.

And what would you expect him to do about it?

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 25/08/2026 08:05

WannaSweetie · 24/08/2026 20:14

Now I’m emetophobic, & my trigger is the noise, so I’d have to say something I’m afraid.

And if they then “say something” about your mental health issue?

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 25/08/2026 08:05

Pushmepullu · 25/08/2026 07:58

Where exactly is this mystical elsewhere? I can hear the conversation now
”sorry to hear you’ve got cancer, could you go to the local cafe to be sick because the noise is annoying me”.

Show quote history

Quite - some of these responses are so insensitive I have to assume they’re made up.

Stormyrose · 25/08/2026 08:01

What on earth would you like to happen, he vomits more quietly ?

Pushmepullu · 25/08/2026 07:58

YourAquaLion · 24/08/2026 20:26

I’d defo ask if someone was unwell because I can hear vomming every morning, with a concerned face on. That makes it clear that you can hear everything and if it’s cancer you can sympathise (and hopefully they can do it elsewhere) and if it’s bulimia they can fake some kind of response (and still do it elsewhere!) hopefully that will solve it. Sounds absolutely rank and I think you shud defo say something in a concerned for your health type manner.

Where exactly is this mystical elsewhere? I can hear the conversation now
”sorry to hear you’ve got cancer, could you go to the local cafe to be sick because the noise is annoying me”.

Dollymylove · 25/08/2026 07:37

Eating disorder?

MrsBatshitRatshit · 25/08/2026 07:27

Ohthatsabitshit · 24/08/2026 17:13

Would you “have a word” if he was farting or shitting and you could hear it? What is it you think he can do about it?

Well, if it's self-induced, he can stop doing it.

WonderingWanda · 25/08/2026 07:17

The fact that you mention he is very slim suggests you suspect it's an ED, why on earth would you imagine you saying something would help in that situation. If you can hear it his wife can. It's hardly the sort of noise level you could report to the council. You just have thin walls.

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 25/08/2026 07:17

WannaSweetie · 24/08/2026 20:14

Now I’m emetophobic, & my trigger is the noise, so I’d have to say something I’m afraid.

Then you’d be incredibly rude.

Lots of people have health conditions that cause them to vomit or have stomach upsets - what would you “saying something” achieve other than to make that person feel even worse?

SeeMeRun · 25/08/2026 07:14

WannaSweetie · 24/08/2026 20:14

Now I’m emetophobic, & my trigger is the noise, so I’d have to say something I’m afraid.

Then you should pay to live in a detached house. Or pay to soundproof your flat. If you live in a flat or joined home you may hear things. It’s not their problem.

VoiceofInsanity · 24/08/2026 22:32

It might be worth saying something because the fact it's not disturbing you when they have guests suggests there's a controllable element: either in terms of the location or the act itself.

whatashame12 · 24/08/2026 22:16

MyArtfulGreySloth · 24/08/2026 21:29

You really shouldn’t have to live with horrible noises.

you are aware many people have physical issues and illnesses that cause vomiting or vomiting noises? Most people have to live with noises they find uncomfortable. music, kids, dogs, shouting? its part of life if you live near other humans?

Nofeckingway · 24/08/2026 21:36

I was mortified when my neighbour asked me if there was anything she could do to help . She had heard me vomiting all the time . I was pregnant and had severe hypermesis gravida for 16 weeks . I did open the window in the bathroom to get fresh air . Never occured to me that anyone could hear . I shut the window and hoped for the best opened it when I was finished. She was a mother of 7 and understood and gave me some useful tips though !

Hankunamatata · 24/08/2026 21:29

Snoozeband is your friend.

MyArtfulGreySloth · 24/08/2026 21:29

You really shouldn’t have to live with horrible noises.

Noodles1234 · 24/08/2026 21:27

I think if you do say something, I would go along the caring route or as someone say enquire if they are hearing an animal being sick in the morning. You could ask the wife so you are not being direct. If it doesn’t happen when they have guests it may point to something or it may not. Adults being sick turns my stomach so I can appreciate for some it’s difficult. Personally I wouldn’t intrude or have a go about it in case it is a medical condition.

whatashame12 · 24/08/2026 21:09

I haven't read the whole thread, but I am a person that can't burp, it's a muscle issue that leads to massive gas build up that sometimes is just easier to let out by doing a vomiting type fingers down throat that sometimes will also trigger vomit but usually just a massive gas release.
Not saying its this, but its an extra way of thinking about it most people wouldn't consider!

MissRaspberryRipples · 24/08/2026 20:38

I mean surely he can't help being sick, I sure as hell wouldn't appreciate someone complaining about hearing me being sick when it can't be helped. If it was constant noise of shouting screaming etc and playing ridiculously loud music you'd have a valid point. Surely the guy would rather not be spewing almost daily and won't appreciate you sticking your nose in his business and whining about it

YourAquaLion · 24/08/2026 20:26

I’d defo ask if someone was unwell because I can hear vomming every morning, with a concerned face on. That makes it clear that you can hear everything and if it’s cancer you can sympathise (and hopefully they can do it elsewhere) and if it’s bulimia they can fake some kind of response (and still do it elsewhere!) hopefully that will solve it. Sounds absolutely rank and I think you shud defo say something in a concerned for your health type manner.

WannaSweetie · 24/08/2026 20:14

Now I’m emetophobic, & my trigger is the noise, so I’d have to say something I’m afraid.

melsid · 24/08/2026 20:11

Indianajet · 24/08/2026 16:12

You can't say anything, this is really not your business.

I quite agree

melsid · 24/08/2026 20:10

Teancake1 · 24/08/2026 16:11

Just if I meet him, ask him has he been unwell? We had family staying recently and I just felt embarrassed they had to hear this.

Wow! What if he has cancer or something and is having treatment! That’s part of the deal living in flats!! You put up with the noise!

CalmFairy · 24/08/2026 18:03

Maybe he has daily migraines like me and every morning my head is in the loo, sometimes in the night.

Honestly op leave the family alone dont be a busy body.
And how is it embarrassing for your family to hear someone being sick.

Ohthatsabitshit · 24/08/2026 17:13

Would you “have a word” if he was farting or shitting and you could hear it? What is it you think he can do about it?

Walkerzoo · 24/08/2026 17:08

Hard one.

I found out that someone at work goes to cafe on site eats plenty and then...goes and vomits in staff toilets....

We are going to put notices up about healthy minds but it is well known .... Sad. Hard to know

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