My wedding, AIBU?

It's somewhat like announcing pregnancies at weddings or engagements.

Just keep it to yourself. I love celebrating a birthday of mine.However, for somebody's wedding, I would just celebrate my birthday another day. My partner would give me my gifts in the morningpossibly or wait and keep everything until the day.We're celebrating

A wedding happens once and a birthday is every year.

Christ how embarrassing ... I wonder if the DH even knows! Don't do this OP, madness 😂

Jesus that's nuts. My close friend got married on my birthday (very close friend actually, I was a bridesmaid). She did acknowledge that it was my birthday when she booked it, but she really wanted a Saturday in the summer and there weren't many left, c'est la vie. I certainly didn't expect (and didn't get) a cake on her wedding day!

This wasn’t her place to ask! Was she proposing to pay for the cake too? I was a bridesmaid on one of my birthdays (as a kid) and they did arrange a cake for me and everyone sang happy birthday. At another wedding I was bridesmaid at as an adult there was two birthdays in the room and the bride arranged a bottle for each of them. It was a nice gesture but totally initiated by the couple and your friend was very rude to ask you to do this.

Absolutely ridiculous 😂 I hope you laughed in her face. He is a grown man. Surely, he’s had to do stuff on his birthday before? I’m away at a conference on mine this year. Will be waking up alone in a hotel room and stuck in 8 hours of conference presentations. 🤣 I was last year as well. We celebrated the day before I left. 🤷🏻‍♀️ She can buy him a bloody cake to have in their room that night!

I got married on my mother-in-law's birthday and we didn't do anything at the wedding. We arranged and paid for her to get her nails done for the wedding as a little surprise, but I can't imagine any of my family or friends asking for their own cake at a wedding. I mean... they're invited to a big fancy party, that seems like a decent celebration to me!

Why would you want attention on your birthday at someone else's wedding? You said his husband, maybe your friends husband doesn't know anything though about it?

Going against the grain...it was one of our wedding guests birthday on our wedding day. We had a cake made for him, and I got everyone to sing happy birthday

Is this the world we live in where a friend invites you to their wedding and the immediate response is "ok but you must get my husband a birthday cake for his special day"...
Crikey. The embarrassment of a grown adult wanting to geg in and have some of the attention on them!

When my son and daughter in law were married it was my daughter in law's Mother's birthday. During the speeches it was announced that to celebrate the occasion she was supplying a free drink at the the bar for anyone presenting their place card. It was a very kind and generous offer. Suggest that he might like to do that!

One of my relatives got married on my birthday. They organised a small cake to be quietly delivered to my table during the meal. It wasn't mentioned during the speeches. I thought it was a lovely thing for them to do. I wasn't expecting it and it wouldn't have crossed my mind to ask to be recognised on their special day.

CF's husband can have his cake for his birthday breakfast.

wtf he sounds like a spoilt child 😳

A wedding day is for the bride and groom, I think anyone else should either keep their own celebratory event to themselves or just not attend the wedding. I wouldn’t even think singing happy birthday to someone other than the bride and groom was appropriate to be honest.

Can’t adults just appreciate that today is someone’s wedding day and be happy for them?

What the actual fuck is wrong with your friend??? Of course YANBU!

I seem to be going against the grain here, but I've been to at least two weddings that had a birthday cake and one where there was a wedding anniversary that also had a cake and a mention at the speeches. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's what, two minutes to wish somebody happy birthday out if your whole day?

I was bridesmaid where a guest's DH had his birthday on the same day. The guest TOLD the bride that they'd bring his cake along to the reception! They were insisting and the only way to put a stop to it was for the bride to say that the venue didn't allow outside food to be brought in.

I remember thinking how childish it was of the guest!

My 60th was on my niece's wedding day, the bride's mother gave me a really lovely card, thanking me for attending the wedding on my "special" day.

Had not even considered not going - or making her wedding day in any way, shape, or form, about me...

ABSOLUTELY NOT. This is so, so rude!! I went to a wedding once where the sister of the groom had her family bring her a birthday cake out and sing at her after the meal, and it was one of the most cringy, tacky and entirely inappropriate things I have ever witnessed. Although this same sister went on to complain that there wasn't party bags for her children... so bizarre.

Depending on how important the friendship is to you I would either say "Sorry, that won't be possible" +/- "We totally understand if you'd rather not attend so that you can celebrate his special birthday separately" or

"I'm afraid that the cake maker is fully booked and unable to do that. If you'd like to bring your own cake then we could sing happy birthday to him at the beginning of the speeches".

CF though

I was going to suggest that you could arrange for a happy birthday song at some point, but actually I just think that would be embarrassing for him. Who wants to to look like a spoiled child at someone else's wedding?

Cheeky mare!

We had a friend with their birthday the same day as our wedding. We said happy birthday to him when we were chatting. End of.

@JustPearlLurker i think you would be very gracious to organise a fairy cake with one candle to mark his birthday during the party - after dinner and speeches of course but nothing more.

the way i see it. She is obviously a good friend since she is invited and presumably you want her at your wedding, plus it would be quite fun.

but nothing more absolutely not. So i would personally ask the wedding cake people to make one fairy cake and i would have a candle and thats it.

i would not want her to organise a cake (nor would i organise a cake) so you can still control the narrative.

My friend had her birthday on my wedding day. My other friends got her a card which they put on her name place and tied a balloon to her chair (they asked me first but I was fine about it). I don't think he needs a special cake or a mention in the speeches. Surely lots of people won't know who he is anyway. Birthdays come every year and can be celebrated another day. Weddings, not so much.

You could get the groom to give him a mention and everyone sing to him at some point? But asking for a cake is not on.
if he wants a birthday party for his husband, he should organise that instead and not come to your wedding.