My wedding, AIBU?

We did it, but it was DH nephew’s 21st. Did Happy Birthday & candles. Just a cake from M&S.

When my daughter gets married in Jan 28 they are doing a joint celebration for a birthday - their dog's 10th
I would tell the 'friend' not to bother coming and celebrate with her manchild husband instead!

@JustPearlLurker “My gut quite frankly is fuck off …” made me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I cannot believe people are replying to this post saying it would be nice to do it, as if it is in anyway a normal request. Do adults seriously care this much about their birthdays that they demand an acknowledgement of it at someone else's wedding? It is not even a milestone birthday and he’s had 40 odd of them before. Bizarre. The cheek to ask the cake maker to make an extra cake at your expense!! Astounding.

What, no. Bonkers. I mean, stick a candle in his piece of cake, announce it and get people to sing happy birthday IF you feel like it. But fine if you don't.

My grandparents once went to a (fairly distant) relative's wedding on their anniversary - not a round number but a high one, about 58 I think. Bride and groom announced it and raised a glass and everyone sort of went "aah, how heartwarming" and congratulated them etc and then got on with the normal wedding stuff. So that was very sweet of bride and groom and also sort of appropriate (you know, long lasting happy marriages and all that). But it has to come from the bride and groom. And making someone else their own cake would be barking.

I love the idea of doing a cupcake and then going really OTT about making a fuss for his 46th birthday, such a special day, his wife asked to mention it etc etc, but I'm petty.

My brother went to a wedding on his 30th. I think he got a shout out in a speech, but it really wasn't a big deal. We do always remember their wedding anniversary though 😊

I don’t think that’s such a mad idea, it would be nice.

ETA mumsnetters hate birthdays.

I wouldn't organise a cake for him but I'd acknowledge it being his birthday.

At our wedding there was a couple celebrating their 25th anniversary and 2 people with a birthday. They all had mentions and we gave a bottle of champagne to the anniversary couple.

I've been to 3 weddings that have fallen on my birthday (August baby). I would have been hugely embarrassed to have my birthday mentioned at somebody's wedding. It's their special day and nobody elses. I celebrated my birthday with my husband at another time. What a self-centred request from your friend.

Er, no. It was the best man’s birthday at our wedding. No fuss made, no mention of his birthday even (I found out afterwards), he was glad of a good party and catch up with friends.

I’d say, ‘Happy for you to bring along a cake and lead the happy birthday song just before we do the speeches’.

And if she pushes you to do the cake you just have to say, ‘That’s not in our budget but happy to sing along to happy birthday’.

It was my favourite aunt’s 70th birthday on my wedding day. She and her family hadn’t mentioned it at all and would have been far too polite to do so, even though a 70th is a big milestone. Mum made a cake and we brought it out as a surprise and everyone sang happy birthday to her. She loved it and now she is long gone we have some nice photos of her blowing out her candles.

But that was entirely our choice and part of the pleasure was surprising her and making her feel special. It was the opposite of CF-ery, which your friend absolutely is.

Our wedding was on the same day as a very close friend's 30th.
Just before we started the speeches, we had the staff to bring out a cake we'd bought him - it was a photo cake with a hilarious photo of him on it. Everyone sang Happy Birthday to him and he was given a pint on us too. It was a lovely addition to the day!

I did get Happy Birthday sung to me at a very informal post-wedding party and it was fun but not my idea!

🤣

They aren't kids.
He's getting to do something spectacular on his special day..ie go to your wedding.

Oh, Susan, who said he was invited?

See this is it exactly. A wedding happens once. A birthday is annually. If it is s landmark birthday, decline the invitation.

I dont know why guests impose conditions on the couple getting married or try to get it their own way.

I was invited to a wedding of a colleague im not hugely close to and it was way up north because some family are there.

I realised it would be 5 hours in one direction either driving or on public transport. That's if everything goes to plan. I declined. It's too much.

I think people forget that you can decline an invitation if it doesnt suit rather than be rude and ask the couple to accommodate ridiculous requests.

If you cba, get the cake maker to give you a quote and send it to her. Guarantee it’ll be hundreds of pounds extra (wedding tax is real) and she’ll realise what a CF she’s being.

We got married last month and it was one of the groommen’s birthdays on our wedding day. We got him a gift bag filled with cute, jokey presents to put on his chair as a little surprise, and all the guests sang happy birthday to him during the speeches. He didn’t ask for this, his wife didn’t ask for this, but it was an appreciated gesture that didn’t take anything away from our special day.

What your friend is asking is completely unreasonable and cheeky. She’s making her husband sound like a spoiled child.

No way. What a cheek.

I speak as someone who thinks that most people go berserk about getting married - but he is being an absolute CF!

Dave has had a birthday more than 40 times in his life - and he can celebrate it any time he likes - but your wedding is YOUR day.

Dave's not a child - he's going to have to cope with not being made a fuss of at SOMEONE ELSE'S WEDDING.

Stick a candle in his dessert

My response would be something along the lines of “Is he five? I’m not doing that.”

I’m afraid I must be a bitch as I wouldn’t lift a finger for someone else’s birthday at my wedding.

WTAF?!!

I bet he would be so embarrassed if his wife did this at your wedding