My wedding, AIBU?

It was a CF request and not the done thing
The wedding cake can be expensive and is cut by the pair of you
Asking the caterer to make another tier/birthday cake on top is a massive imposition and expense
However if she is a v.close friend any of the following gestures are a decent compromise

1. Helium happy birthday balloon tied to his chair/happy birthday placename or card at his table
2. Whoever does the thanks all for coming bit could mention it e.g. especially Barry, who's 44 today, happy birthday Barry (cheer, move on)
3. Wedding DJ plays Stevie Wonder or Altered Images in his set
4. Evening reception separate buffet/hog/supper pending your arrangements, you have a Tesco choc birthday cake then
5. You ask the caterer, give your friend the cost and she pays for it

🍀

You really can't be serious?

Wow! 😆

Is the husband a three-year-old? They're weird and definitely CFs.

'No' is the only answer you need.

@JustPearlLurker

No….no…..& fuck, no!!!

Absolutely not. Cheeky twats. Tell her you assume she’s joking & do not cave!! If she’s that bothered about her husband’s birthday then maybe she can stay home & celebrate that instead of coming to YOUR special day!!!!!!!

You're not being a bridezilla AT ALL. What your friend is suggesting is the absolute height of naff!!

I'd be so embarrassed if I was her DH unless he is as much of a child as she's making him out to be.

Pathetic!!!

I got married on my own birthday and didn’t even arrange a birthday cake for myself 🤣

yanbu. I assume she’s expecting you to pay for it? Absolutely not.

Hi Friend. Sorry that won't be possible, perhaps he could celebrate on a different day this year, though I completely understand if he doesn't want to do that and you guys can't make it to the wedding.
Sincerely, Notabridezilla

Don’t forget to contact your friend next year before her man child’s birthday and ask her to supply a separate cake to celebrate your first wedding anniversary 😆

That is utterly bonkers. He's not a child. Birthdays aren't a big deal to me - I celebrate them but I wouldn't expect someone to give a shit about it if it was their wedding day!

Hilarious! I'm someone who thinks big weddings are a massive waste of money but if people want them and are willing to pay for them, that's entirely their decision. That said, hopefully a wedding is a one-off occasion unlike birthdays which happen every year. Most people stop making a massive fuss about them when they reach adulthood, milestone birthdays aside.

This is the 44th birthday of her friend's husband. Not her friend, not a close relation and not a child. The original request that the baker who is making OP's wedding cake should also make a birthday cake for this man is unreasonable to the point of delusion. This level of entitlement should not be pandered to in any way.

It was a teenage relatives birthday on our wedding day, we offered to arrange a cake for him to celebrate, he politely declined as he could think of nothing worse.
Yes, it was "our day" spent with our nearest and dearest, of course we would like to celebrate their milestones too

This happened to me and my DH. My brother got married on his 40th. We went out the night before for dinner and had a big party the following bank holiday. I didn’t even think about asking for anything special as it was their day. My brother did get everyone to sing HB birthday to DH which was very sweet.

By that logic, maybe if OP is so precious about her wedding and would be upset if every iota of attention wasn’t focused on her and her wedding, to the point that people she’s chosen to
celebrate with aren’t allowed a
minute out of a whole
day to acknowledge their own special occasion, then maybe she shouldn’t have other humans as wedding guests.

If it was a close friend and special birthday I’d probably mark it in a small way but otherwise it’s just embarrassing for everyone.

I got married on my own birthday. My dad was happy because everyone singing happy birthday took up half of his speech time (he’s not a public speaker!)

A 43rd birthday? For a grown man? The most I'd do is during the night get the MC to sing happy birthday and stick a candle in the dessert!

Had two birthdays at my wedding…. Including a 1 yr old! My dad mentioned them quickly in the speeches but that was it. Would have understood if they didn’t want to come but they did.

It's not like he is at the wedding for breakfast too. She has all morning to give him a cake. I would just mutter something about finding out then never reply. She will realise it's nuts when she thinks about what she has said later.

My god daughter had her birthday on my wedding day so we left a card and small gift at her place setting and said happy birthday when chatting. No need for a big fuss, just a little recognition. Maybe a mention as part of the speeches if you feel that way inclined? A birthday and a wedding day should be able to co-exist without any drama or thunder stealing I think. It’s all a lovely celebration of the happy couple and the people they share their lives with.

We had a second cake at our wedding, but it was for my parents 25th wedding anniversary, as our wedding meant they didn’t have their own party. I thought it was great, but no way would I want a random guests birthday cake at my wedding!

We later celebrated our 25th with their 50th and I am only sad that Mum has not made it to our 40th/65th next month. (They had 63 years together)

I wouldn't even respond to that and if she asked again, I'd just say "I thought you were joking?!".

No one does this.

On our wedding day there were three birthdays of attendees - my bridesmaid’s husband, my mum’s friend (who helped make our wedding cake) and one of my best mate’s young son. At the end of his speech my husband made a little announcement about the birthday. The child (3) got a cake with a candle (a supermarket bought superhero cake) and we all sung happy birthday to him, we also gave him a little present. The 30 odd year old man got ‘there are a couple of pints paid for at the bar for you’ and my mum made a little cake for her friend who was invited to the evening do (along with few of my mums other close friends) and they sang happy birthday to her other little group with no fuss.

We mainly made a fuss of the 3 year old, because he was three and he’s one of my fav people in the world! If it was just the adults, we’d have quietly bought them a couple of drinks. No one asked us to do anything and they all accepted they could celebrate another day. Plus wedding was 1pm, they had the morning to do their family presents etc.

This reminds me of Catherine Tyldesley wanting free stuff for her birthday, then she asked them to also make a smaller cake for her husband. Whose birthday it actually was that day...

I would have done the same in your circumstances, a 21st is a bid deal.

In this situation I wouldn't though.