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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My wedding, AIBU?

111 replies

JustPearlLurker · 24/08/2026 15:48

Hi there!
Long time lurker, first time poster! I am engaged and am super excited! Wedding is booked for next year and I couldnt be happier! I am a bit confused and would like to know if this is a thing and I am just out of touch. Wedding date is confirmed and it is the day of a friends husbands birthday. The friend in question has asked if I can get the people making my wedding cake to do a special cake just for his husband since it’s his big day and it will be missed otherwise by the wedding! My gut quite frankly is fuck off, he can have his special forty something birthday the day before or after our bloody wedding! Would appreciate some thoughts.
Many thanks

OP posts:
Moonnstarz · 24/08/2026 15:55

Is this for real?!
Perhaps the best suggestion is they don't attend the wedding (have you actually officially invited them yet?)

Littlemissstar90 · 24/08/2026 15:54

Did she offer to pay? Is it a big birthday? I think she's being extremely cheeky tbh.

Witchergeralt · 24/08/2026 15:53

It's yours and your fiancé's wedding. You shouldn't have anyone else's celebrations elbowing their way in. She's bonkers.

CaroleSP · 24/08/2026 15:53

I'd say no way - it's your wedding day & you only get married once (hopefully!).
I went to my DP's closest friend's wedding on my birthday and never told a soul. We celebrated my birthday the day after. I'd have hated them knowing tbh & I had a lovely time as DP drove & I had a glass or two of fizz!

Loulou4022 · 24/08/2026 15:52

Nope!! It’s your special day!! And asking you to provide a cake for their birthday is true CF territory!!

DerangedBillionaire · 24/08/2026 15:52

Fairy cake with a candle in as a little jokey gesture - sure!

But no, Diane, I will not be asking them to make a 'happy 43rd birthday Pete' cake.

Lomonald · 24/08/2026 15:51

Don't do this, it isn't about him or her. If she wants to do a cake later on at the reception she can do that if you don't mind.

PinkKimonos · 24/08/2026 15:51

That’s the sort of situation where you send back three laugh emojis and say ‘Oh, good one, Chloe!’

DisforDarkChocolate · 24/08/2026 15:50

I'd say no but be prepared for her to stand up and tell everyone it's his special day too.

KnickerlessFlannel · 24/08/2026 15:49

If it's someone's birthday then I would be happy for her to organise a small cake with a very brief mention during a speech, but not for you to organise it.

HandPulledNoodles · 24/08/2026 15:49

That's bonkers CF behaviour. Say absolutely not.

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